Short Guiding Light fic - No Doubt 1/2
No Doubt
By Gin
Blake’s words Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now echoed through Olivia’s head as she searched the crowd at the barbecue. Spotting the person she wanted, Olivia walked directly up to Phillip. “I need you to watch Emma for a while. I have something I need to do.”
“Sure.” Phillip was totally agreeable to that, and thought he knew what Olivia needed to do since Natalia wasn’t here yet and he knew the other woman was supposed to have arrived before the games began.
She glanced over where Rafe and Emma were shooting each other with water guns and decided against saying bye. That would only bring up questions she wasn’t prepared to answer at the moment.
Swallowing against the sick feeling in her stomach, the words once again floated through her head. Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now. Anger began to replace the heart pounding, mind blanking terror those words evoked. Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now. Something had happened, something Blake knew but wouldn’t tell. Olivia sat in her car for a moment, then clenched her teeth. “Bullshit!” She turned the key in the ignition and growled. “I don’t care if she wants to see me or not, Ms. Rivera has some explaining to do! And I’m not going to sit around waiting for it.” A small scoffing sound escaped her lips. “No more waiting Natalia! Isn’t that what we decided?”
She pulled out of her parking spot and headed out to find the absent woman. “No more waiting.”
-------------------
Natalia sat on the bench at the train station, her mind whirling at the overwhelming changes her life was about to take. She knew there were people bustling in the station, back and forth in front of her, trains were announced arriving and departing… she exhaled softly and the word arriving drifted through her mind, her hand automatically went to her stomach and she swallowed against the sick feeling rising in the back of her throat, her mind once again whirling with possibilities and she began to pray, her hand automatically moving up from her stomach, wrapping around the cross hanging from her neck. Dear Lord, I know I’ve messed everything up and I could really use a little guidance right now. She was so lost in prayer, she didn’t even notice when someone sat down beside her, at least not until they spoke.
“What troubles you child?”
Looking up, Natalia blinked at the figure next to her, the woman was smiling encouragingly, Natalia responded in kind, and felt like she could breathe. Prayers were answered, she’d known that in her heart all along and addressed the woman sitting next to her. “Sister?”
“Mmmm…” The kind smile never faltered and the woman’s blue eyes now twinkled in amusement. “That is usually what wearing a habit indicates.” She saw the younger woman’s grip on the cross. “Were you praying?” Now the blue eyes widened. “I apologize, I did not mean to interrupt…” She began to rise when Natalia held out a hand, almost but not quite touching her arm.
“No, please, don’t go. I was praying for guidance. I was praying for you.” She sent a fast thought to her deity. Oh thank you for being so quick about it this time.
Desperation in the brunette’s voice caused the nun to retake her seat and she nodded. “The Lord does seem to work in mysterious ways.”
Natalia murmured almost sarcastically. “You have no idea.” In her head she could hear Olivia’s voice echo the sentiment, just the thought of Olivia brought a lump in her throat and she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. What could she possibly say to Olivia, how would she even begin to talk about….this?
“Tears?” The sister used the sleeve of her robe to wipe away the moisture on Natalia’s cheek. “Perhaps talking about the issue would help?”
Natalia looked around and realized the train she was waiting on wouldn’t arrive at the station for a while and they were nearly alone in the large waiting area. She began to speak, the words tumbling out of her. She told the Sister everything… while carefully not mentioning Olivia’s name or gender, then waited holding her breath for a response until she started to see spots forming in front of her eyes and forced herself to breathe.
“That is quite a story, my child.” Kind blue eyes settled on Natalia’s watery dark ones. “But, you didn’t explain why you are here.”
“Father Ray suggested a retreat, he said going to a place of peace to contemplate the situation, might let me figure things out easier.”
The Sister nodded slightly. “I guess that sounds reasonable.”
“You guess?” Natalia was surprised the Sister wasn’t backing up Father Ray’s advice.
