Melt | 1/1 (oneshot) | ToraxShou
Title: Melt
Chapter: 1/1 (oneshot)
Author: アキ
Fandom: Alice Nine
Disclaimer: I don't own the guys. Just the story.
Pairings: ToraxShou
Genre: Angst, (vague) smut
Rating: R
Warning: Weirdness. A most-likely-terrible attempt at poetic (smut) writing.
Beta: None
Summary: ... All I want is that you stop hiding. I’m trying my best to burn you, burn your exterior, reveal the real you. I know you’re there somewhere.
BEFORE YOU READ: Well, you'll probably figure it out by yourself, but incase you find it confusing: red is Shou, and black is Tora. I was listening to Kiyoharu's UNDER THE SUN and loved (over and over and over again!) while I was writing this. Consider those songs as this fic's main BGM. It's not obligatory (you are free to find your own fitting BGM if you wish), but I do recommend you to listen to those songs too while you're reading this ;D
Melt
“Let go of me.”
No, don’t ever let go.
Because when your hands are all over me I feel like melting-like ice in a hot, hot water; like cloud into raindrops. And then I fall. I fall so far and so weightlessly. Into your awaiting arms. Into your vast, vast ocean of liquid ember.
“Kiss me,” I beg. Because when your lips touch mine, despite the foreboding sense of no, no, we can’t do this I want you, oh God I want you so bad.
Kiss me, over and over again. Pull me down from the lofty height where I keep forgetting who I really am and chain me on the ground. Let me know what it’s like to be real.
“I won’t.”
Why, why? Again, why? You know I can’t let you go, and you know I can’t resist you now that you’re here. Searching for you takes forever. Although you were always there-always, but never close enough for me to reach. I want to burn you, burn you until you are melting in my palms. I want you here. Sink into me.
I kiss you, you asked for it. Your strawberry scented lips, sweet, oh too sweet. My weakness. My downfall. No, no, we can’t do this but we both want it, want it so bad.
Let me touch you, over and over again. Let us both remember ourselves, here, you and me. It is only when I’m with you that I can remember. Because in your large, dark eyes, I can see who I really am.
No, no, please stop but then no, please don’t stop, because your hands under my shirt, melting me inch by inch. Feels so good, so, so good. Your lips, taste so sharp, like high-class wine that has been left untouched for many, many years. But you’re not innocent. And neither am I.
“No…”
Yes.
Your tongue and mine, dance, dance to our personal music. Like how I sing your songs, and how the riffs of your guitar complete my voice. It’s like we melt into one, on stage, in our music. So now take me, take me to the chorus part. Let me scream with you-for you.
Don’t tell me no if you don’t mean it. Don’t make me hear your objections whereas your body approves me. In your mouth I can taste what you can’t say, so don’t speak. There’s no innocence that you can pretend that I can’t see through. Just tell me the truth.
“Let me…”
Let me drink you.
I promise you I’ll find the core of your existence inside of you, although it’s deep, deep down there. I will melt you until I can hold it in my hands. Let me own you. And then you can sing for me, sing like you do on stage, sing like how you would with my songs. Make us both complete.
“Oh…”
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. But please, please touch me again. Your fingers on my chest, on my stomach. Yes, do that again. Play with me as if I’m one of your guitars. Strum me. Let me play you your melodies.
As I stand there before you, dissolving into a mesh of pixels under your gold-green-hazel-I can’t even name that color-gaze, almost naked but completely nude inside. I am swaying in our hot, hot dance. I can’t feel my legs-have they turned into fluid? I don’t care. I don’t care. Even if I am slowly melting into nothingness, even if I disappear.
I hear the soft sound of my shirt slithering to the floor. My mind is frantic, don’t, stop, please stop, but in my mouth the words turn into, “Go on, go on.”
“Beautiful,” and in all honesty you are. Too beautiful. Smooth, white skin-sometimes I wonder if you’re made of silk. I whisper the word like a mantra to you, against the shell of your ear, against the gentle expanse of your neck. You tremble as if I’ve struck a chord, amplified in your sweet, sweet moan. More, please, more. Let me know. Let me hear it.
