What a sad story
What a depressing place this is. Page after page of terrible things. How did I survive all that? And who was that girl?? Good god, I was so unhappy for so long. Reading back I can't understand why I allowed some of the things to happen that I did. I was in Bowling Green for a month before I was miserable. Why did I stay??
I always get into a kick where I want to go back and read everything or read a certain time period just to remind myself where I came from. This time it was my relationship with Buster. My memories of him are almost nonexistent. I remember the relationship, I remember what happened, I remember key events in perfect clarity. But him? Not so much. Kind of odd, really. And why didn't we take any pictures? Irrelevant.
That relationship was terrible. Founded in lies and deception. What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all?
It doesn't matter. I suppose I've done a lot of growing up in the last 5 years. I'm an adult now, with a real relationship. One where we don't fight and he doesn't make me feel like a completely inadequate piece of shit that's only good for one thing. A relationship where we're both responsible and I'm happy. Hard to believe it's been almost 3 years now. Anything before him just seems... unreal. So far away that it must not have happened.
This was my very first internet blog and all it makes me see is until now I had never actually been happy. I had good days, good months even, but wow. Somehow I made it through that depressing mess and I came out on top. How many people can say that?
I always get into a kick where I want to go back and read everything or read a certain time period just to remind myself where I came from. This time it was my relationship with Buster. My memories of him are almost nonexistent. I remember the relationship, I remember what happened, I remember key events in perfect clarity. But him? Not so much. Kind of odd, really. And why didn't we take any pictures? Irrelevant.
That relationship was terrible. Founded in lies and deception. What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all?
It doesn't matter. I suppose I've done a lot of growing up in the last 5 years. I'm an adult now, with a real relationship. One where we don't fight and he doesn't make me feel like a completely inadequate piece of shit that's only good for one thing. A relationship where we're both responsible and I'm happy. Hard to believe it's been almost 3 years now. Anything before him just seems... unreal. So far away that it must not have happened.
This was my very first internet blog and all it makes me see is until now I had never actually been happy. I had good days, good months even, but wow. Somehow I made it through that depressing mess and I came out on top. How many people can say that?