“Can I ask you a question?” The nun turned in her seat to face the troubled woman. “What exactly would Father Ray know about being pregnant, or being in love?”
“Uh…” Natalia opened her mouth, then closed it. Several times she repeated the action and began to feel like a fish until she finally found her voice. “He’s a Father. Doesn’t he know everything?”
“Definitely not.” The Sister was outraged at the young woman’s naivety. “They are people, flawed and fallible just like the rest of us.” Taking a deep breath, the Sister spoke quietly. “May I ask another question?”
“Of course.”
“What… is her name?”
Confused for a moment, Natalia seemed to brighten with realization and placed her hand over her tummy where the baby lay just beneath. “I don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl.”
The Nun smiled a tiny smile and shook her head. “No, not the baby. I mean, what is the name of the woman you are in love with.”
Natalia blushed deeply and spoke nervously. “Um... what?”
“That is the reason for your confusion yes? The conflict you have within yourself in regards to the church’s stance on same-sex partners versus the way you feel when you look at… her.” The Sister’s eyes closed as she uttered the pronoun and remained closed slightly longer than was strictly necessary. She only opened them when Natalia spoke softly.
“Olivia.” Just saying the name stabbed at her heart. “How did you…”
“If the person you were in love with was a man, Father Ray’s advice would have been different.”
“How so?” Now Natalia turned to face the Sister.
“He would have told you to tell him, the man that you love, about the pregnancy. He would have told you to discuss it openly and honestly with both the one you love and the father of your child. He would have encouraged dialogue between the three of you.” The Sister held up her hand as Natalia began to interrupt, the ‘why’ question practically written on her lips. “Since he encouraged you to leave town, encouraged you to not speak to Olivia about this issue, possibly told you to inform the baby’s father but not talk to the person you claim to love, Father Ray seems to be putting a wedge between you and the woman you say you love. What I’m not sure of is, why.”
“It doesn’t seem like something Father Ray would do. He’s always been very kind to me, helping me through some situation or other. He was a pillar of support for me when Rafe was in prison and he often drops by the house for coffee or sometimes even a beer. I think I’m the first person he turns to when the church is having an event that involves baking.”
The sister’s lips twitched and she was very careful with her next statement. “Perhaps he is… more attached to you than either of you realize or that he wants, or can, admit.”
“What are you saying?”
“Perhaps Father Ray would rather see you in a traditional relationship, with a man, than in one that is as forbidden as the one he wants to be in, with you.”
Natalia began to feel like a fish again. “I can’t believe that.”
“If it’s true it’s true whether you believe it or not.” The sister held up her hand, “I’m not saying it’s true, it’s just a thought I had.”
Speaking absently, Natalia almost whispered. “Olivia pushed me toward marrying… Frank too. She thought it was what would make me happy.”
“But it hurt her.” The Sister nodded. “She was willing to give up her happiness for yours.”
“It hurt her… I hurt her, I hurt everyone involved. I ran, ran from the alter because I didn’t…don’t… love Frank, not like that, and I will not marry him, baby or not.”
“So, a part of your dilemma is solved.” The Sister smiled. “One step closer to the resolution of your problem.”
“You are very kind.” Natalia smiled sadly at the woman. “But this is so much more complicated…”
“Of course, life is complicated.” The Nun sympathized with her new friend. “I would imagine it would be. To be taking advice from so many different people and trying to interpret everything that happens as a ‘sign from God’ would confuse me immensely.” The woman smoothed the black material across her thighs and spoke with only a hint of amusement. “Many people simplify their lives by making their own decisions. They consider what they need first, then think about what those around them would want and try to accommodate them accordingly.”
“I can’t put myself first.” Natalia rejected the thought. “I have to put my son first, I have to take his feelings into account.”
“Surely take them into account, I’m not saying don’t… I’m saying why do you have to put him first… why do his feelings count for more than yours… why does your life have to conform to his idea of what should be? From the way you describe him he sounds more like he’s nine instead of nineteen. He is demanding things from you he has no right to demand. He doesn’t know how you feel, does he? He doesn’t know what it’s like to see her across the room and feel as though you can suddenly breathe. He doesn’t know how her smile brightens you soul.”
