(no subject)
I am at work. This means that I'm sitting at a computer, but not my own computer. Ergo, I feel much more restricted than normal (I don't get to look at porn and masturbate play my awesome games, listen to a bunch of music on iTunes, look up stuff that I wouldn't feel comfortable looking up with other people around {namely, my weird-ass über-geeky shit}{I love parenthetical statements within parenthetical statements}, and the like). However, I can do things like write in my LJ (Christ, that phrase sounds so retarded in my head; whatever, I suppose), because most of the people around here aren't actively looking at it and I can switch between windows quickly enough for the, like, three other people in here to not see what I've written about whatever I feel like writing.
Anyway, on to the meat and potatoes of what I'm writing at work.
Anyway, sub specie aeternitatis, all the melodramatic shit occuring is, quite frankly, absurd. From least perspectives to greatest perspectives, it is patently foolish. For one, we're all adults with regards to these things. All of us are the age of majority and should be in the final stages of brain growth associated with puberty. Our ancestors were dealing with problems at least as vexing as this, if not more vexing (imagine being in love with someone who is in love with someone else in Genoa in 1347; not only is there the love triangle aspect of things, but there's also the plague). They tended to deal with this shit rather well. Evidence of this is rather apparent, namely that we're all alive and descended of people who could deal with these situations in some manner. (shit, lost my train of thought due to a call from my brother and cannot regain it, so, just skipping straight to the largest perspective instead of some of the middle ones) Further, if we look at things in the widest scale, this shit is absolutely minute. This thing, in totality, affects how many people? A dozen, perhaps, and this is including people at the periphery? And, speaking from a standpoint of evolutionary psychology, this is all just strategies built into us to pass on genes that 'want' to be passed on. As rational creatures, we should be able to recognize these things and thus lessen our own pain due to this shit, if we can recognize things for what they are.
This is not to say that I am above this or more noble for my realizations, somehow. I am not. I am still mired in the flesh and blood and bone of humanity, still wearing the mantle of the human birthright. I still experience this pain that I would like to excise for I realize its source and the most probable reasons for its happening and progression. Yet, this brain with which I've been blessed and cursed, with all the powers of rationality that it has, cannot overcome the limbic system. It is a most vexing problem, I realize. The reptile within latches onto things with mighty, primordial jaws and I can't find a fucking strong enough lever to pry open the jaws.
Beyond that quagmire, though, my life has been pretty good. I've more or less come to accept my personal extinction at the end of my life. It doesn't please me in the least, but I realize that I have no power to extend conciousness after my brain is destroyed via the cold hand of death. Because of this utter and complete impotence, I've more or less ceased to worry about it. I can do less to change my inevitable death than I can to change the seasons or the inexorable march around the sun the earth makes, and I don't worry about it getting cold in the winter or the days growing long in summer.
And my life is otherwise completely good. I need to get off my ass more for my schoolwork, but that isn't inexorably soul-crushing. My financial situation sucks, but, eh, it's just money. It does handy things, otherwise, it doesn't appeal that much to me. I'd rather have cool and interesting things, like computers and books, rather than a pile of cash. Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be lacking both for a while. At least I'm used to spartan living conditions and don't mind bland, repetitive meals (mm-mmm, ramen!).
That's about it, really. Except for shit that is, more or less, philosophically absurd, my life is going fine. I can't really brook any complaints about my existence, as it is not an unending stream of agony and doom (well, in a certain sense it is, but, not in all of them).
As I can't really add much, I'm going to end this. Even though it only ate up about 20 minutes of my time at work. Which, I suppose, does make me quite sad. I really need something better to do with my time during my fucking shifts. D:
Anyway, on to the meat and potatoes of what I'm writing at work.
Anyway, sub specie aeternitatis, all the melodramatic shit occuring is, quite frankly, absurd. From least perspectives to greatest perspectives, it is patently foolish. For one, we're all adults with regards to these things. All of us are the age of majority and should be in the final stages of brain growth associated with puberty. Our ancestors were dealing with problems at least as vexing as this, if not more vexing (imagine being in love with someone who is in love with someone else in Genoa in 1347; not only is there the love triangle aspect of things, but there's also the plague). They tended to deal with this shit rather well. Evidence of this is rather apparent, namely that we're all alive and descended of people who could deal with these situations in some manner. (shit, lost my train of thought due to a call from my brother and cannot regain it, so, just skipping straight to the largest perspective instead of some of the middle ones) Further, if we look at things in the widest scale, this shit is absolutely minute. This thing, in totality, affects how many people? A dozen, perhaps, and this is including people at the periphery? And, speaking from a standpoint of evolutionary psychology, this is all just strategies built into us to pass on genes that 'want' to be passed on. As rational creatures, we should be able to recognize these things and thus lessen our own pain due to this shit, if we can recognize things for what they are.
This is not to say that I am above this or more noble for my realizations, somehow. I am not. I am still mired in the flesh and blood and bone of humanity, still wearing the mantle of the human birthright. I still experience this pain that I would like to excise for I realize its source and the most probable reasons for its happening and progression. Yet, this brain with which I've been blessed and cursed, with all the powers of rationality that it has, cannot overcome the limbic system. It is a most vexing problem, I realize. The reptile within latches onto things with mighty, primordial jaws and I can't find a fucking strong enough lever to pry open the jaws.
Beyond that quagmire, though, my life has been pretty good. I've more or less come to accept my personal extinction at the end of my life. It doesn't please me in the least, but I realize that I have no power to extend conciousness after my brain is destroyed via the cold hand of death. Because of this utter and complete impotence, I've more or less ceased to worry about it. I can do less to change my inevitable death than I can to change the seasons or the inexorable march around the sun the earth makes, and I don't worry about it getting cold in the winter or the days growing long in summer.
And my life is otherwise completely good. I need to get off my ass more for my schoolwork, but that isn't inexorably soul-crushing. My financial situation sucks, but, eh, it's just money. It does handy things, otherwise, it doesn't appeal that much to me. I'd rather have cool and interesting things, like computers and books, rather than a pile of cash. Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be lacking both for a while. At least I'm used to spartan living conditions and don't mind bland, repetitive meals (mm-mmm, ramen!).
That's about it, really. Except for shit that is, more or less, philosophically absurd, my life is going fine. I can't really brook any complaints about my existence, as it is not an unending stream of agony and doom (well, in a certain sense it is, but, not in all of them).
As I can't really add much, I'm going to end this. Even though it only ate up about 20 minutes of my time at work. Which, I suppose, does make me quite sad. I really need something better to do with my time during my fucking shifts. D: