What is a friend?
My fledgling entrance to social networking via Facebook has left me pondering the nature of the word friend.
The usual crowd of high school and college friends were no surprise, and Facebook does make it easier for me to keep up with what everyone is up to. Beyond that I have been able to locate a few long lost pals and reconnect with them, and that has also been wonderful.
But, the further I venture in, the murkier it feels. I have "friended" a number of people who were more like acquaintances from different eras of my life, and now I am getting requests from people who I don't think would have ever called me friend back in the day. Now, I've been told that etiquette wise, I am under no obligation to accept friend requests from these people, but I haven't had the heart to hit ignore yet. I think about all the playmates of my childhood who were too cool for me by high school who I have wondered about over the years. If I sent them a friend request, how would I feel if they just hit ignore? I wonder if perhaps these were people who I knew at one time, and my holey memory has allowed to slip through the cracks, if these were people who I meant more to than they meant to me, or if they are just friend whores who are just seeking the biggest friend number they can manage. And how does one know the difference? Do these people really care that I just made soup or that my Dad is flying in for Thanksgiving? And if they do, what does that say about them..? Do I really want the whole world to know these details about me? Not really....
I just used Facebook to offer an apology to a boyfriend from the distant past who I had hurt deeply. Now he wants to friend me. Oh dear. I was right to offer the apology, it was long overdue, but the consequences have me puzzled. Do I really want my former paramour to have a window into my current life? On the other hand, if I ignore his request, does that negate the apology I offered?
I think the 21st century is just too complicated for me. *sigh*
The usual crowd of high school and college friends were no surprise, and Facebook does make it easier for me to keep up with what everyone is up to. Beyond that I have been able to locate a few long lost pals and reconnect with them, and that has also been wonderful.
But, the further I venture in, the murkier it feels. I have "friended" a number of people who were more like acquaintances from different eras of my life, and now I am getting requests from people who I don't think would have ever called me friend back in the day. Now, I've been told that etiquette wise, I am under no obligation to accept friend requests from these people, but I haven't had the heart to hit ignore yet. I think about all the playmates of my childhood who were too cool for me by high school who I have wondered about over the years. If I sent them a friend request, how would I feel if they just hit ignore? I wonder if perhaps these were people who I knew at one time, and my holey memory has allowed to slip through the cracks, if these were people who I meant more to than they meant to me, or if they are just friend whores who are just seeking the biggest friend number they can manage. And how does one know the difference? Do these people really care that I just made soup or that my Dad is flying in for Thanksgiving? And if they do, what does that say about them..? Do I really want the whole world to know these details about me? Not really....
I just used Facebook to offer an apology to a boyfriend from the distant past who I had hurt deeply. Now he wants to friend me. Oh dear. I was right to offer the apology, it was long overdue, but the consequences have me puzzled. Do I really want my former paramour to have a window into my current life? On the other hand, if I ignore his request, does that negate the apology I offered?
I think the 21st century is just too complicated for me. *sigh*