living the dream (ii)
dong bang shin ki; changmin/yunho
aokis
word count: 7,013
rating: pg-13
brittleness is not something one would connect to shim changmin’s detached symbiosis, seeing that pressure and failure have already severed him into pieces littered in complex skies. one of the smaller parts that’s left hopes to rediscover extension and support in the form of yunho.
the last official day of their collaboration has changmin and yunho completely immersed in triple-checking every part of the plane. the hangar door is left open again, welcome for more warmth and life to light up the usually secluded form of escape. it still does none to settle changmin’s nerves, as they always are in disarray whenever a model is finished. his subconscious (and borderline post-traumatic stress weaved through his anxiety) never fails to leave himself satisfied with his work.
not like he’s ever satisfied with anything else, however; the opportunity of being granted with happiness (forgiveness) leaves a yearning, unreachable hesitancy in his slow steps.
“changmin, relax.” yunho pokes changmin in the cheek to get an acceptable reaction. “i think we’ve memorized every part of this plane by now.”
changmin does give yunho the reaction he wants, scrunching up his nose and twitching his fingers instead of batting at yunho with curled fingers. “just want to be sure,” he grumbles, acting petulant to hide the anxiety clouding his judgement.
changmin’s eyes widen when he feels fingers ruffling his hair. he looks up at yunho’s soft grin and feels his breath catch that is unnoticed by yunho when he replies. “which is why you have a second opinion around, to make sure for you.”
a smile pulls changmin’s own lips up by the corners automatically, something he isn’t able to fight against when yunho is around. he nods in response, letting the air move through his vocal chords again.
“the meeting and review is tonight at eight with the bosses.” yunho is stacking empty buckets and boxes into a neat area on the other side of the hangar.
he whirls around when changmin snorts, signing his own paperwork at his desk to take responsibility for the craft and to jot down the repairs made. “should be interesting enough. they better be content.”
“i told you before, they’d be stupid not to be.” yunho hums as he continues flittering about the hangar to sweep away any mess and discord present.
the hand placed on the dotted line of one of changmin’s agreements stills. the only hesitation he encompasses is the one out of bittersweet anticipation and oversensitivity. “yunho?”
if yunho is surprised at the first time changmin instigates, he hides it well. “hm?”
changmin fixates his gaze on the newly corrected vertical stabilizer. “i know i’m not quite the easiest person to deal with, but… thank you.”
yunho’s lips press together, seemingly holding feelings inside that mystify changmin. “for what, exactly?”
“all of your hard work,” is what changmin comes up with, caught off guard by the question. who would question an appraisal’s origin?
tingly sparkles! is what changmin’s (very unhelpful) inner filter describes the shiny warmth resonating from yunho’s eyes. “anytime, changmin.”
not only does changmin briefly forget it’s wintertime (maybe christmas magic or miracles do exist), but he also is blissfully free of harsh criticism, anxiety, failure. he feels balanced.
as the sun slowly sets, yunho takes a moment to pat at the aircraft before following changmin out of the hangar. once the door is locked, they begin to make their way towards the office washrooms to change into more appropriate clothing to sign the deal. it knocks changmin’s composure off-kilter when his mind wanders to the stall next to him, where he knows yunho is stripping and changing; his hands shake as he buttons up his dress shirt, his breath intensely vulnerable.
yunho looks just as good as changmin’s mind had conjured up, which inverts him into shyness for the first time in a few days since they’ve been working together. it does, however, make his subconscious feel better when yunho seems to be slightly affected as well.
no words are spoken between them on the way to the restaurant. changmin’s hands are shoved deep into his pockets, fingers balled up. he has no idea what to say to yunho, no idea what is tactful or tactless. he thinks about saying something along the lines of thanks for working with me, but what he really wants to say (and will never admit to wanting to say) is i’ll miss you.
he ends up saying nothing by the time they reach the restaurant, but finds himself speechless anyways when yunho automatically opens the door for him with a warm smile. the blast of heat he feels has nothing to do with the sudden molding of temperatures in the restaurant.
“changmin-sshi, yunho-sshi.” the man from last time coaxes them over to the table filled with the other two men and changmin’s supervisor with a smile. “always perfectly on time. have a seat.”
changmin immediately takes the empty seat across from the man, irresistibly tempted to glare him down, which leaves yunho with the end seat beside changmin. he pats changmin’s forearm gently under the table and gains a little bit of relaxation from the other in return.
“care for anything to drink?” the man asks, teeth showing as he holds the drinks menu towards the pair, “the wine is excellent here.”
