Twilight Fanfic: Being Mrs. Black, Part 9

[akaibara]

Title: Being Mrs. Black, 9/?
Author: akaibara
Rating: PG
Character Pairings: Edward/Bella. Implied Jacob/Bella.
Summary: Imagine that the Cullens were late in returning to Forks. Bella arrived on schedule, but her life proceeded normally. She and Jacob become the best of friends and with no vampires to awaken them, the wolves don't mature. When he

Comments

[embe11ished]

Hm. This scene was a lot less explosive than I expected. I like that the Cullens mostly seems supportive of Edward, except for Rosalie, of course, and Jasper for a moment there. But the interactions between Alice and Jasper were adorable, and Emmett's divided loyalties were touching as well. Thanks for the update!

[akaibara]

Just for curiousity's sake, where would you have placed the point of conflict?

[embe11ished]

I'm not sure, really. I guess I just expected there to be more tension, and more discussion of how Edward had put the family in danger, rather than discussion of what he intended to do about Bella. It seemed that that was what sparked the closest thing to an argument (the one with Jasper), whereas I would have expected the argument to stem from what people may have seen. I want to be clear that I don't dislike the way you did it--it just wasn't quite what I expected. And in many ways, that's a good thing! I really did like that you showed how supportive the family can be, which certainly came out more with the lack of explosive tempers! I hope what I'm saying makes sense!

[akaibara]

Well, and please don't think I'm at all offended, but if I don't ask, then if I missed something I might not catch it. XD

I actually considered more of a direct conflict, but no one volunteered to put up much of a fight beyond Rosalie. Jasper of course is worried from a strategic position, but... while there was an acknowledgment of the danger, there seemed to be a real sense of confidence that it was something that could be neatly dealt with. The greater concern was how the issue will be dealt with going forward. Was the liability going continue, could the situation possibly progress to a more serious threat, etc.

Are they being overconfident? Maybe. And perhaps I'll just point that out to them later.

Regardless, thank you!

[embe11ished]

I guess the possibility of overconfidence hadn't occurred to me. It should be fun to see how you puncture their bubble!