Can I carve my existence onto you? It’s all I want to ask. Here I am, my lips traveling lower and lower on your body. Answer me, please. If only I could see the trails I’ve left on you. If only my kisses could turn your skin to cinder. And once you’re thoroughly burnt, I’ll turn into a supernova myself and follow you to oblivion. It’s a promise.
I kiss your navel. You sway, it’s as if you can no longer support your own weight with your legs. So I say, “Let’s go.” Let’s find who we are in each other.
You guide me lower to the ground, lock me with your chain, my back against the carpeted floor. I wish there was some riot outside, airplanes flying over, cars speeding by, anything, because thump, thump, oh no, my heart is beating so loud. I know you can hear it. Can you?
You’re setting up our rhythm already, here, inside your chest. Thump, thump. Our song is going faster by the second. Start singing for me.
My hands on your body, I wonder what kind of lyric you will write for this song. Anything but a tragic ending, please. Because my hopes are already faltering. If you won’t keep them in your grasp, I’m truly a lost case. Is it too much to ask?
I see hopes in your gold-hazel-brown-what is it again-eyes. They’re bright, so, so bright. Almost blinding. Don’t look at me with that gaze, I close my eyes and breathe, breathe. Inhale, exhale. Your scent is all over me. The earth beneath me is shattering, slowly, slowly. I wonder when I will fall.
I’m clinging to you, you know there’s nothing else I can do, and I find your hair between my fingers. As I open my eyes again I see smooth, long strands, the color is black, lustrous with such a striking contrast against your skin. I like your hair. I really do. I like you.
But it’s not love… no, it can’t be love.
Hold me, yes, hold me tighter, all I want is that you stop hiding. I’m trying my best to burn you, burn your exterior, reveal the real you. I know you’re there somewhere. And once I find you, I’ll find myself as well. Answer me, let me kiss your pretenses away. Speak with your tongue. I’m listening.
My hand down your trembling body, soon, baby, soon-yes, start screaming-under the restricting fabric of your pants you are weeping for me. So hot. So wet. Have you melted already?
I want to cry but I can’t, I can’t cry, what are you trying to do to me? No, oh God, I’m crying. I’m sobbing in your hands, helpless. You’re stripping me off of everything, my clothes, my masks. I’m already naked underneath you, what else do you want from me? Everything… I can’t give you everything, oh but I want to, but I can’t…
“Tora…” Your name slips between my lips as softly as air, but if you listen carefully, deep inside I’m screaming aloud. TORA. TORA. OH PLEASE, TORA.
“Yes,” I’m here, I’m right here. Although you might not even know it, I’m always here. I’m your shadow. I hear you calling me, your voice slides like oil-rose scented oil, sweet, sickeningly sweet-on my skin, trickling into my conscience, convincing me that you are really here. Not just a fraction of my imagination again, no, no, not again, please.
I’ve always wondered how you would react. If I touch you like this, if I kiss you here, if I hold you this way, if I… if I… if I tell you what you most likely don’t want to hear…
I understand. I understand all too well why you never, ever… But for now, if you would just let everything melt into this moment, between us. Let me discover the real you and the real me. Inside. Somewhere. Everywhere.
Breaking-falling-floating-catch me please, please, I’m scared-kissing you kissing you touching you…
I don’t know how I’ve managed so far to stay away from you, now that I’m here, in your mercy. Oh, please have mercy on me. It’s hard to comprehend how easy it seems for you to tear me apart to pieces, but for some reason you’re also completing me… piece by piece, and now I feel like a puzzle slowly showing its’ full picture.
You might not be able to see it but you’re shedding every layer with just the touch of your fingers on me. All the way, all the way to the depth of my bones I can feel you, oh yes, there! You’re burning me. Burning me alive.
Burn me more.
Something inside me is swelling, swelling so big my chest is going to burst. Watching you slowly coming undone in my hands-yes, I know, I can feel it, more, you want more-makes me feel like I’ve taken control over the world. Over you. It’s as if you’re all mine. Oh how I wish you were mine.
“Tell me what you want, Shou…” Because I’ve had enough of guessing. Don’t you know how long I’ve spent trying to find out yes or no, how or why, are you or are you not?
I want you.
I can’t say it. Why can’t you understand? I can’t.
“More,” instead I say. At least it’s not a lie, for now.
Show me more. Let me see you because I want to forget everything else. Shiver for me and let me feel it under my fingers, inside your clothes, inside your skin, inside your heart.