“no, thank you,” changmin replies, expectant and hard-edged. “if it’s quite alright with you in understanding my position, i’d like to hear the results and your company’s side of the offer.”
clicking his tongue in disappointment at changmin, the man turns to yunho with a more forceful and dangerous smile. “yunho-sshi, you’ll have a drink, won’t you?”
“yes, sir.” yunho is quiet and meek, not a thing similar to himself in the hangar. it aggravates changmin deeply, prompting him to place his hand on top of yunho’s subconsciously. yunho’s cheeks flush, and changmin notes that yunho’s eyes tell him that he wants nothing more but to escape from the table.
the man finally passes three stapled packages across the table towards yunho and changmin once the drinks have been ordered. “the first one is for yunho-sshi to sign, the second for changmin-sshi, and the third requires both of you.”
changmin fights the urge to grab yunho’s package to read through it, and skims through the pages of his own. surprisingly, everything averagely meets his standards, and he signs quickly. when he turns to look at yunho’s progress, he notices the faint hesitancy in his trembling fingers. it’s subtle, but it’s there.
once everything is signed and returned, the man chuckles, which prompts the other men to follow suit and his manager a second later, nervous and awkwardly loud. changmin realizes he’s the only one at the table who does not feel inferior.
“i’m very happy to see that you two have worked together efficiently and properly.” the man works on his third glass of wine of the evening and is unaware of the flush in his cheeks and the sweat beading across his forehead. “you know, changmin-ah, yunho is usually quite content with his client list, but he fought me to assign him to your craft.”
“s-sir,” yunho stumbles, eyes frightened.
changmin keeps yunho in his corner view, but raises an eyebrow at the man and tries to ignore the knots tying bigger knots in his stomach. “is that so?”
the man nods at the same time yunho turns a hard gaze on changmin, and continues. “you probably haven’t heard much about yunho’s previous work as an inspector, but it’s honestly quite a shame the way things turned out.”
yunho grows more and more horrified by the second, but changmin finds himself too enthralled in these details to pay much attention if there’s any chance he’s been lied to. “how so?”
after finishing the third glass, the man explains with a grin, “yunho was going to become an engineer a few years before he started work as an inspector for us, and it would have been great to have an engineer on our team. he never finished his degree, though.” he sighed in disappointment, blinking at changmin. “he never told you any of this?”
changmin feels like he should brace himself, even though he can see yunho visibly shaking beside him. “not at all.”
with a quick glance at yunho, the man’s grin seems to widen. “what a shame. two years ago, he was in a terrible plane crash on his way to taipei.” he rubs his chin with two fingers, thinking, and changmin’s blood freezes. “what was the flight number, damned if i could remember.”
the moment changmin opens his mouth to test the different wires for the resulting outlet, his voice cracks on the way out in a soft, flat tone. the knots tie themselves tighter. “was it flight 321?”
“that’s it!” the man snaps his fingers immediately after changmin’s voice, and smiles like he’s won the lottery. “one of the weirdest crashes i’ve ever heard of, to be honest. the pilot of that plane must have been one hell of a flier.” the other two men nod in agreement, and changmin feels the rest of himself freeze. “yunho told us when we hired him on that he decided to go the route of inspection instead, to show his gratitude and respect to that pilot’s dedication to saving lives, ‘no matter the broken state of the vessel’, if i recall correctly.”
there is full, insensitive laughter at the table for a few seconds, ringing in changmin’s ears, when yunho suddenly stands up, almost turning his chair over. he looks pale and changmin panics when he sees tears well up in the eyes he’s used to seeing strength and optimism brimmed with.
it’s quiet during the time it takes for yunho to compose himself enough to get out, thick and intensely ashamed, “thank you for letting me be a part of this deal, sir. i’m going to head home now.” he bows, a single tear falling from an eye, and is gone out the door.
changmin’s reaction time is slow. his mind is whirling, and he can barely make out the rest of the presence at the table. everything yunho had told him, had done, knew, and had said colour-codes changmin’s concluding wires to their proper outlets. he moves to curl his fingers together when, in a shock, realizes that his coffee mug isn’t his lifeline or eternal support anymore.
“yunho,” he murmurs, up and gone from the table in seconds. when he blows through the restaurant door, he feels like he’s ascending through tough atmospheres. he catches the unmistakable sight of yunho retreating down the street, and takes off after him, too fast to leave a cloud stream behind him.
he follows yunho to cheonggyecheon, slowing to a walk and cautiously approaching yunho’s shaking figure leaning forwards on the railing. he grips his controls steadily through turbulence, and pulls yunho to face him when he hears soft sobs.
yunho meets his eyes with fear and sadness, tear tracks down his cheeks. heart clenching at the sight, changmin pulls yunho into a tight embrace and finally, everything glides into place.
