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[akavertigo]

"Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands." -Linda Hogan

Comments

[anonymous]

Holy butts, you're still on LJ. I (Davin) had assumed you'd been eaten by bears and/or moose. I assume this about most people, and I am usually right. I think it is very rude of you to throw off my predictions.

[akavertigo]

I'm too tough for bear and too margarine based for moose. Barring an influx of coyotes with low standards, I shall live forever.

[anonymous]

Most coyotes have low standards. They're nature's hobo. You should be careful near lightly wooded areas and landfills.

[akavertigo]

By that logic...I'm nature's discarded pizza box: a surprising source of calcium! (I haven't had milk in about three years; nobody knows what my bones are made up of this point, though sarcasm and impotent rage are top contenders.)

[anonymous]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Last I checked you were a very attractive pizza box, worthy of a place on a hoarder's mantle.

[akavertigo]

Ah, but that was before the unfortunate cheese shortage of '11.

[anonymous]

Those were dark days. We all had to do things we weren't proud of.

[akavertigo]

One day the wounds shall heal. One day, in my dreams, the cows will...stop.

[anonymous]

All this bantering is wearing me out. Aren't you seduced yet?

[akavertigo]

I'm at work. There is no possible seduction/temptation/joy at work. There is only the vague possibly of distraction by a means other than stapling my eye to a three ton German motor.

[anonymous]

I used to work night shifts at Target, I'm familiar with the "No smiling" rule. If you're experiencing anything like a positive emotion it means your stealing from the company. Also, I hear eye piercings are all the rage now.

[akavertigo]

To be fair, coming into work while loaded with ineffective painkillers was only the third smartest thing I've done this week. (Fact: at one point I was shouting over the cubicle wall about hand puppets. I don't remember why.

[anonymous]

Did a clan of renegade hand-puppets murder your family and steal their magic sword? Because that would be a good reason to yell about them.

[akavertigo]

That would explain my longstanding issues with mittens.

[anonymous]

Are you saying all hand-adornments look the same to you? Because that's racist.

[akavertigo]

I'm highly prejudiced against thumbs.