Natalia wasn’t sure the woman was speaking about her life anymore. The far away look the Sister got as she spoke almost made it seem like personal experience the nun was drawing on, but that was too much for Natalia to process. She thought about what the Sister had asked. Why did her life have to conform to Rafe’s idea of ‘right’. Why was he being so demanding? She knew the answer and she knew it was her fault, he is a spoiled brat and that is why he was throwing this tantrum. I’ve always given him his way. “He told me a thousand times that all he wanted was for me to be happy. Then when I tried to be with the person…woman… that actually made me happy…” She cringed at the memory of him telling her and Olivia to go to Hell. “Do you believe in Hell, Sister?”
“Yes.”
Natalia nodded. “I do too.” She licked her lips. “But I believe it’s a rather empty place.”
“How so?” The woman’s blue eyes studied her companion and spoke quietly. “Many people commit infractions that would send them there.”
“Some people believe that.” Natalia agreed. “But the God I believe in… is Love and I don’t think it’s possible for Him to send someone to an eternity of torment simply for loving another person…” She scrubbed her face with her hands. “The God I believe in is all about Love, and Forgiveness…”
“That has been my belief for quite a number of years.” The Sister smiled at the brunette next to her. “So you have decided that you will not marry Frank, no matter what.” The nun watched as Natalia nodded in agreement and she asked. “What do you think will happen when you inform Olivia about the child?”
“I don’t know!” The tears that had begun to dry were again threatening to spill over, down Natalia’s cheeks. “I’m terrified that she will no longer want to be with me.”
“You think her love for you is that weak?”
“What?” Natalia automatically protested. “No, she loves me… she…”
“Then trust in that, Child.” The nun’s kind eyes wrinkled slightly at the corners. “Hold on to it tightly, fight for it if you must. Love is God’s greatest gift to us, don’t throw it away.”
Dark eyes grew wider. “What have I done?”
“You have run away.” The Sister spoke matter-of-factly. “You have run away from your problem, as you seem to have done before.”
“I don’t…”
The Sister’s shaking head quieted the protest. “You went all the way to the alter, and as you were going to declare your love for Frank, you ran… now, as you related it to me, you and Olivia were going to go to this family picnic together, basically declaring your love for each other… and again you ran, never showed up… in effect, leaving Olivia at the alter. How do you think that made her feel?”
Natalia’s face paled. “Oh no!” Burying her face in her hands, Natalia cried. “Emma was so excited about today.”
“Emma… Olivia’s daughter.”
“She’s so sweet, and I love her like my own.” Natalia continued crying. “What have I done?”
“Nothing yet.” The Sister pointed out. “You won’t have done anything until the train leaves with you on it.”
“There is still a chance.” Natalia began to gather up her things, when her hand hit her cell phone. Her finger’s dialed a number before she’d even thought about it.
-------------------
Farmhouse, no. Church, park, Beacon, no no no… Olivia felt like she’d looked all over town for Natalia and decided to tackle the problem from a different angle and asked herself. Where would I least likely find her? She turned the wheel of her car and headed toward the nearest bar when her phone rang. With her eyes on the road she didn’t look at the screen, hitting the accept call button with her thumb. When she heard the tentative ‘hello’ Olivia immediately began looking for a place to pull over. “Natalia!” Whipping the car into the closest parking space, Olivia killed the engine and cradled the phone in her hands. “Are you okay? Where are you? What’s going on?”
“I’m not okay, ‘liv.” Natalia sighed. “I’m at the train station, and I can’t talk about it over the phone.”
“The train station?” Olivia frowned. “You’re leaving?”
“No.” Natalia’s sigh was audible through the phone. “I was… but… Olivia? Would you come and pick me up please? I don’t have my car.”
