Oh how quickly the moods can change..
How amazing is it that I can get worked up over people when they dont even know im doing it?
Here's my passive agressive way of expressing my feelings indirectly and hoping the point gets out there. Times like this when I wish certain people read it, but im not going to tell them. Then they'd read the rest of it too :B
I dont like rejection. I dont like feeling left out, or abandoned. Passed up for something better. The backup only to be used in emergencies. Who does? I cant think of anyone. And obviously im so insecure that i have to find them online :D Hehe but then again thats how things are done these days. Wooh for technology..
The limit i keep an email in my box is 2 weeks, after that I feel like an ass for leaving people waiting who might be expecting replies. Do other people do the same? or do you let it go longer? less? no reply? reply after a minute? If longer do you think about how the other person might feel about you?
I get that people arent the same as me.. but I think the whole insecurity thing makes my mind come up with crazy doubts so my defense mechanism is to psychologically write people off in my brain to protect myself from rejection. That is, if they dont live up to my insane standards and rules.
Maybe thats why Dan and I dont talk much anymore..i was psycho when he came in september. granted he was also difficult(read:impossible) and got me sick from the stress of being a tour guide for him 24/7 :B
But anyways that psyche of mine says.. If they dont want to contact me than fuck 'em, pretty much. So for some friends, family and others i try and am trying REALLY hard not to do this because it'll hurt if they actually do respond and i have to try and let them back in again.
In summary.. dont leave your friends/family waiting 6 months for replies. Im exaggerating for some but not for others, sadly enough. Guess which one is family =\ it sucks! And if you see them on a message service like aim or msn.. just say hi! you dont have to talk for hours. just let them know you're alive and you havent forgotten them.
Hell.. even a one sentence email. You can include the 'to' and 'from' if that makes it quicker -_-'
Instead of writing nasty emails, Im going to bed and try to pretend i feel justified by being the one who makes the effort to keep in touch. :D
Here's my passive agressive way of expressing my feelings indirectly and hoping the point gets out there. Times like this when I wish certain people read it, but im not going to tell them. Then they'd read the rest of it too :B
I dont like rejection. I dont like feeling left out, or abandoned. Passed up for something better. The backup only to be used in emergencies. Who does? I cant think of anyone. And obviously im so insecure that i have to find them online :D Hehe but then again thats how things are done these days. Wooh for technology..
The limit i keep an email in my box is 2 weeks, after that I feel like an ass for leaving people waiting who might be expecting replies. Do other people do the same? or do you let it go longer? less? no reply? reply after a minute? If longer do you think about how the other person might feel about you?
I get that people arent the same as me.. but I think the whole insecurity thing makes my mind come up with crazy doubts so my defense mechanism is to psychologically write people off in my brain to protect myself from rejection. That is, if they dont live up to my insane standards and rules.
Maybe thats why Dan and I dont talk much anymore..i was psycho when he came in september. granted he was also difficult(read:impossible) and got me sick from the stress of being a tour guide for him 24/7 :B
But anyways that psyche of mine says.. If they dont want to contact me than fuck 'em, pretty much. So for some friends, family and others i try and am trying REALLY hard not to do this because it'll hurt if they actually do respond and i have to try and let them back in again.
In summary.. dont leave your friends/family waiting 6 months for replies. Im exaggerating for some but not for others, sadly enough. Guess which one is family =\ it sucks! And if you see them on a message service like aim or msn.. just say hi! you dont have to talk for hours. just let them know you're alive and you havent forgotten them.
Hell.. even a one sentence email. You can include the 'to' and 'from' if that makes it quicker -_-'
Instead of writing nasty emails, Im going to bed and try to pretend i feel justified by being the one who makes the effort to keep in touch. :D