“i didn’t mean to lie to you,” yunho sobs into changmin’s shoulder, broken word after word falling out, “i promise i wasn’t trying to stalk you or anything. you saved my life that day, and i’ll never forget the look on your face when you helped me out of the plane, out of that nightmare. i wanted to do something with my life to make your job easier, safer.”
changmin threads his fingers through yunho’s hair and closes his eyes to stop his own tears from forming as yunho continues. “when i saw your name on the potential client list, i… i had to take the chance to see you, work with you, after hearing about your quitting from flying. i wanted to make sure you knew that there is one person in this world that will always be your wingman, whether it's from up close or afar.” after a shaky breath and struggle to recover himself, yunho bursts into sobs again. “i’m sorry, changmin.”
the knots in changmin’s stomach unravel and stretch out into long, fine lines of wisp, preparing to descend. he pulls yunho’s face out of his shoulder to meet his eyes, wipes away yunho’s tears and says with more passion and fire than any explosion could produce, “you’re so much more than just my wingman, yunho. i know you better than you think i do.”
as yunho blinks confused eyes at him and the rapid descend begins, changmin lurches forward and presses a kiss that lasts at the speed of light against yunho’s lips before pulling back. they stare at each other for long moments of time.
when changmin swallows and feels the lines about to snap, yunho lets out a sudden noise of incredulous, unrestrained laughter, pulls changmin to him and latches their mouths together just as the lines touch the ground, turn into curves of people showcasing relieved smiles, kissing their loved ones just the same, more than content to be alive and filling changmin’s heart.
they only part long enough to take breaths, even then still pressed close to each other, eyes closed and noses touching, when yunho whispers, “merry christmas.”
with yunho’s arms tight around his middle, changmin consciously finds himself looking up and into the sky, relishing in the twinkle all around him. he curls his fingers around yunho’s shoulders and sends wishes for the best of his own above the surface of the stars.
even if he isn’t sure whether christmas or miracles exist, changmin is sure that yunho is his constant reminder to live in the clouds.
aokis
word count: 7,013
rating: pg-13
brittleness is not something one would connect to shim changmin’s detached symbiosis, seeing that pressure and failure have already severed him into pieces littered in complex skies. one of the smaller parts that’s left hopes to rediscover extension and support in the form of yunho.
the last official day of their collaboration has changmin and yunho completely immersed in triple-checking every part of the plane. the hangar door is left open again, welcome for more warmth and life to light up the usually secluded form of escape. it still does none to settle changmin’s nerves, as they always are in disarray whenever a model is finished. his subconscious (and borderline post-traumatic stress weaved through his anxiety) never fails to leave himself satisfied with his work.
not like he’s ever satisfied with anything else, however; the opportunity of being granted with happiness (forgiveness) leaves a yearning, unreachable hesitancy in his slow steps.
“changmin, relax.” yunho pokes changmin in the cheek to get an acceptable reaction. “i think we’ve memorized every part of this plane by now.”
changmin does give yunho the reaction he wants, scrunching up his nose and twitching his fingers instead of batting at yunho with curled fingers. “just want to be sure,” he grumbles, acting petulant to hide the anxiety clouding his judgement.
changmin’s eyes widen when he feels fingers ruffling his hair. he looks up at yunho’s soft grin and feels his breath catch that is unnoticed by yunho when he replies. “which is why you have a second opinion around, to make sure for you.”
a smile pulls changmin’s own lips up by the corners automatically, something he isn’t able to fight against when yunho is around. he nods in response, letting the air move through his vocal chords again.
“the meeting and review is tonight at eight with the bosses.” yunho is stacking empty buckets and boxes into a neat area on the other side of the hangar.
he whirls around when changmin snorts, signing his own paperwork at his desk to take responsibility for the craft and to jot down the repairs made. “should be interesting enough. they better be content.”
“i told you before, they’d be stupid not to be.” yunho hums as he continues flittering about the hangar to sweep away any mess and discord present.
the hand placed on the dotted line of one of changmin’s agreements stills. the only hesitation he encompasses is the one out of bittersweet anticipation and oversensitivity. “yunho?”
if yunho is surprised at the first time changmin instigates, he hides it well. “hm?”
changmin fixates his gaze on the newly corrected vertical stabilizer. “i know i’m not quite the easiest person to deal with, but… thank you.”
yunho’s lips press together, seemingly holding feelings inside that mystify changmin. “for what, exactly?”