I shiver against your hands, no, no, how can you do that to me? You touch me here and there as if you know exactly what will drive me off the edge and perhaps you do, you know, you’ve always known. Close, you’re so close, take everything off of me and own me, although you’ve always had me anyways, but please! Oh, Shou, please…
If I could only touch everything all at once, oh how I want you, yes, kiss me again, but please don’t say anything. Skin on skin. Our breaths becoming one. Your lips on mine. Your heart pounds against my chest. My passion throbs inside your grasp.
The carpet grazes against my back but to hell with it, to hell with everything else rotten in this world because you’re here, you’re mine-no, no, I don’t want you oh God but I do, I do. What should I do when you do that to me, again and again? Tell me, what?
I hear myself whisper your name repeatedly, but is that really me? Is that me losing control? I can’t recognize myself. But why doesn’t it seem important? As long as I can recognize you…
I’m going out of my mind, wait, maybe I’ve lost it already. What does it matter? Nothing, not when you’re calling my name as if it’s the only vocabulary you know. I want to know if it haunts your dreams as often as your name haunts mine. I want to be there even where you’re not awake. Because you’re haunting me, haunting me, please just stay with me.
If I could be your chain, to hold you where you are and never let you go into the dark, dark world. But you won’t want that, I know. But it isn’t fair when you ground me like this, like some fearsome cage around me, rooting me to the spot, always, this fool is always pining for you in silence. Even now, oh no, this isn’t fair, your legs, your fine, fine legs…
Come here now, come on to me, my Tiger. For now let me own you, let me have you, please. Closer, closer, no, not close enough. I need you too much, inside me, fill me up with something I’ve never successfully discovered in my sad, sad life. Only you… somehow, only you. But I don’t know why I still can’t reach you. Maybe I’m scared. I am scared.
Oh no-yes-no-oh Tora-deeper-please please please-I can’t go on-go on, please, go on, because you’re so close to completing me. Give me everything. I’m selfish, I’ve always been so. I just want your everything.
Inside you is heaven, or hell, or heaven, or both, I can’t tell anymore. It just feels so good, so, so good, so hot. The ground is shaking. We’re both shaking. The entire world is trembling on its’ axis but see if I care. Our hips sway in this macabre dance, unstoppable, I don’t want to stop, never. We’re discovering completion, together. Soon, my sweet, sweet demon, soon.
Your pulse against my lips, I can feel it escalating, faster, faster, oh yes faster. I’m going deeper-faster-you ask for it-oh yes-oh yes-Shou-don’t let go, everything will be alright, I’ll give you everything you want. Everything and even more.
I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t. I just can’t. There! More! Tora, oh Tora, oh please…
Say it say it say it. No, don’t. Say it, you idiot, say it.
“I…” love you. I can’t. “…’m close.”
I can hear it in your voice, underneath the false pretenses, but I refuse to understand it. I’ll play the deaf man and you the blind one. We’re happier that way, aren’t we? Just go-faster faster deeper oh God yes-right there! Right there!
Burn with me. Burn until you’re nothing but liquid in my hands. You’re mine you’re mine you’re mine please just say you’re mine…
Too close. Too painful.
“TORA!”
And finally, for one bright moment, I can see who I really am. Melted right to the core. Naked. Unveiled.
Yours.
Your voice in my veins. Snaking through me. Inside out. Inside out. Bleeding into nothingness.
For one bright moment, I can believe you’re mine.
Kiss me one more time-yes, just like that-and hold me as if it’s not over yet. But don’t say anything. Not a word. Don’t let me freeze again. In your hands, in this absurd unity, I am what I am.
Again, sealed inside this salty kiss, are the words I can never say to you. And as you close your eyes, shutting everything away from your untouchable world, the song stops and I know, I know that it’s all over.
We are what we are.
=== THE END ===
A/N: Sooo... how was it? Okay, yeah, I know, it's weird. But the songs that were playing (noted above) brought all the words out. I haven't written smut for aaages so... huh. I don't even know what to make of this. LOL~ Okay, whatever, comments, critics, whatever you wish to tell me, do click on the 'leave a comment' button (it's up there under my icon, since LOTS of people have gotten lost here looking for it XD). See you again soon!
