What you Should know about me.
I am going to stay in Dartmouth for the next two years. It's a long story about why I decided to stay, but I'm going to. I'm not going to regret it either because I need to be done with regret. I need to let go of the past and just live in the moment, as corny as that is. I am self-conscious about myseelf and always second guess things. I need to grow up and start living. I need to be able to be mature about some things and just take them as they come. I need to start being able to deal with change. Change has always been something that has bothered me because I like consistancy, I feel like I need consistancy to count on.
There aren't many things that I know that I can count on anymore. I always relied on false security. I used to think that things are okay, and I know that isn't always the case. The biggest example of that is my family. I know that I love them, it's just hard realizing that the relationships that we used to have aren't there anymore. My cousins and I used to be close because we didn't see the turmoil that was going on within our family. That is when I got used to a false sense of happiness and security. I started to feel that slip away when I started seeing what was going on. I fit the pieces together and saw their true colors. I finally saw what my family was going through. I felt rage and sadness. I knew that my family was never going to be the same. I knew the fake pleasantries were going to come to an end.
Now I have to let go of the past and realize that I need to concentrate on my future. I need to concentrate on the people that I love to have in my life. There is no need to waste time and pain on people who will never come around. I need to accept that the only thing that is constant is change.
p.s. I think I'm in love.
There aren't many things that I know that I can count on anymore. I always relied on false security. I used to think that things are okay, and I know that isn't always the case. The biggest example of that is my family. I know that I love them, it's just hard realizing that the relationships that we used to have aren't there anymore. My cousins and I used to be close because we didn't see the turmoil that was going on within our family. That is when I got used to a false sense of happiness and security. I started to feel that slip away when I started seeing what was going on. I fit the pieces together and saw their true colors. I finally saw what my family was going through. I felt rage and sadness. I knew that my family was never going to be the same. I knew the fake pleasantries were going to come to an end.
Now I have to let go of the past and realize that I need to concentrate on my future. I need to concentrate on the people that I love to have in my life. There is no need to waste time and pain on people who will never come around. I need to accept that the only thing that is constant is change.
p.s. I think I'm in love.