What Next?
Whew. I got home to find my poor darling sick as a dog. Becca was a sweetie, so he could doze and I could give rubses. Men sick are soooo pathetic, but it sure sparks my mommy-mode, so I guess I don't mind. I've been pathetically sick often enough to know all I wanted was someone to take care of me when I'm feeling so awful, so I'm glad I could indulge him with love in the midst of his misery. I just hope he takes care of himself today while I'm away. Too often I get home to learn he's had little or nothing to eat all day because "he was too busy" or some other nonsense.
My heart cry yesterday was sparked oddly enough by talking (emailing back and forth) with my mother about her health and my fears for her. That emotion ripped the scab off of a different vat of emotion I had thought thoroughly vented before, silly me. I hadn't actually typed out what exactly I'm mourning for myself, and I need to do it again sometime this weekend when I have the early morning hours alone. I seem to be able to lay it out better when I can type it. Writing is too slow but talking is too fast. :-P
*sigh* I think my denial stage was a month long, and it's gonna get rocky for bit here. :-P I know "this too shall pass" but I get impatient with the irrational side of me. I usually like my warm fuzzy, and I need to remember to love her in her raging wails, instead of shushing her. We'll get through this.
My heart cry yesterday was sparked oddly enough by talking (emailing back and forth) with my mother about her health and my fears for her. That emotion ripped the scab off of a different vat of emotion I had thought thoroughly vented before, silly me. I hadn't actually typed out what exactly I'm mourning for myself, and I need to do it again sometime this weekend when I have the early morning hours alone. I seem to be able to lay it out better when I can type it. Writing is too slow but talking is too fast. :-P
*sigh* I think my denial stage was a month long, and it's gonna get rocky for bit here. :-P I know "this too shall pass" but I get impatient with the irrational side of me. I usually like my warm fuzzy, and I need to remember to love her in her raging wails, instead of shushing her. We'll get through this.