Fanfic list here.
Chapter: 1/1 (oneshot)
Author: アキ
Fandom: Alice Nine
Disclaimer: I don't own the guys. Just the story.
Pairings: ToraxShou
Genre: Angst, (vague) smut
Rating: R
Warning: Weirdness. A most-likely-terrible attempt at poetic (smut) writing.
Beta: None
Summary: ... All I want is that you stop hiding. I’m trying my best to burn you, burn your exterior, reveal the real you. I know you’re there somewhere.
BEFORE YOU READ: Well, you'll probably figure it out by yourself, but incase you find it confusing: red is Shou, and black is Tora. I was listening to Kiyoharu's UNDER THE SUN and loved (over and over and over again!) while I was writing this. Consider those songs as this fic's main BGM. It's not obligatory (you are free to find your own fitting BGM if you wish), but I do recommend you to listen to those songs too while you're reading this ;D
Melt
“Let go of me.”
No, don’t ever let go.
Because when your hands are all over me I feel like melting-like ice in a hot, hot water; like cloud into raindrops. And then I fall. I fall so far and so weightlessly. Into your awaiting arms. Into your vast, vast ocean of liquid ember.
“Kiss me,” I beg. Because when your lips touch mine, despite the foreboding sense of no, no, we can’t do this I want you, oh God I want you so bad.
Kiss me, over and over again. Pull me down from the lofty height where I keep forgetting who I really am and chain me on the ground. Let me know what it’s like to be real.
“I won’t.”
Why, why? Again, why? You know I can’t let you go, and you know I can’t resist you now that you’re here. Searching for you takes forever. Although you were always there-always, but never close enough for me to reach. I want to burn you, burn you until you are melting in my palms. I want you here. Sink into me.
I kiss you, you asked for it. Your strawberry scented lips, sweet, oh too sweet. My weakness. My downfall. No, no, we can’t do this but we both want it, want it so bad.
Let me touch you, over and over again. Let us both remember ourselves, here, you and me. It is only when I’m with you that I can remember. Because in your large, dark eyes, I can see who I really am.
No, no, please stop but then no, please don’t stop, because your hands under my shirt, melting me inch by inch. Feels so good, so, so good. Your lips, taste so sharp, like high-class wine that has been left untouched for many, many years. But you’re not innocent. And neither am I.
“No…”
Yes.
Your tongue and mine, dance, dance to our personal music. Like how I sing your songs, and how the riffs of your guitar complete my voice. It’s like we melt into one, on stage, in our music. So now take me, take me to the chorus part. Let me scream with you-for you.
Don’t tell me no if you don’t mean it. Don’t make me hear your objections whereas your body approves me. In your mouth I can taste what you can’t say, so don’t speak. There’s no innocence that you can pretend that I can’t see through. Just tell me the truth.
“Let me…”
Let me drink you.
I promise you I’ll find the core of your existence inside of you, although it’s deep, deep down there. I will melt you until I can hold it in my hands. Let me own you. And then you can sing for me, sing like you do on stage, sing like how you would with my songs. Make us both complete.
“Oh…”
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. But please, please touch me again. Your fingers on my chest, on my stomach. Yes, do that again. Play with me as if I’m one of your guitars. Strum me. Let me play you your melodies.
As I stand there before you, dissolving into a mesh of pixels under your gold-green-hazel-I can’t even name that color-gaze, almost naked but completely nude inside. I am swaying in our hot, hot dance. I can’t feel my legs-have they turned into fluid? I don’t care. I don’t care. Even if I am slowly melting into nothingness, even if I disappear.
I hear the soft sound of my shirt slithering to the floor. My mind is frantic, don’t, stop, please stop, but in my mouth the words turn into, “Go on, go on.”
“Beautiful,” and in all honesty you are. Too beautiful. Smooth, white skin-sometimes I wonder if you’re made of silk. I whisper the word like a mantra to you, against the shell of your ear, against the gentle expanse of your neck. You tremble as if I’ve struck a chord, amplified in your sweet, sweet moan. More, please, more. Let me know. Let me hear it.
Can I carve my existence onto you? It’s all I want to ask. Here I am, my lips traveling lower and lower on your body. Answer me, please. If only I could see the trails I’ve left on you. If only my kisses could turn your skin to cinder. And once you’re thoroughly burnt, I’ll turn into a supernova myself and follow you to oblivion. It’s a promise.