“Of course,” Olivia was totally confused now, but the tightness in her chest had eased as soon as she’d heard Natalia say hello. “Of course, Sweetheart, anything you need. I’m on my way.”
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“She’s coming to get me. Will you stay with me until she gets here?” Natalia exhaled in relief at the nun’s nodding head and noticed a small wisp of blonde hair sneaking out from under the woman’s head covering.
“I’m here until my train arrives.” She folded her hands on her lap, and smiled.
“Thank you, Sister.” Natalia was very nervous about seeing Olivia and trying to explain herself. She was glad to have a little distracting company. They sat in silence for several moments before Natalia asked the nun. “Where are you heading?”
“The same place you were I suspect.” In more ways than one. The Sister smiled at Natalia’s confused look. “The Retreat… this is the last part of my journey there.”
“You were going there to clear your head and think about things?” Natalia was astonished. What problem would a nun have that required peaceful contemplation at a Retreat? “Just like I was?”
The Sister nodded and agreed. “Just like you… I have, doubts, about many things.”
“Your faith?”
Nodding, the Sister agreed. “Among other things.” She was glad the door to the station opened and her lips twitched as the agitated newcomer scanned the room, restless eyes landing quickly on Natalia. “This must be Olivia.” Another twitch of a grin crossed the nun’s face as Natalia quickly turned and smiled shyly at the woman.
Rushing over to Natalia, Olivia automatically reached out placing her hands on Natalia’s arms. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Olivia’s voice softened slightly. “What’s wrong? Why are you here? Where are you going?”
“Olivia.” Natalia couldn’t stop the tears that had filled her eyes at the sight of Olivia. She couldn’t manage more words, but shifted slightly escaping the grip and moved closer to wrap her arms around Olivia’s waist. “Give me a minute okay?”
Sliding her arms around Natalia, Olivia found her lips pressed close to the other woman’s ear and whispered. “Take all the time you need.”
Natalia never wanted to let go. “Can we please go home?”
“Of course.” Looking past Natalia, Olivia saw the nun sitting there, oddly enough there was a slight smile on the woman’s face as she began to stand.
“I’ll just give you two some privacy.” Reaching down she grabbed the bag at her feet and began to walk to a different bench.
“Sister!” Natalia released her hold on Olivia, but only turned in the older woman’s arms, savoring the contact they had.
Stopping her forward motion, the nun turned and raised her eyebrows at Natalia. “Yes?”
“Thank you.” Natalia’s hands dropped to hug the arms around her. “For everything.”
With a final nod, the Sister smiled. “You are welcome, Child, anytime.” She continued her walk to a different bench, one far enough away not to be able to hear anything Natalia or Olivia might say to each other. There wasn’t really any reason to move, the Sister thought as she watched the couple leave the station. At least they are talking now… I hope. Closing her eyes to say a prayer for the couple, the nun kept them closed after the prayer was complete, losing herself in thoughts of other things, other people… one in particular with lovely red-hair and vivid blue eyes. A shadow passed in front of her closed eyes and when she opened them, the dream became real. The phrase, ask and you shall receive passed through her mind. “Hello.” A small smile played across her lips. “What are you doing here?”
“I should ask you the same. My presence is easily explained. I’m here because you are.”
The Sister folded her hands on her lap and gently teased. “Shall I call you Sister Ruth from now on?”
Rolling her eyes the newcomer dropped to the seat beside her friend. “Sarah will do just fine.” She placed her hand on the older woman’s arm, heat filtered through the cloth covering. “Come home Aly.”
Chuckling at the diminutive of her name, she gently patted the hand on her arm. Glancing at the empty bench where she and Natalia had spoken, the Sister decided to take her own advice. She spoke to the woman next to her, squeezing the hand under hers gently.
“You are here,” Even closing her eyes against it, the truth escaped her lips. “I am home.”
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tbc…. ?