“all of your hard work,” is what changmin comes up with, caught off guard by the question. who would question an appraisal’s origin?
tingly sparkles! is what changmin’s (very unhelpful) inner filter describes the shiny warmth resonating from yunho’s eyes. “anytime, changmin.”
not only does changmin briefly forget it’s wintertime (maybe christmas magic or miracles do exist), but he also is blissfully free of harsh criticism, anxiety, failure. he feels balanced.
as the sun slowly sets, yunho takes a moment to pat at the aircraft before following changmin out of the hangar. once the door is locked, they begin to make their way towards the office washrooms to change into more appropriate clothing to sign the deal. it knocks changmin’s composure off-kilter when his mind wanders to the stall next to him, where he knows yunho is stripping and changing; his hands shake as he buttons up his dress shirt, his breath intensely vulnerable.
yunho looks just as good as changmin’s mind had conjured up, which inverts him into shyness for the first time in a few days since they’ve been working together. it does, however, make his subconscious feel better when yunho seems to be slightly affected as well.
no words are spoken between them on the way to the restaurant. changmin’s hands are shoved deep into his pockets, fingers balled up. he has no idea what to say to yunho, no idea what is tactful or tactless. he thinks about saying something along the lines of thanks for working with me, but what he really wants to say (and will never admit to wanting to say) is i’ll miss you.
he ends up saying nothing by the time they reach the restaurant, but finds himself speechless anyways when yunho automatically opens the door for him with a warm smile. the blast of heat he feels has nothing to do with the sudden molding of temperatures in the restaurant.
“changmin-sshi, yunho-sshi.” the man from last time coaxes them over to the table filled with the other two men and changmin’s supervisor with a smile. “always perfectly on time. have a seat.”
changmin immediately takes the empty seat across from the man, irresistibly tempted to glare him down, which leaves yunho with the end seat beside changmin. he pats changmin’s forearm gently under the table and gains a little bit of relaxation from the other in return.
“care for anything to drink?” the man asks, teeth showing as he holds the drinks menu towards the pair, “the wine is excellent here.”
“no, thank you,” changmin replies, expectant and hard-edged. “if it’s quite alright with you in understanding my position, i’d like to hear the results and your company’s side of the offer.”
clicking his tongue in disappointment at changmin, the man turns to yunho with a more forceful and dangerous smile. “yunho-sshi, you’ll have a drink, won’t you?”
“yes, sir.” yunho is quiet and meek, not a thing similar to himself in the hangar. it aggravates changmin deeply, prompting him to place his hand on top of yunho’s subconsciously. yunho’s cheeks flush, and changmin notes that yunho’s eyes tell him that he wants nothing more but to escape from the table.
the man finally passes three stapled packages across the table towards yunho and changmin once the drinks have been ordered. “the first one is for yunho-sshi to sign, the second for changmin-sshi, and the third requires both of you.”
changmin fights the urge to grab yunho’s package to read through it, and skims through the pages of his own. surprisingly, everything averagely meets his standards, and he signs quickly. when he turns to look at yunho’s progress, he notices the faint hesitancy in his trembling fingers. it’s subtle, but it’s there.
once everything is signed and returned, the man chuckles, which prompts the other men to follow suit and his manager a second later, nervous and awkwardly loud. changmin realizes he’s the only one at the table who does not feel inferior.
“i’m very happy to see that you two have worked together efficiently and properly.” the man works on his third glass of wine of the evening and is unaware of the flush in his cheeks and the sweat beading across his forehead. “you know, changmin-ah, yunho is usually quite content with his client list, but he fought me to assign him to your craft.”
“s-sir,” yunho stumbles, eyes frightened.
changmin keeps yunho in his corner view, but raises an eyebrow at the man and tries to ignore the knots tying bigger knots in his stomach. “is that so?”
the man nods at the same time yunho turns a hard gaze on changmin, and continues. “you probably haven’t heard much about yunho’s previous work as an inspector, but it’s honestly quite a shame the way things turned out.”
yunho grows more and more horrified by the second, but changmin finds himself too enthralled in these details to pay much attention if there’s any chance he’s been lied to. “how so?”
after finishing the third glass, the man explains with a grin, “yunho was going to become an engineer a few years before he started work as an inspector for us, and it would have been great to have an engineer on our team. he never finished his degree, though.” he sighed in disappointment, blinking at changmin. “he never told you any of this?”
changmin feels like he should brace himself, even though he can see yunho visibly shaking beside him. “not at all.”
with a quick glance at yunho, the man’s grin seems to widen. “what a shame. two years ago, he was in a terrible plane crash on his way to taipei.” he rubs his chin with two fingers, thinking, and changmin’s blood freezes. “what was the flight number, damned if i could remember.”
the moment changmin opens his mouth to test the different wires for the resulting outlet, his voice cracks on the way out in a soft, flat tone. the knots tie themselves tighter. “was it flight 321?”
