(no subject)
i dont know what it is, why it is. why people have so much against me. why i cant go out and have fun without hearing shit and rumors about it. why i feel...out of place. im constantly being told what i do wrong, and really, i dont mean to do those things. like being so fucking flirtatious. ok? im sorry if im a flirt, im just like that. it's kind of...part of my personality, my 'friendly flirtation' i guess. and im sorry if being this way has hurt or offended anyone. i dont mean wrong by it, and most of the time, i dont even notice myself being so, for it so natural to me.
ignoring. i've been told i ignore people. i guess i never realized i did this because i believed that ignoring was something you purposely do. i never wanted to ignore anyone. in my mind, i just thought i could go up to someone and start a convo with them, or if someone is having a convo with someone else and i dont know anything about it, or just not interested, i can walk away and talk to someone else. maybe i was wrong, but i still dont see how it is so. but again, i am sorry to anyone i may have ignored.
Dropping friends. i found myself blaming others instead of myself for why we werent as good as friends as we were before. ive already talked to these people about this and am working on improving the situations. i dont want to lose my friends, especially those i held so close before.
im just, so tired of being sad. im tired of hearing things that people are always saying about me. i hate knowing that so many people think so badly of me, and that i have not been able to do a thing about it. it hurts going to school and feeling the way i do. am i over exaggerating? am i taking things too seriously? ...am i still doing things wrong? :/
theres so much more i want to say, wish i could say. i dont even know if anyone will even understand what i have said to this point. if anyone will even care to hear it...
ignoring. i've been told i ignore people. i guess i never realized i did this because i believed that ignoring was something you purposely do. i never wanted to ignore anyone. in my mind, i just thought i could go up to someone and start a convo with them, or if someone is having a convo with someone else and i dont know anything about it, or just not interested, i can walk away and talk to someone else. maybe i was wrong, but i still dont see how it is so. but again, i am sorry to anyone i may have ignored.
Dropping friends. i found myself blaming others instead of myself for why we werent as good as friends as we were before. ive already talked to these people about this and am working on improving the situations. i dont want to lose my friends, especially those i held so close before.
im just, so tired of being sad. im tired of hearing things that people are always saying about me. i hate knowing that so many people think so badly of me, and that i have not been able to do a thing about it. it hurts going to school and feeling the way i do. am i over exaggerating? am i taking things too seriously? ...am i still doing things wrong? :/
theres so much more i want to say, wish i could say. i dont even know if anyone will even understand what i have said to this point. if anyone will even care to hear it...