To my lover, Santa...'s wife? What the hell.
Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In October I punched envious_tink in the arm (-10 points). In September I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last Wednesday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, shybut_inspired (-5000 points). In June I helped kelseyssexslave across the street (6 points). Last Tuesday yearninsunshine and I robbed a bank (-50 points). And yesterday I slept with your new 20 year old wife. :)
Overall, I've been naughty (-5060 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!
Sincerely,
Aka_jesus