“that’s it!” the man snaps his fingers immediately after changmin’s voice, and smiles like he’s won the lottery. “one of the weirdest crashes i’ve ever heard of, to be honest. the pilot of that plane must have been one hell of a flier.” the other two men nod in agreement, and changmin feels the rest of himself freeze. “yunho told us when we hired him on that he decided to go the route of inspection instead, to show his gratitude and respect to that pilot’s dedication to saving lives, ‘no matter the broken state of the vessel’, if i recall correctly.”
there is full, insensitive laughter at the table for a few seconds, ringing in changmin’s ears, when yunho suddenly stands up, almost turning his chair over. he looks pale and changmin panics when he sees tears well up in the eyes he’s used to seeing strength and optimism brimmed with.
it’s quiet during the time it takes for yunho to compose himself enough to get out, thick and intensely ashamed, “thank you for letting me be a part of this deal, sir. i’m going to head home now.” he bows, a single tear falling from an eye, and is gone out the door.
changmin’s reaction time is slow. his mind is whirling, and he can barely make out the rest of the presence at the table. everything yunho had told him, had done, knew, and had said colour-codes changmin’s concluding wires to their proper outlets. he moves to curl his fingers together when, in a shock, realizes that his coffee mug isn’t his lifeline or eternal support anymore.
“yunho,” he murmurs, up and gone from the table in seconds. when he blows through the restaurant door, he feels like he’s ascending through tough atmospheres. he catches the unmistakable sight of yunho retreating down the street, and takes off after him, too fast to leave a cloud stream behind him.
he follows yunho to cheonggyecheon, slowing to a walk and cautiously approaching yunho’s shaking figure leaning forwards on the railing. he grips his controls steadily through turbulence, and pulls yunho to face him when he hears soft sobs.
yunho meets his eyes with fear and sadness, tear tracks down his cheeks. heart clenching at the sight, changmin pulls yunho into a tight embrace and finally, everything glides into place.
“i didn’t mean to lie to you,” yunho sobs into changmin’s shoulder, broken word after word falling out, “i promise i wasn’t trying to stalk you or anything. you saved my life that day, and i’ll never forget the look on your face when you helped me out of the plane, out of that nightmare. i wanted to do something with my life to make your job easier, safer.”
changmin threads his fingers through yunho’s hair and closes his eyes to stop his own tears from forming as yunho continues. “when i saw your name on the potential client list, i… i had to take the chance to see you, work with you, after hearing about your quitting from flying. i wanted to make sure you knew that there is one person in this world that will always be your wingman, whether it's from up close or afar.” after a shaky breath and struggle to recover himself, yunho bursts into sobs again. “i’m sorry, changmin.”
the knots in changmin’s stomach unravel and stretch out into long, fine lines of wisp, preparing to descend. he pulls yunho’s face out of his shoulder to meet his eyes, wipes away yunho’s tears and says with more passion and fire than any explosion could produce, “you’re so much more than just my wingman, yunho. i know you better than you think i do.”
as yunho blinks confused eyes at him and the rapid descend begins, changmin lurches forward and presses a kiss that lasts at the speed of light against yunho’s lips before pulling back. they stare at each other for long moments of time.
when changmin swallows and feels the lines about to snap, yunho lets out a sudden noise of incredulous, unrestrained laughter, pulls changmin to him and latches their mouths together just as the lines touch the ground, turn into curves of people showcasing relieved smiles, kissing their loved ones just the same, more than content to be alive and filling changmin’s heart.
they only part long enough to take breaths, even then still pressed close to each other, eyes closed and noses touching, when yunho whispers, “merry christmas.”
with yunho’s arms tight around his middle, changmin consciously finds himself looking up and into the sky, relishing in the twinkle all around him. he curls his fingers around yunho’s shoulders and sends wishes for the best of his own above the surface of the stars.
even if he isn’t sure whether christmas or miracles exist, changmin is sure that yunho is his constant reminder to live in the clouds.