The Social Service

Feb 05, 2013 17:46

Title: The social service ( Read more... )

# banghim, rating ; g, % fluff, @ beast crossover

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akaipenguin February 6 2013, 09:27:48 UTC
Caramellllll!!!! ( can I call you that?)

Yeah i was actually being 4D when it happen and i was kinda wondering why that person's car was moving like some mad radio gone wild then I realized what was going on after my siblings said it. They drove off so I don't know what happened after that.... hopefully she's okay.

I rechecked the grammar for this and kept my eyes open for anything wrong so I hope it sounded better~ Problems? Do tell!! >< Criticism is fine by me.

Less dialogue, I was actually picturing a scene where by the big boys come in to make Yongguk feel much more superior so I guess yeah it kind of failed.. I will try harder at that next time then~ The climax i admit was just plain horrible cause it went out of topic and I was typing it at 1 in the morning, please do excuse my horrible brain fail.

about your challenge I will try it out on the following fic cause I finished writing a new one.. well technically it was done before this but I will post that up and keep the challenge in mind for the next one~ ^^

AND THANKS FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ AND COMMENT!!! ^^ <3

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tcaramel February 6 2013, 23:58:40 UTC
you may call me whatever I don't really care~
I think I remember seeing some misspelled words here and there but if you go back and do spell check on the english in your word processor (if you can do that) it should clean all of that up.

take your time and have fun when you write and always read everything over a bunch of times before you post and that may also help catch any errors.

^_^

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akaipenguin February 7 2013, 03:41:08 UTC
okie~ I shall do that then~

<3

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