prom part one
HOKAY. prom. I'll go into it now. As much as the end of the night might suggest, it was not a shitty occasion and I had plenty of fun, only it happened to be riddled with a few bad decisions on my part.
It started out at about 4 pm. I'm running around in pantyhose and high heel and little else (save yourself and your eyes, don't try to imagine it) and Eber finally calls me back (I'd been frantically trying to get in touch with him because I forgot what time he said they would pick me up and I didn't think to read old aim logs) and says "LOL WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU AN HOUR EARLIER THAN YOU WERE PREPARED FOR." more or less. so im like AGH and continue getting ready (truth be told I started earlier in case of such a situation so I wasn't in any real hurry)
Get all prettied up. Mom comes into the bathroom and says "When are they getting here?" and I reply "In about an hour." She nods. She pauses. She says "They'll want to come in, won't they?" and I nodded grimly, knowing where she was going with this. She proceedd to hurry out of the bathroom and scream at alia and alex TO START CLEANING THE FUCK UP. whistle while you work, etc etc. poor kids went from lazy chitlins to professional maids in 60 seconds.
that's actually mostly funny because eber had warned me a day prior that his mom would probably critisize my house no matter what, so I didn't inform mom of this because I didn't want to cause undue stress when things were inevitable.
Eber and the Amazing Mexican Clan get to the house and we are able to spare ourselves the trauma of having missus Pe*n with a squiggle*a come in and witness our disarray (mom apologized for the messiness of the outside anyway, which strikes me as logical as people who sweep dirt but whatever).
Of course my Big Day was always envisioned with a limo as a ride, possibly with a group of friends (where I would come up with these friends was something I tried not to dwell too much on). But Eber informed me that the best possible choice was to allow both of his parents and his three young siblings to all shove into the van to take us to and from the venue. Eber was upset when he informed me of this and even used the phrase "BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING MEXICANS" a few times. I, however, was more than thrilled. I like his siblings and I figured it would make for a good story (I hope it did, cause that last paragraph was the fabled Quirky Story About The Ride To Prom that I've been cooking up, so, there you go.) And for the record, their mexican van isn't nearly as humiliating as our lumbering aqua retard mobile with the smiley face on it.
I told mom and dad about the van situation and - I'm sorry Eber, I will admit this now - Dad offered and insisted that he get us a limo for the night. So, if you were me and you had to choose between a father willing to spend a billion dollars on a limo for you and your gheydate and your gheydate's entire family taking you to prom, which would you pick? Now, remember, I said if you were me. Obviously, I chose the ebermobile.
It was predictably awesome. We took some pictures outside of my house which basically involved pretending we were his sibling's parents.
SO BLAH BLAH BLAH WE HAVE PIZZA AT EBERS HOUSE, I TRY HAM AND PINEAPPLE PIZZA FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVERYTHING IS YUMMY AT GREAT.
now we're at the venue (discovery place, for the record) and we're like the second couple there (thats not counting the creepy guy who was alone. we tried to be nice to him but he was sort of odd). and my feet hurt already (and they still do, the poor gnarled things).
and then... OH NO MY SLEEPING MEDICATION IS WORKING. guess I'll leave the rest for tomorrow. So, stay tuned for Mr Phillip not shutting the fuck up, Taylor and his friend Maddie crashing our prom (upon our behest, of course), and a bunch of stuffed bears and otters. also a pile of vomit.
It started out at about 4 pm. I'm running around in pantyhose and high heel and little else (save yourself and your eyes, don't try to imagine it) and Eber finally calls me back (I'd been frantically trying to get in touch with him because I forgot what time he said they would pick me up and I didn't think to read old aim logs) and says "LOL WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU AN HOUR EARLIER THAN YOU WERE PREPARED FOR." more or less. so im like AGH and continue getting ready (truth be told I started earlier in case of such a situation so I wasn't in any real hurry)
Get all prettied up. Mom comes into the bathroom and says "When are they getting here?" and I reply "In about an hour." She nods. She pauses. She says "They'll want to come in, won't they?" and I nodded grimly, knowing where she was going with this. She proceedd to hurry out of the bathroom and scream at alia and alex TO START CLEANING THE FUCK UP. whistle while you work, etc etc. poor kids went from lazy chitlins to professional maids in 60 seconds.
that's actually mostly funny because eber had warned me a day prior that his mom would probably critisize my house no matter what, so I didn't inform mom of this because I didn't want to cause undue stress when things were inevitable.
Eber and the Amazing Mexican Clan get to the house and we are able to spare ourselves the trauma of having missus Pe*n with a squiggle*a come in and witness our disarray (mom apologized for the messiness of the outside anyway, which strikes me as logical as people who sweep dirt but whatever).
Of course my Big Day was always envisioned with a limo as a ride, possibly with a group of friends (where I would come up with these friends was something I tried not to dwell too much on). But Eber informed me that the best possible choice was to allow both of his parents and his three young siblings to all shove into the van to take us to and from the venue. Eber was upset when he informed me of this and even used the phrase "BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING MEXICANS" a few times. I, however, was more than thrilled. I like his siblings and I figured it would make for a good story (I hope it did, cause that last paragraph was the fabled Quirky Story About The Ride To Prom that I've been cooking up, so, there you go.) And for the record, their mexican van isn't nearly as humiliating as our lumbering aqua retard mobile with the smiley face on it.
I told mom and dad about the van situation and - I'm sorry Eber, I will admit this now - Dad offered and insisted that he get us a limo for the night. So, if you were me and you had to choose between a father willing to spend a billion dollars on a limo for you and your gheydate and your gheydate's entire family taking you to prom, which would you pick? Now, remember, I said if you were me. Obviously, I chose the ebermobile.
It was predictably awesome. We took some pictures outside of my house which basically involved pretending we were his sibling's parents.
SO BLAH BLAH BLAH WE HAVE PIZZA AT EBERS HOUSE, I TRY HAM AND PINEAPPLE PIZZA FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVERYTHING IS YUMMY AT GREAT.
now we're at the venue (discovery place, for the record) and we're like the second couple there (thats not counting the creepy guy who was alone. we tried to be nice to him but he was sort of odd). and my feet hurt already (and they still do, the poor gnarled things).
and then... OH NO MY SLEEPING MEDICATION IS WORKING. guess I'll leave the rest for tomorrow. So, stay tuned for Mr Phillip not shutting the fuck up, Taylor and his friend Maddie crashing our prom (upon our behest, of course), and a bunch of stuffed bears and otters. also a pile of vomit.