(no subject)
Im sleepy but I feel obligated to write something. I tried to Tumble this morning, but I have the inspiration of a sock. Not even a nice stripped sock. Just a plain coloured, regular sock.
This can only mean one thing. I'm happy. When I'm happy, all creative vibes go out the window. It's the first symptom, followed by excessive amounts of smiling and more recently, giggling.
Things are just good right now. And I'm appreciating how good they are because for the longest time they weren't good. Work is back at a managable level. They've changed our roster. Extended our hours, but given us a longer lunch break. It's amazing how much I do with an hour off in the middle of my work day. I'm overall happier and easier to deal with.
Last night I slept almost eight hours and yesterday I slept two hours in the middle of the day. I came home with nasty period pain. Thats my other rule. If Im not feeling well, I come home. I've been making wayyyy too many mistakes lately because I was sick for so god damn long.
And then of course there's the Melissa thing. Each time I've dated someone in the past recently I've started out by saying "Wow this girl is really different. This time it will really mean something." I'm trying to avoid that now. Even though at times I wonder if she somehow rolled directly off a list of things I want in another person. The other night we were lying in bed and she started rubbing my back and shoulders. I melted almost straight away, wondering why on earth it felt soooo good. And then I remembered, noone has done that since I was 19.
I've been in so many relationships and situations now. And almost all of them I have chased and looked after and stretched myself thin. I feel like all I've done is given things and lost parts of myself to try and keep another person happy. I don't feel like that with her. Things are so give and take between us. It's the simplest of things too. I came out of the bathroom the other night. I've had period pain for two days. She'd gotten me a glass of water and left it beside the bed. I climbed in and she hugged me and rubbed my stomach because she knew I wasn't feeling well. She askes about my day and actually listens when I answer. She reaches for my hand. She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my face. She emails me sweet things when Im at work.
The biggest danger I face right now is taking her for granted. It's nice to just sit back and take it all in. After never really receiving this kind of attention its easy to just bask in it. I try to avoid that though. I know Im more reserved with her. But I tell her what Im feeling. And she stayed over the other night so I made sure I had tea for her breakfast and milk. Even though I don't drink those things. I think at the end of the day we respect and appreciate each other. I'm really enjoying this feeling and I hope it lasts.
Anyways... shower time.
This can only mean one thing. I'm happy. When I'm happy, all creative vibes go out the window. It's the first symptom, followed by excessive amounts of smiling and more recently, giggling.
Things are just good right now. And I'm appreciating how good they are because for the longest time they weren't good. Work is back at a managable level. They've changed our roster. Extended our hours, but given us a longer lunch break. It's amazing how much I do with an hour off in the middle of my work day. I'm overall happier and easier to deal with.
Last night I slept almost eight hours and yesterday I slept two hours in the middle of the day. I came home with nasty period pain. Thats my other rule. If Im not feeling well, I come home. I've been making wayyyy too many mistakes lately because I was sick for so god damn long.
And then of course there's the Melissa thing. Each time I've dated someone in the past recently I've started out by saying "Wow this girl is really different. This time it will really mean something." I'm trying to avoid that now. Even though at times I wonder if she somehow rolled directly off a list of things I want in another person. The other night we were lying in bed and she started rubbing my back and shoulders. I melted almost straight away, wondering why on earth it felt soooo good. And then I remembered, noone has done that since I was 19.
I've been in so many relationships and situations now. And almost all of them I have chased and looked after and stretched myself thin. I feel like all I've done is given things and lost parts of myself to try and keep another person happy. I don't feel like that with her. Things are so give and take between us. It's the simplest of things too. I came out of the bathroom the other night. I've had period pain for two days. She'd gotten me a glass of water and left it beside the bed. I climbed in and she hugged me and rubbed my stomach because she knew I wasn't feeling well. She askes about my day and actually listens when I answer. She reaches for my hand. She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my face. She emails me sweet things when Im at work.
The biggest danger I face right now is taking her for granted. It's nice to just sit back and take it all in. After never really receiving this kind of attention its easy to just bask in it. I try to avoid that though. I know Im more reserved with her. But I tell her what Im feeling. And she stayed over the other night so I made sure I had tea for her breakfast and milk. Even though I don't drink those things. I think at the end of the day we respect and appreciate each other. I'm really enjoying this feeling and I hope it lasts.
Anyways... shower time.