First

[akapeanut]

Oookay, I know I can overdo the drinks sometimes, but what the hell is this? I swear I was just going into Der Waffle Haus, you know, like usual? And then I’m in this…house? And who gave me this piece of shit? I don’t really need a blackberry, thanks, my job’s not really…like that

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[epiccombo]

Yeah, good luck getting back to whatever place you came from.

You're not going anywhere. You're in Wonderland.

[video forever]

[akapeanut]

Uh, come again?

[video forever]

[epiccombo]

Okay, so this place you're in? It's called Wonderland.

Don't try leaving because there's no way out. Food's free here, and so is the stuff you can get from the closets. Just walk in one thinking about whatever it is you want, and boom.

There's a queen who runs the show here. Never seen her though.

[akapeanut]

Wait. No. Fuck no. I read that book, Wonderland was not like that. It was all...growing and shrinking and talking dodos and shit.

[She's not sounding as confident as she could, mostly because she just appeared here and that's...never happened before.]

[epiccombo]

Yeah, we all know this isn't like the book.

[Lies... he never read the book.]

But it's still called Wonderland, and like it or not, you're stuck here with the rest of us.

[Yeah, Puck should never be the first person to greet a new arrival.]

[akapeanut]

Why the fuck would I be in Wonderland? That doesn't even begin to make any sense...

[Unless this is her afterlife's way of trapping her in the books she read instead of socializing? What a stupid kind of hell that would be.]

[epiccombo]

Why the hell would any of us be here, except that the stupid queen dropped us all in and won't let us leave?

We're all stuck here, okay? It's not just you.

[In other words, chill out, babe.]

[akapeanut]

[Don't call her babe, Puck's narration. B|]

Okay, fine. So we're all...you know...dead?

[Just saying that as casually as possible.]

[epiccombo]

[Damn, what is it with all these uptight girls? ...Fine, he won't call her babe.]

Dead? Hell no.

What kinda question is that, anyway?

[akapeanut]

It-- I don't know, what would you think? Suddenly showing up someplace and you don't remember getting there, and there's...magic shit going on...

I mean, seriously, you didn't think of that?

[epiccombo]

Uh, no, I didn't. Want to know why? Because I think I'd know if I died.

Besides, if I did croak before coming here, you'd think I'd remember if some crazy shit happened. Which I don't.

[Eyebrow raise.]

Why are you so convinced you're dead, anyway? Besides the stuff you just said.

[akapeanut]

Uh-- no reason. Guess I've just got a...flair for the macabre.

[Oh God, if one of the reapers could hear her now...]

Anyway. Whatever, I'm just going to...take your word on this shit. Not like I can do much else.

You know, you never gave me your name.

[epiccombo]

Like one of those goth people or something?

[That just reminds him of Tina from glee club.]

Yeah. That's what most people who've been dropped here are doing. And anyway, this place doesn't suck so bad once you get past the whole being stuck thing.

It's Puck.

[akapeanut]

Uh, yeah. Sure.

I'm George. You've been here a while, then?

[epiccombo]

A week, or two weeks... something like that.

Anyone fill you in on this place yet? Besides it being Wonderland and everything.

[akapeanut]

[Sigh.] No, not really.