I suppose you want the conversation with Olivia and Natalia after they get back to the farmhouse huh? Well it’s 2am here so that will have to wait. ;)
By Gin
Blake’s words Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now echoed through Olivia’s head as she searched the crowd at the barbecue. Spotting the person she wanted, Olivia walked directly up to Phillip. “I need you to watch Emma for a while. I have something I need to do.”
“Sure.” Phillip was totally agreeable to that, and thought he knew what Olivia needed to do since Natalia wasn’t here yet and he knew the other woman was supposed to have arrived before the games began.
She glanced over where Rafe and Emma were shooting each other with water guns and decided against saying bye. That would only bring up questions she wasn’t prepared to answer at the moment.
Swallowing against the sick feeling in her stomach, the words once again floated through her head. Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now. Anger began to replace the heart pounding, mind blanking terror those words evoked. Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now. Something had happened, something Blake knew but wouldn’t tell. Olivia sat in her car for a moment, then clenched her teeth. “Bullshit!” She turned the key in the ignition and growled. “I don’t care if she wants to see me or not, Ms. Rivera has some explaining to do! And I’m not going to sit around waiting for it.” A small scoffing sound escaped her lips. “No more waiting Natalia! Isn’t that what we decided?”
She pulled out of her parking spot and headed out to find the absent woman. “No more waiting.”
-------------------
Natalia sat on the bench at the train station, her mind whirling at the overwhelming changes her life was about to take. She knew there were people bustling in the station, back and forth in front of her, trains were announced arriving and departing… she exhaled softly and the word arriving drifted through her mind, her hand automatically went to her stomach and she swallowed against the sick feeling rising in the back of her throat, her mind once again whirling with possibilities and she began to pray, her hand automatically moving up from her stomach, wrapping around the cross hanging from her neck. Dear Lord, I know I’ve messed everything up and I could really use a little guidance right now. She was so lost in prayer, she didn’t even notice when someone sat down beside her, at least not until they spoke.
“What troubles you child?”
Looking up, Natalia blinked at the figure next to her, the woman was smiling encouragingly, Natalia responded in kind, and felt like she could breathe. Prayers were answered, she’d known that in her heart all along and addressed the woman sitting next to her. “Sister?”
“Mmmm…” The kind smile never faltered and the woman’s blue eyes now twinkled in amusement. “That is usually what wearing a habit indicates.” She saw the younger woman’s grip on the cross. “Were you praying?” Now the blue eyes widened. “I apologize, I did not mean to interrupt…” She began to rise when Natalia held out a hand, almost but not quite touching her arm.
“No, please, don’t go. I was praying for guidance. I was praying for you.” She sent a fast thought to her deity. Oh thank you for being so quick about it this time.
Desperation in the brunette’s voice caused the nun to retake her seat and she nodded. “The Lord does seem to work in mysterious ways.”
Natalia murmured almost sarcastically. “You have no idea.” In her head she could hear Olivia’s voice echo the sentiment, just the thought of Olivia brought a lump in her throat and she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. What could she possibly say to Olivia, how would she even begin to talk about….this?
“Tears?” The sister used the sleeve of her robe to wipe away the moisture on Natalia’s cheek. “Perhaps talking about the issue would help?”
Natalia looked around and realized the train she was waiting on wouldn’t arrive at the station for a while and they were nearly alone in the large waiting area. She began to speak, the words tumbling out of her. She told the Sister everything… while carefully not mentioning Olivia’s name or gender, then waited holding her breath for a response until she started to see spots forming in front of her eyes and forced herself to breathe.
“That is quite a story, my child.” Kind blue eyes settled on Natalia’s watery dark ones. “But, you didn’t explain why you are here.”
“Father Ray suggested a retreat, he said going to a place of peace to contemplate the situation, might let me figure things out easier.”
The Sister nodded slightly. “I guess that sounds reasonable.”
“You guess?” Natalia was surprised the Sister wasn’t backing up Father Ray’s advice.
“Can I ask you a question?” The nun turned in her seat to face the troubled woman. “What exactly would Father Ray know about being pregnant, or being in love?”
