(no subject)

[akahana]

So as you saw AO was fun but I've only been able to find one picture of myself in costume... which makes me sad. Since then I've been semi-busy doing weird random crap. but I havn't been doing enough of it because I've still been missing Chas like crazy. He left... Sunday morning I went to his house and said goodbye and havn't seen him since. We've still been talking on the phone ALOT and we e-mailed back and for the the first like two days but I still don't know if that made it easier or not... Anyway this is like day four now... I guess it just gets easier from here- like an addiction. I'm actually remarkably better today. Sure I still miss him with every part of me but I'm ok. Last night was horrible but I made it through. I broke my addiction! ^_^ Anywho We're not going to be able to talk much today Oh and did I tell you? He and his mom and everyone said Thursday Thursday Thursday but turns out they're all appearently staying till Friday. Appearently. Chas made me promis befor I planed anything that I have to set asside alot of time to 'talk on the phone with him' Thursday evening. There's a part of me that just won't accept the extra day and says that he'll be back Thursday still. There's another part of me that's supporting the formentioned part by telling me that he's going to suprize me by 'coming home early' ie on time. Then... there's the small part of me that got beat up on the playground that thinks that he won't come back till sometime Friday. And on top of all that I'm determined that he won't even show till Friday evening when I'm working. All the other parts seem more logical but lets just call that last one the loud stupid boisterous one who yells lies that everyone just ignors and mumbles about how stupid they are. But that's the one I'm trying to convince Chas that I agree with whole heartedly. Because then he will feel bad. Because I really am honest to god mean and I am actually making him feel bad for being gone an extra day... but with my luck he'll just not come back. Yeah... so I just 'unveiled my tactics' befor the game was over so watch he'll read this and know everything... ^_^ Oh well maybe that's what I'm going for. SOOooo If and when he comes home on friday it doesn't matter what time he gets back my MOM took friday off. Like I knew she would. She want's me to spend time with her. The FIRST DAY that my boyfriend comes back. Can you say What the FUCK?! CHA! She's all 'You two can just come kiss over here'. LIke THAT'S spending time with me??? Funck NO! I'll be damned if we stay here. Besides she'll have Nolan so she'll be distracted anyway. Oh yeah- so I'm looking in the mirror today and I noticed that I can see like Freakin' ALL of my ribs EXCEPT where my boobs are. Yeah- you can see them just above my boobs too. It's sick. I hate it. I expressed sireous concern to Brittney and Jack anout it and they were like yeah... eat more. Which was the alternative I offered- and they agreed because they trust me with my body. I showed my sister and told her- I need to eat more. She was like yeah... eat more. She mentioned it to mom and mom was all "Tat's what she get's for running herself ragged [blah blah blah]" and giving me this lecture about how I'm turning in to the anorexic Cheerleader (the type I hate)So I was like "WAY TO BE SUPPORTIVE, MOM!"(and I said it all perky like a cheerleader... but dripping with sarcasm) And I'd already mentioned how I need to eat more. So THEN she keeps it up and she's talking about it all through lunch. Like I don't feel shitty about it ENOUGH!!! LET'S CONTINUALY POINT IT OUT!! Make sure I don't **forget** I look like a cancer patient or something. Way to NOT give your daughter a complex mom!

OK well I'd rant more but I have to go to work. I'm going a half an hour early to cover for Skyler. :P appearently it's not an alcohol related sick day.