Change.
Nearing the end of high school, I see even more how startling change can be; how quickly someone can change, and they not even realize it. Or if they realize it, they let it flow. The change may be for better, or it may be for worse. I thought about this when Andrew mentioned an old friend's status to me.... It made me think... It is always our choice to be aware of ourselves and stop or nourish the changes that we pass through. It is always our responsibility to be aware of ourselves and decide what change is good, and what is bad. Sometimes, however, we make the wrong decisions. We may lie to ourselves, or fall into sloth--selfish, lazy gain. I have seen changes in many--in myself included--and, nearing the end of high school, closing the third year and nearing the fourth, I only hope I remain someone that changes, for the most part, for the better.
I am not perfect. I am only human; however, I wish to be aware of myself, I wish to make the choices--since we all have the ability to choose--that lead to change in my favor. It's a big world out there, and there are so many things I have no say over. Some may come and hit me like bullets, or speeding trains. Yet, still, I have the choice to be aware of myself. I must keep my mind sharp, acute, I must open my eyes to the world.
I will not close myself with pride. I want to be unblinded by hate. My belief goes against everything that our human instincts tell me, but once more, I have the ability to choose. The difference between the human race and mere animals is that, truly, we have the ability to go against our instincts. We never can truly escape them--being redundant, we are only human, after all--but we can make change. Little by little, if we believe we have the power to make the difference, then we will surely do so. I will not live my life in a state of bitter dormancy. I am now bitter, but as I am aware, I choose to do what it takes to change.
We must know when to accept, and when to draw the line. I accept that I am bitter and often hateful, but I must draw the line and learn to control it. It is possible. It can be done, and I will do it. And, I also must learn to accept the flaws, the pain, and at the same time reject it, and remain whole. I accept its existance, but I refuse to make it a part of myself. I accept it and remain whole. Or. I try. I will keep trying.
My eyesight is poor, and if I ever go blind, I would be devastated. Yet... I can still see. Even with a blindfold, I can still function. I can change. With my pride and anger that blinds me now, I can still make the choice to open my mind, my hearing, my heart, and learn to accept and draw boundaries so that, truly, my blindfold may eventually fall.
Idealistic? Perhaps; but it is logical that, since humans have the ability to make the choices and change, that I would certainly wish to do so.
Hard. Life is so damn hard. Change... change is a bitch. I hate it. It's so hard... but I'm willing to work... I have to be, I can't let myself or anyone down...
I. Will. Not. Remain. Blind.
I am not perfect. I am only human; however, I wish to be aware of myself, I wish to make the choices--since we all have the ability to choose--that lead to change in my favor. It's a big world out there, and there are so many things I have no say over. Some may come and hit me like bullets, or speeding trains. Yet, still, I have the choice to be aware of myself. I must keep my mind sharp, acute, I must open my eyes to the world.
I will not close myself with pride. I want to be unblinded by hate. My belief goes against everything that our human instincts tell me, but once more, I have the ability to choose. The difference between the human race and mere animals is that, truly, we have the ability to go against our instincts. We never can truly escape them--being redundant, we are only human, after all--but we can make change. Little by little, if we believe we have the power to make the difference, then we will surely do so. I will not live my life in a state of bitter dormancy. I am now bitter, but as I am aware, I choose to do what it takes to change.
We must know when to accept, and when to draw the line. I accept that I am bitter and often hateful, but I must draw the line and learn to control it. It is possible. It can be done, and I will do it. And, I also must learn to accept the flaws, the pain, and at the same time reject it, and remain whole. I accept its existance, but I refuse to make it a part of myself. I accept it and remain whole. Or. I try. I will keep trying.
My eyesight is poor, and if I ever go blind, I would be devastated. Yet... I can still see. Even with a blindfold, I can still function. I can change. With my pride and anger that blinds me now, I can still make the choice to open my mind, my hearing, my heart, and learn to accept and draw boundaries so that, truly, my blindfold may eventually fall.
Idealistic? Perhaps; but it is logical that, since humans have the ability to make the choices and change, that I would certainly wish to do so.
Hard. Life is so damn hard. Change... change is a bitch. I hate it. It's so hard... but I'm willing to work... I have to be, I can't let myself or anyone down...
I. Will. Not. Remain. Blind.