(no subject)
I can feel the foundation wavering beneath my feet. As my layers of responsibility and care are crumbling away, I can't help but to question whether this is the right time for this kind of collapse. Let's face it: I got into college, my band won, I am going to Italy next month and underneath all of this high school classes are like black ice on the sidewalk. So I am not sure why I am so hesitant to duck out of school after midterms and move on to something new. Is it that I am scared of responsibility falling to the wayside and losing all the structure that has become the norm? Or maybe I am afraid of walking out on friendly acquaintances, a sense of completion and all the things that make senior year in high school okay. Why am I not dancing for joy in some kind of utopian field due to the fact I have the possibility of limitless freedom, something that I could only speculate and dream about a year ago? What is the fucking problem. This is an easy decision, right?