People sometimes...
First of all, I appreciate ever my friends and family has made on my behalf to help me through this hard time. Their frustration speaks volumes to the love they share for me. But that's just it...
How easy is it to be frustrated when a person hurts your feelings? How easy is it to jump to conclusions and try to tear someone down just because they've done you wrong?
This is something that I must not do myself. I JUST PERSONALLY CAN'T!
I find it awful that when someone hurts another, the damaged individual loses the love they once had. Is our love that American's throw around so haphazardly so weak that we can't take some bruising? Maybe love is like working out: it hurts like hell, but it eventually builds you up to something that was better than before. There is a proper way to do it, and it takes finesse and practice.
I think I definitely was straining myself and Ryanne by putting too much weight on our shoulders.
I admit there are times when I wanted to give up, or have even threatened to do so. I must admit this was incredibly wrong of me. I didn't have the patience to see the problem through, or think about it with a cool head. All I could do was focus on how offended I was, or how wrong it was for her to do ect, ect, ect.
People are not perfect. Not in any regards.
Love is not either. F'ing period. People must come to terms with this.
I've always known this in the back of my mind, and now that everything has hit the fan I have come to terms with it's truth.
If you absolutely, whole heartedly, passionately love someone from the bottom of your heart you cannot turn it off when things get bad.
I don't think I should have to either. So please stop telling me to do so. It isn't helping, and is only pissing me off. If anyone knew the shit Ryanne has been through, especially living with me, they would understand that she's a confusing individual. But I also find that beautiful, captivating, interesting, and riveting. Unfortunately putting the best foot forward isn't easy, but that's life. Loving Ryanne has always taught me that a life worth living will never be easy. What lessons would I ever learn from that? I do know that LOVING Ryanne IS easy. It has always happened easily, and sometimes unavoidably as well. When we first met and we just wanted to be friends I felt that no matter how hard I tried to just be her friend, I kept falling further, and further in love with her. I feel that way right now too, even as I worry that things will never be the same.
Yes it is difficult when they cannot love you back. It's been a problem for many beautiful people. What to do with one-sided love?
As a Christian I believe that God put Ryanne in my life for a purpose. If we should be together it will only be if God so wishes it to be, and if she feels the same way. I have to trust in both of them, and have immense hope while I work on myself.
Please, while building me up, don't tear her down. She is still everything to me.
How easy is it to be frustrated when a person hurts your feelings? How easy is it to jump to conclusions and try to tear someone down just because they've done you wrong?
This is something that I must not do myself. I JUST PERSONALLY CAN'T!
I find it awful that when someone hurts another, the damaged individual loses the love they once had. Is our love that American's throw around so haphazardly so weak that we can't take some bruising? Maybe love is like working out: it hurts like hell, but it eventually builds you up to something that was better than before. There is a proper way to do it, and it takes finesse and practice.
I think I definitely was straining myself and Ryanne by putting too much weight on our shoulders.
I admit there are times when I wanted to give up, or have even threatened to do so. I must admit this was incredibly wrong of me. I didn't have the patience to see the problem through, or think about it with a cool head. All I could do was focus on how offended I was, or how wrong it was for her to do ect, ect, ect.
People are not perfect. Not in any regards.
Love is not either. F'ing period. People must come to terms with this.
I've always known this in the back of my mind, and now that everything has hit the fan I have come to terms with it's truth.
If you absolutely, whole heartedly, passionately love someone from the bottom of your heart you cannot turn it off when things get bad.
I don't think I should have to either. So please stop telling me to do so. It isn't helping, and is only pissing me off. If anyone knew the shit Ryanne has been through, especially living with me, they would understand that she's a confusing individual. But I also find that beautiful, captivating, interesting, and riveting. Unfortunately putting the best foot forward isn't easy, but that's life. Loving Ryanne has always taught me that a life worth living will never be easy. What lessons would I ever learn from that? I do know that LOVING Ryanne IS easy. It has always happened easily, and sometimes unavoidably as well. When we first met and we just wanted to be friends I felt that no matter how hard I tried to just be her friend, I kept falling further, and further in love with her. I feel that way right now too, even as I worry that things will never be the same.
Yes it is difficult when they cannot love you back. It's been a problem for many beautiful people. What to do with one-sided love?
As a Christian I believe that God put Ryanne in my life for a purpose. If we should be together it will only be if God so wishes it to be, and if she feels the same way. I have to trust in both of them, and have immense hope while I work on myself.
Please, while building me up, don't tear her down. She is still everything to me.