oh bother....
it's been a damn month to the day since i wrote in here last. good grief! what's my problem??? that was a rhetorical question btw....lol
*sigh* i haven't been writing in here possibly as i've been really busy at work and devestated at having to return from my lovely holiday abroad. it was quite sad having to leave to be honest. i didn't quite expect to be so overcome with sadness. i'm sure most of it had to do with the fact that i was utterly and completely happy for two solid weeks and realized i'd have to come home and be alone again. boo, hiss for that!!!
it's funny really. in a sick sad kinda way. i never ever expected to become so attached to someone ever. i guess it's not such a bad thing really. only awful that we hardly ever see each other. *sigh*
i think my best friend is slightly appalled by the whole matter. but i knew she would be. jon's not the type of guy i usually go for and she's expressed her opinion on younger men to me quite often. to which my reply is usually...what the hell do you know about it??? lol
i also find it quite funny that i've finally realized it's not what a person looks like or anything like that, but what they are inside that really matters. hmmmm....only took 30 years for that to come about! lol i just know he makes me tremendously happy and that's all that matters to me. although, don't get me wrong...i think jon is very cute and has a wonderful smile and the most lovely blue eyes. and he looks at me as if i am the only person in the whole world that matters. *sigh*
i can't possibly begin to explain the transformation i've went through in the last few months. it's been crazy! it's a whole hell of allot of work keeping things together. i mean, it's been sort of a nightmare for me to even get to the point where i'm completely open with him. it's so difficult to bare your soul to someone and be comfortable enough with yourself to do so. and i can't thank the heavens enough for bringing him into my life. strange as it seems, i think maybe he's exactly what i've been searching endlessly and dreaming for. his patience and understanding of my little quirks and insecurities has been amazing and awe inspiring. i think he should be in line for sainthood for putting up with me and my neurotic behavior! lol
and i miss him terribly. *moan* it's just so damned difficult!!!! and i've just noticed this whole rant has been about him. hmmmm....it's become painfully obvious to me that i'm hopeless and should be put out of my misery. lol
*sigh* i haven't been writing in here possibly as i've been really busy at work and devestated at having to return from my lovely holiday abroad. it was quite sad having to leave to be honest. i didn't quite expect to be so overcome with sadness. i'm sure most of it had to do with the fact that i was utterly and completely happy for two solid weeks and realized i'd have to come home and be alone again. boo, hiss for that!!!
it's funny really. in a sick sad kinda way. i never ever expected to become so attached to someone ever. i guess it's not such a bad thing really. only awful that we hardly ever see each other. *sigh*
i think my best friend is slightly appalled by the whole matter. but i knew she would be. jon's not the type of guy i usually go for and she's expressed her opinion on younger men to me quite often. to which my reply is usually...what the hell do you know about it??? lol
i also find it quite funny that i've finally realized it's not what a person looks like or anything like that, but what they are inside that really matters. hmmmm....only took 30 years for that to come about! lol i just know he makes me tremendously happy and that's all that matters to me. although, don't get me wrong...i think jon is very cute and has a wonderful smile and the most lovely blue eyes. and he looks at me as if i am the only person in the whole world that matters. *sigh*
i can't possibly begin to explain the transformation i've went through in the last few months. it's been crazy! it's a whole hell of allot of work keeping things together. i mean, it's been sort of a nightmare for me to even get to the point where i'm completely open with him. it's so difficult to bare your soul to someone and be comfortable enough with yourself to do so. and i can't thank the heavens enough for bringing him into my life. strange as it seems, i think maybe he's exactly what i've been searching endlessly and dreaming for. his patience and understanding of my little quirks and insecurities has been amazing and awe inspiring. i think he should be in line for sainthood for putting up with me and my neurotic behavior! lol
and i miss him terribly. *moan* it's just so damned difficult!!!! and i've just noticed this whole rant has been about him. hmmmm....it's become painfully obvious to me that i'm hopeless and should be put out of my misery. lol