I kiss your navel. You sway, it’s as if you can no longer support your own weight with your legs. So I say, “Let’s go.” Let’s find who we are in each other.
You guide me lower to the ground, lock me with your chain, my back against the carpeted floor. I wish there was some riot outside, airplanes flying over, cars speeding by, anything, because thump, thump, oh no, my heart is beating so loud. I know you can hear it. Can you?
You’re setting up our rhythm already, here, inside your chest. Thump, thump. Our song is going faster by the second. Start singing for me.
My hands on your body, I wonder what kind of lyric you will write for this song. Anything but a tragic ending, please. Because my hopes are already faltering. If you won’t keep them in your grasp, I’m truly a lost case. Is it too much to ask?
I see hopes in your gold-hazel-brown-what is it again-eyes. They’re bright, so, so bright. Almost blinding. Don’t look at me with that gaze, I close my eyes and breathe, breathe. Inhale, exhale. Your scent is all over me. The earth beneath me is shattering, slowly, slowly. I wonder when I will fall.
I’m clinging to you, you know there’s nothing else I can do, and I find your hair between my fingers. As I open my eyes again I see smooth, long strands, the color is black, lustrous with such a striking contrast against your skin. I like your hair. I really do. I like you.
But it’s not love… no, it can’t be love.
Hold me, yes, hold me tighter, all I want is that you stop hiding. I’m trying my best to burn you, burn your exterior, reveal the real you. I know you’re there somewhere. And once I find you, I’ll find myself as well. Answer me, let me kiss your pretenses away. Speak with your tongue. I’m listening.
My hand down your trembling body, soon, baby, soon-yes, start screaming-under the restricting fabric of your pants you are weeping for me. So hot. So wet. Have you melted already?
I want to cry but I can’t, I can’t cry, what are you trying to do to me? No, oh God, I’m crying. I’m sobbing in your hands, helpless. You’re stripping me off of everything, my clothes, my masks. I’m already naked underneath you, what else do you want from me? Everything… I can’t give you everything, oh but I want to, but I can’t…
“Tora…” Your name slips between my lips as softly as air, but if you listen carefully, deep inside I’m screaming aloud. TORA. TORA. OH PLEASE, TORA.
“Yes,” I’m here, I’m right here. Although you might not even know it, I’m always here. I’m your shadow. I hear you calling me, your voice slides like oil-rose scented oil, sweet, sickeningly sweet-on my skin, trickling into my conscience, convincing me that you are really here. Not just a fraction of my imagination again, no, no, not again, please.
I’ve always wondered how you would react. If I touch you like this, if I kiss you here, if I hold you this way, if I… if I… if I tell you what you most likely don’t want to hear…
I understand. I understand all too well why you never, ever… But for now, if you would just let everything melt into this moment, between us. Let me discover the real you and the real me. Inside. Somewhere. Everywhere.
Breaking-falling-floating-catch me please, please, I’m scared-kissing you kissing you touching you…
I don’t know how I’ve managed so far to stay away from you, now that I’m here, in your mercy. Oh, please have mercy on me. It’s hard to comprehend how easy it seems for you to tear me apart to pieces, but for some reason you’re also completing me… piece by piece, and now I feel like a puzzle slowly showing its’ full picture.
You might not be able to see it but you’re shedding every layer with just the touch of your fingers on me. All the way, all the way to the depth of my bones I can feel you, oh yes, there! You’re burning me. Burning me alive.
Burn me more.
Something inside me is swelling, swelling so big my chest is going to burst. Watching you slowly coming undone in my hands-yes, I know, I can feel it, more, you want more-makes me feel like I’ve taken control over the world. Over you. It’s as if you’re all mine. Oh how I wish you were mine.
“Tell me what you want, Shou…” Because I’ve had enough of guessing. Don’t you know how long I’ve spent trying to find out yes or no, how or why, are you or are you not?
I want you.
I can’t say it. Why can’t you understand? I can’t.
“More,” instead I say. At least it’s not a lie, for now.
Show me more. Let me see you because I want to forget everything else. Shiver for me and let me feel it under my fingers, inside your clothes, inside your skin, inside your heart.
