find the power
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
--Rainer Maria Rilke
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow; you’re only a day away. Spring Break here we come!
I can’t help but feel confused/muddled. It’s as if life is going on, yet I’m just characteristically going through the things that have to be done. There haven’t been any dynamics off late. I also haven’t really “stopped to smell the roses” so to speak. It seems as if I’m not doing all the things I could be doing, or using my time prolifically. Maybe if I did, I would feel more accomplished when I conclude my day.
So Tuesday was our orchestra concert, and it was atrociously long. I had to spend the whole school day playing with the feeder schools. I think the only good thing about it was the Dobson chamber orchestra. So anyways, now we’re doing ensembles in orchestra. I like the quartet I’m in, and I think it will turn out well. I need to practice my violin! Affirmation: I will practice every day during spring break. I appear to have also put my quest for the perfect violin on recess, but I will resume that process shortly.
Third quarter is over…who would’ve thought this would come so soon. Actually, it seems about time. I really can’t wait to move on, although I do want to get everything I can possibly get out of the rest of the year. I don’t know…everything about this year seems monotonous in a way.
Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I have so many great friends, yet I can’t even tell one person everything that’s on my mind. It becomes such a huge burden to keep everything inside. All the dreams I have, my wishes and desires, my hopes, my worries, my problems…they are all kept to myself. I know it’s erroneous to say that I kind of want to be in that mode where I am actually trying...that is trying to please/impress someone. Now I’m at the point where I really don’t care what other people think about me, and I am just myself. Well, I don’t always portray my inner self; however, I don’t consciously try to be somebody I’m not.
I recently watched Raise Your Voice, and I really liked that movie. Call me fanatical, but I like those kinds of storylines. I don’t know, but something about it really touched me.
I really would like to resolve to assiduously remind myself that I must constantly improve myself, and take the time to fix my mistakes. As tedious as it seems, it is a necessary measure I must take. Oh it seems like a long time since I’ve had the clarity of mind that I cannot seem to find these days. Ah, but that is life.
“We live in such a rapid age that we expect a quick fix for anything that goes wrong. It seems we live in an age if childish impatience. However, there is an area of your life where you truly need to implement a quick fix. In this area of your life, you need a quick fix all the time, every time. The area of your life where you need a quick fix is the area of mistakes. When you make a mistake, fix it quick. The longer you go before attempting to fix the mistake, the longer it will take to fix. As you put off fixing a mistake, you begin to rationalize that it does not need fixing. You begin to tell yourself the mistake does not need fixing. Perhaps you make the mistake again and you tell yourself the mistake is no big deal, that you are only human, that no one cares, or that the mistake is not important. People are creatures of habit. When you make a mistake two or three times, you are likely to keep making the mistake again and again, until the mistake is a part of your life. So, when you make a mistake, fix it quick. If the mistake involves another person or persons, apologize, seek their forgiveness, and seek the Lord's forgiveness.”-Patrick Kelly
http://hinduism.about.com/library/weekly/aa060902a.htm Interesting article