What a way to start
This is not the time to start a journal, one would say. Everything is changing. Another zoo intern told me about this place, so I thought I would try it. I just have to get some of my thoughts and feelings out in writing.
This past week has been topsy-turvy. Every day, it seemed, I had to interact with someone. Some stranger. The majority of which seemed to be mutants. A couple of the people I met (Marsha and Wes) were really nice and I actually met them more than once, but overall it seemed like I was put in fast-forward without a stop button.
My world has totally changed and shifted positions in just one short week. In one short week, it looks like nine years of avoidance are going to be wasted.
This guy I met, Wes, it turns out he’s a mutant. It also turns out that he is attending a school that helps young mutants. And he thinks that I should go too. He thinks they can help me. I just want my life to go back to the way it was before where I was avoiding people so I didn’t have to worry about my ability. I just want to stop bumping into people, interacting. Go back to my animals and my sketching and pretend like nothing happened.
I know that I can’t.
My mother found my half of the conversation Wes and I had. She found out about the school. She had a long talk with me and made it clear that I was to find out more about this school and find help. She told me some things I never knew. She’s given so much for me.
I emailed Wes, to his great surprise and mine, and we me the next day. I had been kind of hoping that he wouldn’t show up, but he did. I didn’t know what all I should find out, but I asked what questions I could think of. In the end I agreed to go look at the school and meet a faculty member. I knew I couldn’t do anything else. He is supposed to email me soon about it.
I wish that I had never met Wes. If I hadn’t met Wes none of this would have happened. It would have been possible for me to go back to the way I was before this crazy week. I would have admitted anything about me and would have been my regular, denying self. I wouldn’t have heard about this school and my mother wouldn’t have found out. I wouldn’t be in this mess at all. At least not as badly as it seems I am now.
I’m so confused and scared. I’m terrified. I’ve been living most of my life hiding from the world and my power. I have been intentionally ignoring my power and wearing long clothes and not interacting with people. I was okay living that way. Now it seems that no matter where I go I encounter
I don’t want to leave my mother. I don’t want to go and live with a whole bunch of other mutants. It might comfort some, not having to hide as Wes put it, but I’m still hiding. I know what my mother wants, what I should do.
But how can you control something like healing? How can they help me?
I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. At least Wes will be there for the tour. At least I won’t be alone in this new place.
This past week has been topsy-turvy. Every day, it seemed, I had to interact with someone. Some stranger. The majority of which seemed to be mutants. A couple of the people I met (Marsha and Wes) were really nice and I actually met them more than once, but overall it seemed like I was put in fast-forward without a stop button.
My world has totally changed and shifted positions in just one short week. In one short week, it looks like nine years of avoidance are going to be wasted.
This guy I met, Wes, it turns out he’s a mutant. It also turns out that he is attending a school that helps young mutants. And he thinks that I should go too. He thinks they can help me. I just want my life to go back to the way it was before where I was avoiding people so I didn’t have to worry about my ability. I just want to stop bumping into people, interacting. Go back to my animals and my sketching and pretend like nothing happened.
I know that I can’t.
My mother found my half of the conversation Wes and I had. She found out about the school. She had a long talk with me and made it clear that I was to find out more about this school and find help. She told me some things I never knew. She’s given so much for me.
I emailed Wes, to his great surprise and mine, and we me the next day. I had been kind of hoping that he wouldn’t show up, but he did. I didn’t know what all I should find out, but I asked what questions I could think of. In the end I agreed to go look at the school and meet a faculty member. I knew I couldn’t do anything else. He is supposed to email me soon about it.
I wish that I had never met Wes. If I hadn’t met Wes none of this would have happened. It would have been possible for me to go back to the way I was before this crazy week. I would have admitted anything about me and would have been my regular, denying self. I wouldn’t have heard about this school and my mother wouldn’t have found out. I wouldn’t be in this mess at all. At least not as badly as it seems I am now.
I’m so confused and scared. I’m terrified. I’ve been living most of my life hiding from the world and my power. I have been intentionally ignoring my power and wearing long clothes and not interacting with people. I was okay living that way. Now it seems that no matter where I go I encounter
I don’t want to leave my mother. I don’t want to go and live with a whole bunch of other mutants. It might comfort some, not having to hide as Wes put it, but I’m still hiding. I know what my mother wants, what I should do.
But how can you control something like healing? How can they help me?
I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. At least Wes will be there for the tour. At least I won’t be alone in this new place.