This here post be complaining...
...about my brother. Those who have been friends with me on LJ for a while have heard about him before. I don't know how to describe him except he makes me go HULK! SMASH! almost every time he contacts me.
TW on this post for verbal abuse.
Naturally I try to keep contact at a minimum.
So. In recent months... maybe even a year or so, he's actually been decent. I've liked that. Maybe it helped that he got his medicine in order because - full disclosure - my brother is extremely unwell, has a host of MIs and I try to take that into consideration whenever he gets to me, I really do.
Yet there's something about him that makes me about nine years old again.
So, what did he do this time, you ask? The truth is, not much. It was his birthday on the 21st. He turned 27. I wrote him a congratulation on facebook. He'd had my father invite us to a birthday party here this weekend on the 28th, but we couldn't go because the invitation was rather late (something I've told my family for years is a real fucking problem since we actually do have a life and don't sit around waiting for their invitations - a bit of a heads up would be good!) and we had prior engagements.
He'd then apparently asked my mother if she could convince me to go but, eh, even she knew better when we already had plans.
Now you may wonder why a 27-year-old is asking my parents to talk to me. Well, it kind of beats me too. I try to respond to his text messages and facebook messages. Once in a while I slip, but then, you know, he can bug me about a reply and that won't piss me off. I will not, however, will not answer the phone if he calls. It goes beyond the anxiety that makes it hard for me to answer the phone since he's family and thus doesn't trigger it. No, I simply refuse and have refused to talk to him on the phone for what... I don't even know how long now. Seven years? Maybe eight? Maybe a little less? I really don't know. Since before Kupo was even a glint in his father's eyes is all I know.
The reason is that he will call at inopportune times - just about any time that suits him - and he will literally expect me to talk to him for hours. If I get curt with him or refuse to discuss some really obscure concept or whether those who did/do XYZ have this or that MI that he either does or does not have himself, he will get extremely nasty. Misogynist slurs will abound as will all kinds of accusations about how I am the worst, most evil bitch to ever tread this earth and how he doesn't understand what Maz is doing with me etc. And then he will begin to diagnose me. He will tell me about all the MIs I'm sure to have, right from being a psychopath down to having a narcissistic disorder. And if I hang up - or even if I don't - he will then begin calling family members and spreading all kinds of stories about me.
No, this didn't happen every single time, but it happened enough times that in the end I said enough. No more calls, ever. He can write and I may answer if he's being civil, but I am never talking to him on the phone again, because that's where he's at his nastiest. It was really difficult to make this stand, too, because basically everyone around me kept guilting me back into taking his calls with ~but he's sick~ and ~buuut he's so much improved now!~ and ~what about giving the poor guy a chance~ - you know, your basic abuser apologia. In the end, I did manage to do it, though, and I'm fucking never going back.
So this complaint?
Well, his birthday was as I said on the 21st. Here on the 30th I got a text from him. "I had hoped you would call 3 minutes on my birthday..."
FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU STILL THINK YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAIL ME TO COME BACK INTO YOUR ABUSIVE CYCLE, YOU SPOILED LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! JUST... FUCK YOU!!!
TW on this post for verbal abuse.
Naturally I try to keep contact at a minimum.
So. In recent months... maybe even a year or so, he's actually been decent. I've liked that. Maybe it helped that he got his medicine in order because - full disclosure - my brother is extremely unwell, has a host of MIs and I try to take that into consideration whenever he gets to me, I really do.
Yet there's something about him that makes me about nine years old again.
So, what did he do this time, you ask? The truth is, not much. It was his birthday on the 21st. He turned 27. I wrote him a congratulation on facebook. He'd had my father invite us to a birthday party here this weekend on the 28th, but we couldn't go because the invitation was rather late (something I've told my family for years is a real fucking problem since we actually do have a life and don't sit around waiting for their invitations - a bit of a heads up would be good!) and we had prior engagements.
He'd then apparently asked my mother if she could convince me to go but, eh, even she knew better when we already had plans.
Now you may wonder why a 27-year-old is asking my parents to talk to me. Well, it kind of beats me too. I try to respond to his text messages and facebook messages. Once in a while I slip, but then, you know, he can bug me about a reply and that won't piss me off. I will not, however, will not answer the phone if he calls. It goes beyond the anxiety that makes it hard for me to answer the phone since he's family and thus doesn't trigger it. No, I simply refuse and have refused to talk to him on the phone for what... I don't even know how long now. Seven years? Maybe eight? Maybe a little less? I really don't know. Since before Kupo was even a glint in his father's eyes is all I know.
The reason is that he will call at inopportune times - just about any time that suits him - and he will literally expect me to talk to him for hours. If I get curt with him or refuse to discuss some really obscure concept or whether those who did/do XYZ have this or that MI that he either does or does not have himself, he will get extremely nasty. Misogynist slurs will abound as will all kinds of accusations about how I am the worst, most evil bitch to ever tread this earth and how he doesn't understand what Maz is doing with me etc. And then he will begin to diagnose me. He will tell me about all the MIs I'm sure to have, right from being a psychopath down to having a narcissistic disorder. And if I hang up - or even if I don't - he will then begin calling family members and spreading all kinds of stories about me.
No, this didn't happen every single time, but it happened enough times that in the end I said enough. No more calls, ever. He can write and I may answer if he's being civil, but I am never talking to him on the phone again, because that's where he's at his nastiest. It was really difficult to make this stand, too, because basically everyone around me kept guilting me back into taking his calls with ~but he's sick~ and ~buuut he's so much improved now!~ and ~what about giving the poor guy a chance~ - you know, your basic abuser apologia. In the end, I did manage to do it, though, and I'm fucking never going back.
So this complaint?
Well, his birthday was as I said on the 21st. Here on the 30th I got a text from him. "I had hoped you would call 3 minutes on my birthday..."
FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU STILL THINK YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAIL ME TO COME BACK INTO YOUR ABUSIVE CYCLE, YOU SPOILED LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! JUST... FUCK YOU!!!