“Uh…” Natalia opened her mouth, then closed it. Several times she repeated the action and began to feel like a fish until she finally found her voice. “He’s a Father. Doesn’t he know everything?”
“Definitely not.” The Sister was outraged at the young woman’s naivety. “They are people, flawed and fallible just like the rest of us.” Taking a deep breath, the Sister spoke quietly. “May I ask another question?”
“Of course.”
“What… is her name?”
Confused for a moment, Natalia seemed to brighten with realization and placed her hand over her tummy where the baby lay just beneath. “I don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl.”
The Nun smiled a tiny smile and shook her head. “No, not the baby. I mean, what is the name of the woman you are in love with.”
Natalia blushed deeply and spoke nervously. “Um... what?”
“That is the reason for your confusion yes? The conflict you have within yourself in regards to the church’s stance on same-sex partners versus the way you feel when you look at… her.” The Sister’s eyes closed as she uttered the pronoun and remained closed slightly longer than was strictly necessary. She only opened them when Natalia spoke softly.
“Olivia.” Just saying the name stabbed at her heart. “How did you…”
“If the person you were in love with was a man, Father Ray’s advice would have been different.”
“How so?” Now Natalia turned to face the Sister.
“He would have told you to tell him, the man that you love, about the pregnancy. He would have told you to discuss it openly and honestly with both the one you love and the father of your child. He would have encouraged dialogue between the three of you.” The Sister held up her hand as Natalia began to interrupt, the ‘why’ question practically written on her lips. “Since he encouraged you to leave town, encouraged you to not speak to Olivia about this issue, possibly told you to inform the baby’s father but not talk to the person you claim to love, Father Ray seems to be putting a wedge between you and the woman you say you love. What I’m not sure of is, why.”
“It doesn’t seem like something Father Ray would do. He’s always been very kind to me, helping me through some situation or other. He was a pillar of support for me when Rafe was in prison and he often drops by the house for coffee or sometimes even a beer. I think I’m the first person he turns to when the church is having an event that involves baking.”
The sister’s lips twitched and she was very careful with her next statement. “Perhaps he is… more attached to you than either of you realize or that he wants, or can, admit.”
“What are you saying?”
“Perhaps Father Ray would rather see you in a traditional relationship, with a man, than in one that is as forbidden as the one he wants to be in, with you.”
Natalia began to feel like a fish again. “I can’t believe that.”
“If it’s true it’s true whether you believe it or not.” The sister held up her hand, “I’m not saying it’s true, it’s just a thought I had.”
Speaking absently, Natalia almost whispered. “Olivia pushed me toward marrying… Frank too. She thought it was what would make me happy.”
“But it hurt her.” The Sister nodded. “She was willing to give up her happiness for yours.”
“It hurt her… I hurt her, I hurt everyone involved. I ran, ran from the alter because I didn’t…don’t… love Frank, not like that, and I will not marry him, baby or not.”
“So, a part of your dilemma is solved.” The Sister smiled. “One step closer to the resolution of your problem.”
“You are very kind.” Natalia smiled sadly at the woman. “But this is so much more complicated…”
“Of course, life is complicated.” The Nun sympathized with her new friend. “I would imagine it would be. To be taking advice from so many different people and trying to interpret everything that happens as a ‘sign from God’ would confuse me immensely.” The woman smoothed the black material across her thighs and spoke with only a hint of amusement. “Many people simplify their lives by making their own decisions. They consider what they need first, then think about what those around them would want and try to accommodate them accordingly.”
“I can’t put myself first.” Natalia rejected the thought. “I have to put my son first, I have to take his feelings into account.”
“Surely take them into account, I’m not saying don’t… I’m saying why do you have to put him first… why do his feelings count for more than yours… why does your life have to conform to his idea of what should be? From the way you describe him he sounds more like he’s nine instead of nineteen. He is demanding things from you he has no right to demand. He doesn’t know how you feel, does he? He doesn’t know what it’s like to see her across the room and feel as though you can suddenly breathe. He doesn’t know how her smile brightens you soul.”
