In the ARRR-MEEEE
How many times have I found myself contemplating enlistment? Too many times if you ask my Seester. It's all this newfound free-time following the total shutdown of my computer. I think this is why I try to occupy my time with the computer because I get all sorts of crazy thoughts that I can't seem to keep private; case-in-point: this journal entry. It's like I surge with all these thoughts of getting myself resocialized, beat up, bruised, and schooled [while in the military]. I am so listless; bored. Yeah, I know you'll be telling me: Get a job! or Get a job!!!!, but that's not what I am looking for. It sounds silly, really, but I have this feeling of uncapped energy and potential that normal, everyday life experiences can't even touch. I am, or at least can be, quite a quixotic person; I know that about me. So many projects started and never finished; classes enrolled for, but usually dropped; promises made and naturally broken. Why is it, then, that these seemingly absurd thoughts re-enter my realm of contemplation. There just has to be something to it; I know there just has to be... I am reading a very fascinating article that I found while searching for how to survive Army training (it was the first hit, actually). It's really in-depth with various embedded articles and testimonials. One of the things I read really stood out to me because I feel that some how, some way, I want to run faster, push harder, and scream louder. But I don't know how to do that, so naturally this 'all' seems enticing -treacherously enticing. I came close once. I don't know if some of y'all know this, but I got as far as walking into the Navy recruiting office off Stockdale, taking the ASVAB, and... well, I just had DeVry flashbacks, so I chickened out... Regardless of the flashbacks, I am still a chicken. Yes, I am. I just want to GRAB life by the collar, tear-streaked, with my adrenalin at
full-throttle and tell it: Go on, challenge me some more! ...But it won't unless I am willing to make sacrifices and leaps of faith. I don't know what this means or where I will go from here, but man... Let me tell you.
full-throttle and tell it: Go on, challenge me some more! ...But it won't unless I am willing to make sacrifices and leaps of faith. I don't know what this means or where I will go from here, but man... Let me tell you.