How To Understand Europe 101
Guys, I simply MUST tell you all about the Eurovision Song Contest, whether you want to hear it or not. You won't be able to go on without knowing all about it. It's the Culmination of Culture, the Epitome of Ebullience, the only really quick way to understanding the essence of Europe. Or, as the Fug Girls say, it's a " (...) drunky-funky festival in which a bunch of nationally chosen musical acts represent all the most cracked-out, smacked-out, whacked-out aspects of their home countries and then are voted into either heroism or oblivion (...)".
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE IT?
I used to celebrate this Matter of Magnificence every year by inviting friends over, dressing up, serving nibbles and cocktails. Just when everybody was nicely hammered, the show began. It's a wonderful occasion that always leaves you warm and tingly all over. After all, you can't help die laughing.
So, yup. That's how it is. Every year in May we Europeans become the most ridiculous, most stupid people on Earth. And we're loving every minute of it.
Alas, this year, having recently moved far away from all my friends, I had to watch my favourite Spectacle of Skilfulness all on my own. I just NEED to vent about the awesomeness of it all. That's why I'm sharing it with you.
THIS is what I'm talking about (Russia). Doesn't it bring tears of mirth into your eyes?
Or these adorable Punk Flummies dressed in Tin Foil (Ireland). I've been to STARLIGHT EXPRESS several times, but never met a cuter set of coaches in my whole LIFE. Loved the song, though. Perky and fun! ^__^
Enjoy the really deep Austrian contribution "WOKI MIT DEIM POPO" (Shakey Your Bootie, Baby) with smooth, gender-sensitive and intellectually stimulating lyrics such as "DEIN POPO HAT GEFÜHLE!" (Your bum has feelings!).
Or Montenegro. How can you not become a well-educated Eurosceptic after hearing a greasy businessman in a cape with circa Vincent Price's voice sing "Euro Neuro" and watch his donkey eat Ten-Euro-Bills?
How about The FacebookSocial Network Song (oh-oh-uh-oh-oh)? Click me, baby. You know you want to.
Of course, I wouldn't just keep watching it just for the crack. Somewhere among squeaking, hopping, tanned jobbies with short dresses and plastic boobs you find real gems. Give them a try, I loved these songs very much:
Iceland.
Albania. Ugly dress, though. And that dreadlock necklace. And yes, I used to like Björk.
Italy.
Spain.
Aaaaannnnd ... Moldova. Watch his dancing lampshades XD! The beauty is that even a good song can be cracked out!
..
..
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE IT?
I used to celebrate this Matter of Magnificence every year by inviting friends over, dressing up, serving nibbles and cocktails. Just when everybody was nicely hammered, the show began. It's a wonderful occasion that always leaves you warm and tingly all over. After all, you can't help die laughing.
So, yup. That's how it is. Every year in May we Europeans become the most ridiculous, most stupid people on Earth. And we're loving every minute of it.
Alas, this year, having recently moved far away from all my friends, I had to watch my favourite Spectacle of Skilfulness all on my own. I just NEED to vent about the awesomeness of it all. That's why I'm sharing it with you.
THIS is what I'm talking about (Russia). Doesn't it bring tears of mirth into your eyes?
Or these adorable Punk Flummies dressed in Tin Foil (Ireland). I've been to STARLIGHT EXPRESS several times, but never met a cuter set of coaches in my whole LIFE. Loved the song, though. Perky and fun! ^__^
Enjoy the really deep Austrian contribution "WOKI MIT DEIM POPO" (Shakey Your Bootie, Baby) with smooth, gender-sensitive and intellectually stimulating lyrics such as "DEIN POPO HAT GEFÜHLE!" (Your bum has feelings!).
Or Montenegro. How can you not become a well-educated Eurosceptic after hearing a greasy businessman in a cape with circa Vincent Price's voice sing "Euro Neuro" and watch his donkey eat Ten-Euro-Bills?
How about The FacebookSocial Network Song (oh-oh-uh-oh-oh)? Click me, baby. You know you want to.
Of course, I wouldn't just keep watching it just for the crack. Somewhere among squeaking, hopping, tanned jobbies with short dresses and plastic boobs you find real gems. Give them a try, I loved these songs very much:
Iceland.
Albania. Ugly dress, though. And that dreadlock necklace. And yes, I used to like Björk.
Italy.
Spain.
Aaaaannnnd ... Moldova. Watch his dancing lampshades XD! The beauty is that even a good song can be cracked out!
..
..