Natalia wasn’t sure the woman was speaking about her life anymore. The far away look the Sister got as she spoke almost made it seem like personal experience the nun was drawing on, but that was too much for Natalia to process. She thought about what the Sister had asked. Why did her life have to conform to Rafe’s idea of ‘right’. Why was he being so demanding? She knew the answer and she knew it was her fault, he is a spoiled brat and that is why he was throwing this tantrum. I’ve always given him his way. “He told me a thousand times that all he wanted was for me to be happy. Then when I tried to be with the person…woman… that actually made me happy…” She cringed at the memory of him telling her and Olivia to go to Hell. “Do you believe in Hell, Sister?”
“Yes.”
Natalia nodded. “I do too.” She licked her lips. “But I believe it’s a rather empty place.”
“How so?” The woman’s blue eyes studied her companion and spoke quietly. “Many people commit infractions that would send them there.”
“Some people believe that.” Natalia agreed. “But the God I believe in… is Love and I don’t think it’s possible for Him to send someone to an eternity of torment simply for loving another person…” She scrubbed her face with her hands. “The God I believe in is all about Love, and Forgiveness…”
“That has been my belief for quite a number of years.” The Sister smiled at the brunette next to her. “So you have decided that you will not marry Frank, no matter what.” The nun watched as Natalia nodded in agreement and she asked. “What do you think will happen when you inform Olivia about the child?”
“I don’t know!” The tears that had begun to dry were again threatening to spill over, down Natalia’s cheeks. “I’m terrified that she will no longer want to be with me.”
“You think her love for you is that weak?”
“What?” Natalia automatically protested. “No, she loves me… she…”
“Then trust in that, Child.” The nun’s kind eyes wrinkled slightly at the corners. “Hold on to it tightly, fight for it if you must. Love is God’s greatest gift to us, don’t throw it away.”
Dark eyes grew wider. “What have I done?”
“You have run away.” The Sister spoke matter-of-factly. “You have run away from your problem, as you seem to have done before.”
“I don’t…”
The Sister’s shaking head quieted the protest. “You went all the way to the alter, and as you were going to declare your love for Frank, you ran… now, as you related it to me, you and Olivia were going to go to this family picnic together, basically declaring your love for each other… and again you ran, never showed up… in effect, leaving Olivia at the alter. How do you think that made her feel?”
Natalia’s face paled. “Oh no!” Burying her face in her hands, Natalia cried. “Emma was so excited about today.”
“Emma… Olivia’s daughter.”
“She’s so sweet, and I love her like my own.” Natalia continued crying. “What have I done?”
“Nothing yet.” The Sister pointed out. “You won’t have done anything until the train leaves with you on it.”
“There is still a chance.” Natalia began to gather up her things, when her hand hit her cell phone. Her finger’s dialed a number before she’d even thought about it.
-------------------
Farmhouse, no. Church, park, Beacon, no no no… Olivia felt like she’d looked all over town for Natalia and decided to tackle the problem from a different angle and asked herself. Where would I least likely find her? She turned the wheel of her car and headed toward the nearest bar when her phone rang. With her eyes on the road she didn’t look at the screen, hitting the accept call button with her thumb. When she heard the tentative ‘hello’ Olivia immediately began looking for a place to pull over. “Natalia!” Whipping the car into the closest parking space, Olivia killed the engine and cradled the phone in her hands. “Are you okay? Where are you? What’s going on?”
“I’m not okay, ‘liv.” Natalia sighed. “I’m at the train station, and I can’t talk about it over the phone.”
“The train station?” Olivia frowned. “You’re leaving?”
“No.” Natalia’s sigh was audible through the phone. “I was… but… Olivia? Would you come and pick me up please? I don’t have my car.”
