The Official Fried Chicken Post: REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!
Hi, this post is all about fried chicken, GREASY FRIED CHICKEN. This post is awesome. My name is Mike and I can't stop thinking about fried chicken. Fried chicken is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Facts:
1. Fried Chicken is greasy
2. Fried Chicken gives me gas.
3. The purpose of Fried Chicken is to eat it with beer until you pass out with a half-eaten leg in your hand.
Weapons and Gear:
- leg
- wing
- breast
Testimonial:
Fried chicken has healing powers. A friend once told me they use it in Africa to cure cancer but it hasn't been FDA approved yet. And my mom told me her college roommate's ex-boyfriend once ate some fried chicken and then saw this car accident, and he ran over and picked up this car off of this guy and saved his life with super-human strength.
AND THAT'S WHAT I CALL REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!!!!!!
Fried is always greasy and good. It's SOOOOO good I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. Fried Chicken can be eaten anytime, anywhere. It is great when eaten with biscuits and beer. This one time my friend Mark had some fried chicken and his head exploded it was so good. And then I got to eat the rest of his fried chicken, and it was so good, my head exploded too. I love fried chicken with all of my body (including my pee pee).
Q&A:
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed with fried chicken?
A: Fried chicken is so good it is secretly put in all food to make it taste better. Even tofu, you vegetarian tree-hugging jackasses. In fact, it's so good, I'm eating it right now.
Q: I heard fried chicken gives you high colesterol. What's the deal with that?
A: Whoever told you that is a complete liar and just hates fried chicken because they're jealous of its awesomeness. It was probably a rumor started by the cows. Never believe a cow.
Q: What does chicken look like before it gets fried?
A: Nothing. It's born that way, like mana from God. Stop asking questions you flippant twat.
(special thanks to Tim Moore for reminding me about this)
Facts:
1. Fried Chicken is greasy
2. Fried Chicken gives me gas.
3. The purpose of Fried Chicken is to eat it with beer until you pass out with a half-eaten leg in your hand.
Weapons and Gear:
- leg
- wing
- breast
Testimonial:
Fried chicken has healing powers. A friend once told me they use it in Africa to cure cancer but it hasn't been FDA approved yet. And my mom told me her college roommate's ex-boyfriend once ate some fried chicken and then saw this car accident, and he ran over and picked up this car off of this guy and saved his life with super-human strength.
AND THAT'S WHAT I CALL REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!!!!!!!
Fried is always greasy and good. It's SOOOOO good I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. Fried Chicken can be eaten anytime, anywhere. It is great when eaten with biscuits and beer. This one time my friend Mark had some fried chicken and his head exploded it was so good. And then I got to eat the rest of his fried chicken, and it was so good, my head exploded too. I love fried chicken with all of my body (including my pee pee).
Q&A:
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed with fried chicken?
A: Fried chicken is so good it is secretly put in all food to make it taste better. Even tofu, you vegetarian tree-hugging jackasses. In fact, it's so good, I'm eating it right now.
Q: I heard fried chicken gives you high colesterol. What's the deal with that?
A: Whoever told you that is a complete liar and just hates fried chicken because they're jealous of its awesomeness. It was probably a rumor started by the cows. Never believe a cow.
Q: What does chicken look like before it gets fried?
A: Nothing. It's born that way, like mana from God. Stop asking questions you flippant twat.
(special thanks to Tim Moore for reminding me about this)