Hello, you've reached the Police Department's voice mail
Pay close attention as we update choises often as new and unusual circumstances arive. Please select one of the following options:
To wine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created, press 1
To inquire as to if someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2
To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying to keep you neighborhood safe, press 3
If you'd like us to raise your children, press 4
If you'd like us to take control of your life, due to your chemical dependency, press 5
If you'd like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6
To provide a list of officers you personally know, so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7
To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge, or to proclaim that our career is over, press 8
To wine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for police, rather than keeping your dumb ass in line, press 9
Please note, your call may be monitored to ensure proper customer support, and remember, we are here to save your butt's, not kiss them.
Thank you and have a nice day.
To wine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created, press 1
To inquire as to if someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2
To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying to keep you neighborhood safe, press 3
If you'd like us to raise your children, press 4
If you'd like us to take control of your life, due to your chemical dependency, press 5
If you'd like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6
To provide a list of officers you personally know, so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7
To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge, or to proclaim that our career is over, press 8
To wine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses for police, rather than keeping your dumb ass in line, press 9
Please note, your call may be monitored to ensure proper customer support, and remember, we are here to save your butt's, not kiss them.
Thank you and have a nice day.