“Of course,” Olivia was totally confused now, but the tightness in her chest had eased as soon as she’d heard Natalia say hello. “Of course, Sweetheart, anything you need. I’m on my way.”
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“She’s coming to get me. Will you stay with me until she gets here?” Natalia exhaled in relief at the nun’s nodding head and noticed a small wisp of blonde hair sneaking out from under the woman’s head covering.
“I’m here until my train arrives.” She folded her hands on her lap, and smiled.
“Thank you, Sister.” Natalia was very nervous about seeing Olivia and trying to explain herself. She was glad to have a little distracting company. They sat in silence for several moments before Natalia asked the nun. “Where are you heading?”
“The same place you were I suspect.” In more ways than one. The Sister smiled at Natalia’s confused look. “The Retreat… this is the last part of my journey there.”
“You were going there to clear your head and think about things?” Natalia was astonished. What problem would a nun have that required peaceful contemplation at a Retreat? “Just like I was?”
The Sister nodded and agreed. “Just like you… I have, doubts, about many things.”
“Your faith?”
Nodding, the Sister agreed. “Among other things.” She was glad the door to the station opened and her lips twitched as the agitated newcomer scanned the room, restless eyes landing quickly on Natalia. “This must be Olivia.” Another twitch of a grin crossed the nun’s face as Natalia quickly turned and smiled shyly at the woman.
Rushing over to Natalia, Olivia automatically reached out placing her hands on Natalia’s arms. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Olivia’s voice softened slightly. “What’s wrong? Why are you here? Where are you going?”
“Olivia.” Natalia couldn’t stop the tears that had filled her eyes at the sight of Olivia. She couldn’t manage more words, but shifted slightly escaping the grip and moved closer to wrap her arms around Olivia’s waist. “Give me a minute okay?”
Sliding her arms around Natalia, Olivia found her lips pressed close to the other woman’s ear and whispered. “Take all the time you need.”
Natalia never wanted to let go. “Can we please go home?”
“Of course.” Looking past Natalia, Olivia saw the nun sitting there, oddly enough there was a slight smile on the woman’s face as she began to stand.
“I’ll just give you two some privacy.” Reaching down she grabbed the bag at her feet and began to walk to a different bench.
“Sister!” Natalia released her hold on Olivia, but only turned in the older woman’s arms, savoring the contact they had.
Stopping her forward motion, the nun turned and raised her eyebrows at Natalia. “Yes?”
“Thank you.” Natalia’s hands dropped to hug the arms around her. “For everything.”
With a final nod, the Sister smiled. “You are welcome, Child, anytime.” She continued her walk to a different bench, one far enough away not to be able to hear anything Natalia or Olivia might say to each other. There wasn’t really any reason to move, the Sister thought as she watched the couple leave the station. At least they are talking now… I hope. Closing her eyes to say a prayer for the couple, the nun kept them closed after the prayer was complete, losing herself in thoughts of other things, other people… one in particular with lovely red-hair and vivid blue eyes. A shadow passed in front of her closed eyes and when she opened them, the dream became real. The phrase, ask and you shall receive passed through her mind. “Hello.” A small smile played across her lips. “What are you doing here?”
“I should ask you the same. My presence is easily explained. I’m here because you are.”
The Sister folded her hands on her lap and gently teased. “Shall I call you Sister Ruth from now on?”
Rolling her eyes the newcomer dropped to the seat beside her friend. “Sarah will do just fine.” She placed her hand on the older woman’s arm, heat filtered through the cloth covering. “Come home Aly.”
Chuckling at the diminutive of her name, she gently patted the hand on her arm. Glancing at the empty bench where she and Natalia had spoken, the Sister decided to take her own advice. She spoke to the woman next to her, squeezing the hand under hers gently.
“You are here,” Even closing her eyes against it, the truth escaped her lips. “I am home.”
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tbc…. ?
I suppose you want the conversation with Olivia and Natalia after they get back to the farmhouse huh? Well it’s 2am here so that will have to wait. ;)