[fic] and life goes on
and life goes on
(The Hunger Games | Haymitch/Maysilee)
Darling, we all drown in this world.
-
He is the sadist. He is the masochist.
Otherwise, he muses, he wouldn’t do this to himself. Drown. Burn. The alcohol leaves a glorious trail down his throat. It knocks him out, consumes him - he forgets.
He forgets Maysilee Donner. He forgets the screams, the red, the pain. Because somewhere, sometime, somehow, she leaves a mark on him.
He forgets the Games. Because, really, he knows the truth. He never won.
So he drinks, consumes himself, forgets himself.
And so life goes on.
-
But it comes back. Twenty-four years later, when he's given up on life, on death.
It reveals his weakness, his failure, tinged with revenge. Katniss is like him, really, without the weakness. She does what he fails. She saves Peeta. And most of all, why he hates her, she doesn't fall in love.
This isn't a fairytale.
This doesn't have a happily-ever-after.
Haymitch simply drinks.
-
Death does something. It teases you, invites you in, then spits you out. Haymitch knows. He's been drowning, and he’s too damn smart to save himself. He saved himself once.
But he should have saved her instead.
Sometimes it comes back to him, with so much clarity he cannot breathe. The curve of her neck, the gold in her hair. He's learnt what it meant to depend on someone absolutely.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise how his life turned out. Because that's the problem with depending on someone. When they go, you cannot go on. You don't know how.
But Haymitch has his drink.
And so life goes on.
-
Notes: This is more of a drabble, because I wanted to practise writing for my Finnick/Annie story. Haven't written fanfiction in ages, not since Slumdog for school. I wrote this really quickly after talking to stolen_skylines so it's not perfect, but I like it :) In parts.
(The Hunger Games | Haymitch/Maysilee)
Darling, we all drown in this world.
-
He is the sadist. He is the masochist.
Otherwise, he muses, he wouldn’t do this to himself. Drown. Burn. The alcohol leaves a glorious trail down his throat. It knocks him out, consumes him - he forgets.
He forgets Maysilee Donner. He forgets the screams, the red, the pain. Because somewhere, sometime, somehow, she leaves a mark on him.
He forgets the Games. Because, really, he knows the truth. He never won.
So he drinks, consumes himself, forgets himself.
And so life goes on.
-
But it comes back. Twenty-four years later, when he's given up on life, on death.
It reveals his weakness, his failure, tinged with revenge. Katniss is like him, really, without the weakness. She does what he fails. She saves Peeta. And most of all, why he hates her, she doesn't fall in love.
This isn't a fairytale.
This doesn't have a happily-ever-after.
Haymitch simply drinks.
-
Death does something. It teases you, invites you in, then spits you out. Haymitch knows. He's been drowning, and he’s too damn smart to save himself. He saved himself once.
But he should have saved her instead.
Sometimes it comes back to him, with so much clarity he cannot breathe. The curve of her neck, the gold in her hair. He's learnt what it meant to depend on someone absolutely.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise how his life turned out. Because that's the problem with depending on someone. When they go, you cannot go on. You don't know how.
But Haymitch has his drink.
And so life goes on.
-
Notes: This is more of a drabble, because I wanted to practise writing for my Finnick/Annie story. Haven't written fanfiction in ages, not since Slumdog for school. I wrote this really quickly after talking to stolen_skylines so it's not perfect, but I like it :) In parts.