Super Bowl Party
Tonight I had what I would call for the most part a very successfully super bowl party. Everything started at a little after 4 when we (Matt, Erin, Jim, John, and I) kicked things off with some Smash Bros. It was quite fun, and soon after, Beverly arrived. I didn't know that she had been invited, (I told Matt to invite the usual suspects) and was surprised that she was in on it too (in that she wasn't there when it began) but I was quite happy she made it. The more the merrier. Once the game started, we all had fun and all had a little to drink. Josh and Jim got the most drunk (not very, but still more than Matt or I) and all was going well. The half time party was well, lame. We all made fun of it and prepared to enjoy what was a pretty good second half. There was actually something worth watching.
At the conclusion of the game, more Smash Bros began, and sadly, that's when things began to break down. It is no secret that Erin and I have not been getting along particularly well the past couple months and she's been rather unkind to me. I've bore it with all the dignity I could due to my strong friendship with Matt, but tonight she insulted me and Caroline just a few times to many. It was then that I snapped and actually hurt her. I'm ashamed at myself for doing it, but I've always known how to hurt people. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say I said something very mean to her that nearly reduced her to tears.
It is that fact that bothers me. I know I bent over backwards trying to make her happy and make things go as smoothly as possible, but things just got out of hand. I'd had my fill of Erin's mouth and decided to put her in her place in the meanest way possible. I wouldn't have been surprised by this fact a while ago, but I thought I'd moved past that part of me. The fact remains is that I still have a mean streak in me that I have yet to erradicate. Even though Jim and Bev were on my side for having the guts to stand up for myself, (matt chose no side because he could understand both sides) I'm bothered by the fact that I'm not sorry I said it. I meant what I said and meant for her to hear it plainly. I stil have much work to do on myself. I am not where I want to be.
Sayoara
At the conclusion of the game, more Smash Bros began, and sadly, that's when things began to break down. It is no secret that Erin and I have not been getting along particularly well the past couple months and she's been rather unkind to me. I've bore it with all the dignity I could due to my strong friendship with Matt, but tonight she insulted me and Caroline just a few times to many. It was then that I snapped and actually hurt her. I'm ashamed at myself for doing it, but I've always known how to hurt people. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say I said something very mean to her that nearly reduced her to tears.
It is that fact that bothers me. I know I bent over backwards trying to make her happy and make things go as smoothly as possible, but things just got out of hand. I'd had my fill of Erin's mouth and decided to put her in her place in the meanest way possible. I wouldn't have been surprised by this fact a while ago, but I thought I'd moved past that part of me. The fact remains is that I still have a mean streak in me that I have yet to erradicate. Even though Jim and Bev were on my side for having the guts to stand up for myself, (matt chose no side because he could understand both sides) I'm bothered by the fact that I'm not sorry I said it. I meant what I said and meant for her to hear it plainly. I stil have much work to do on myself. I am not where I want to be.
Sayoara