A Colorful Weekend
This is a boring entry full of plot summary confirming a promise unbroken. It was created on livejournal instead of the usual notepad, so some fancy formatting has taken place.
Thursday I hung out with Tricia at Mitsuwa and her place. Mitsuwa reminds me of Japan, which means I'm gonna be going there more often. And Tricia reminds me of my purpose in life, which means I haven't been hanging out with her enough. Tricia is a busy person though. Between school every day of the year, and work every day there isn't school, we haven't really had a chance to hang out as much as we used to. Although, I'm sure people must have free time in order to live, so if I asked enough, we could have hung out more over the summer. Maybe it's all a conspiracy and we're just not as bff as we used to be. She does have a boyfriend (LOL) so maybe that's why. Yeah. You don't have a chance and haven't for 2 years. Give it up.
Friday I hung out with Vy at Starbucks and her place and AMC and the Block and Denny's and May's. ...I don't know what to say besides Tropic Thunder was a waste of my money. Okay, if it's a comedy, even if I laugh at some parts, but I can still label it as a shitty movie. I do not want to see Jack Black running around half naked half the movie the entire movie. Nor do I want to see a fake movie about a real movie about a fake movie based on a real movie based on a fake book based on a real experience. After that, Denny's was busy, but May's was only after we ordered. I realized some people are worse off than I am, or rather, look at what they have in life differently than how I look at what I have in life. Vy reminds me of someone long gone from my adolescence. Sometimes I think about that person, only, Vy's here, and that other person is not, so it doesn't do much good. I'm so illogical. I went to bed at 3am and woke up at 4pm, having a texting conversation with her that I don't remember sometime in between.
Saturday I hung out with Brandon at his house. We washed his car, then got mine washed. His car made me want to throw up, omg. ... Last time we washed his car it made me want to throw up then too >_> wtf. Well I won't get into it much. I downloaded a new version of Worms and it's now our game of choice during the day. Brandon's house reminds me of one of my oldest friend's house, and Brandon himself reminds me of that oldest friend. Replacement? Idk. I don't think so. Actually, that's 100% negative. Brandon was having some girl troubles, and I was having some work troubles, so all was well. I learned that I can't handle more than 3 shots of Raspberry Novosta Triple Distilled. Uh huh!
Sunday I hung out with Leech-sensei at Shin-sen-gumi. I told him I dropped out of LB and stopped majoring in Japanese and quit my theater job and got fired from my video store job and am now working full time testing video games and take one class a semester and have been showing an interest in programming more than Japanese and have no plans of becoming a teacher and that even though he's a great role model I've pretty much screw myself for the next 6 years because that's how long it'll probably take to graduate but he said that doesn't matter as long as I get that degree and teach my brother Japanese and send him Sensei's way and then strive to make a Japanese learning game for the DS with my programming skills and let him blackmail me using the video of a skit I made junior year and go karaoke-ing with him once in a while like old times and not get too drunk when I go to Japan next year and be sure to visit my host family because I owe them a lot and haven't thanked them enough. We didn't talk about much else. He's still the same, and frankly, so am I.
Monday I ended up not getting fired, but came pretty damn close. I decided I wasn't going to smoke cigarettes at all that day, so I didn't. I made it to my final waking hours without a smoke. I had just finished a pack the night before, so it was pretty easy. Driving became totally different (I was bored half the time), and I had nothing to do but read during breaks. Come bed time I said screw it and decided to revert back to my original plan: Smoke one cigarette a day for 2 weeks, then after that I'll smoke none. I just couldn't go cold turkey. Well, I could, but I wanted to reward myself. Does this mean I'm weak-minded? It's not like I was screaming for a cigarette. I just missed it. So I looked at what I had in my reserve supply. Camel Wides are much larger but less potent than my usual Marlboro 72s, but they would have to do. For some reason, I got really dizzy smoking that camel. Heh.
Tuesday I was told that although my work is magnificent and everything I contribute to the company explodes with rainbows and candy corn, my attitude is something that could be improved. Well, no shit Kevin (my boss), I thought. You should have read my livejournal entry I wrote on Friday you silly person you. Of course, I'm the one who should have taken that entry and put it into words (ha) and shoved those words out of my mouth during our little one-on-one chat. But instead I sit there like an idiot as always, unprepared and unthinking. Yes, I understand. Yes, I agree. Yes, I'll do my best from now on. Yes, I have a question: Can I go now? I almost cried again; it really was pathetic. I can imagine what I looked like as he closed the door and I sat down. I must have looked full of fear and dejection, because he told me he wasn't mad at me and that whether I was getting a formal written warning or not wasn't the issue. My voice must have trembled as I spoke, my eyes red from holding back the tears. The more he explained about his goals with me, the softer his voice became, his look the less stern. And I wasn't faking it to get his sympathy either. As I sat back down at my desk afterward, I had to seriously control my hands or the person sitting next to me would have turned to say something about their shaking, then noticed how I was teary-eyed and how my voice cracked at every utterance. So I closed my eyes and folded my arms and leaned my head back. When I got home I slept for 14 hours. I woke up with a headache once or twice, but at around midnight, I decided to have a smoke to calm myself. I got nothing more than what I had before, so I just went back to sleep.
Wednesday I continued work as usual. I got home and played Worms online with Brandon as usual. And now I'm going to have my once-a-day smoke as usual. Only, I already had a smoke today after I got home. Wtf, I'm already ruining my goal. Does this mean I'm weak-minded? It's not like I'm screaming for a cigarette.
I'm reading Maps in a Mirror during my free time and it's the best thing I've read in the history of the world as far as I can tell. It's a compilation of short stories and personal mini-essays on each of them. You can pick it up and set it down within the hour. You don't have to like science fiction and you don't have to know Orson Scott Card. You just have to enjoy literature and exploring the human mind. I'm not even halfway through it and here I am plugging it away on my livejournal. Does this mean I'm weak-minded?
:P