I shiver against your hands, no, no, how can you do that to me? You touch me here and there as if you know exactly what will drive me off the edge and perhaps you do, you know, you’ve always known. Close, you’re so close, take everything off of me and own me, although you’ve always had me anyways, but please! Oh, Shou, please…
If I could only touch everything all at once, oh how I want you, yes, kiss me again, but please don’t say anything. Skin on skin. Our breaths becoming one. Your lips on mine. Your heart pounds against my chest. My passion throbs inside your grasp.
The carpet grazes against my back but to hell with it, to hell with everything else rotten in this world because you’re here, you’re mine-no, no, I don’t want you oh God but I do, I do. What should I do when you do that to me, again and again? Tell me, what?
I hear myself whisper your name repeatedly, but is that really me? Is that me losing control? I can’t recognize myself. But why doesn’t it seem important? As long as I can recognize you…
I’m going out of my mind, wait, maybe I’ve lost it already. What does it matter? Nothing, not when you’re calling my name as if it’s the only vocabulary you know. I want to know if it haunts your dreams as often as your name haunts mine. I want to be there even where you’re not awake. Because you’re haunting me, haunting me, please just stay with me.
If I could be your chain, to hold you where you are and never let you go into the dark, dark world. But you won’t want that, I know. But it isn’t fair when you ground me like this, like some fearsome cage around me, rooting me to the spot, always, this fool is always pining for you in silence. Even now, oh no, this isn’t fair, your legs, your fine, fine legs…
Come here now, come on to me, my Tiger. For now let me own you, let me have you, please. Closer, closer, no, not close enough. I need you too much, inside me, fill me up with something I’ve never successfully discovered in my sad, sad life. Only you… somehow, only you. But I don’t know why I still can’t reach you. Maybe I’m scared. I am scared.
Oh no-yes-no-oh Tora-deeper-please please please-I can’t go on-go on, please, go on, because you’re so close to completing me. Give me everything. I’m selfish, I’ve always been so. I just want your everything.
Inside you is heaven, or hell, or heaven, or both, I can’t tell anymore. It just feels so good, so, so good, so hot. The ground is shaking. We’re both shaking. The entire world is trembling on its’ axis but see if I care. Our hips sway in this macabre dance, unstoppable, I don’t want to stop, never. We’re discovering completion, together. Soon, my sweet, sweet demon, soon.
Your pulse against my lips, I can feel it escalating, faster, faster, oh yes faster. I’m going deeper-faster-you ask for it-oh yes-oh yes-Shou-don’t let go, everything will be alright, I’ll give you everything you want. Everything and even more.
I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t. I just can’t. There! More! Tora, oh Tora, oh please…
Say it say it say it. No, don’t. Say it, you idiot, say it.
“I…” love you. I can’t. “…’m close.”
I can hear it in your voice, underneath the false pretenses, but I refuse to understand it. I’ll play the deaf man and you the blind one. We’re happier that way, aren’t we? Just go-faster faster deeper oh God yes-right there! Right there!
Burn with me. Burn until you’re nothing but liquid in my hands. You’re mine you’re mine you’re mine please just say you’re mine…
Too close. Too painful.
“TORA!”
And finally, for one bright moment, I can see who I really am. Melted right to the core. Naked. Unveiled.
Yours.
Your voice in my veins. Snaking through me. Inside out. Inside out. Bleeding into nothingness.
For one bright moment, I can believe you’re mine.
Kiss me one more time-yes, just like that-and hold me as if it’s not over yet. But don’t say anything. Not a word. Don’t let me freeze again. In your hands, in this absurd unity, I am what I am.
Again, sealed inside this salty kiss, are the words I can never say to you. And as you close your eyes, shutting everything away from your untouchable world, the song stops and I know, I know that it’s all over.
We are what we are.
=== THE END ===
A/N: Sooo... how was it? Okay, yeah, I know, it's weird. But the songs that were playing (noted above) brought all the words out. I haven't written smut for aaages so... huh. I don't even know what to make of this. LOL~ Okay, whatever, comments, critics, whatever you wish to tell me, do click on the 'leave a comment' button (it's up there under my icon, since LOTS of people have gotten lost here looking for it XD). See you again soon!
Fanfic list here.