Phone Call.
I got a phone call from Amy-j tonight after the movie.
She said hello, and then put on one of her sister's friends. He then asked me how I was, and if I was dating someone else.
I asked to speak to amy. She said hello, then put heather on the phone. She also asked how I was doing. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me it was because I didn't want to hang out with her one day. I apologized.
I asked about Amy, heather told me that "Amy said 'Hell no I don't wanna talk to him'" and hung up.
Let's examine.
Right off the bat I'm asked if I'm with someone else. Curious anyone?
I'm told by _heather_ that amy doesn't want to talk to me.
Which I suppose is true, since she didn't.
But she called _me_.
Now, for those of you who have known me for any amount of time, you should know how I react to things. Let me digress to address my reactions, then I will refocus on why this is relative to the main subject of this post.
I am very black and white when it comes to my emotions and reactions. There are very few gray Areas. Normally when I react, I exxagerate my concern. I don't get as mad as I may outwardly react, and then it's over in about 10 seconds. That's if I even get roused by whatever it may be. If I don't care about something, or someone who made me mad, I'm more likely to be roused. If I care, then I'm going to let it blow over and pass. I don't want to cause unescessary rifts in friendship.
For instance, I may yell at a driver on the street, and then forget about it seconds later
And then be taken advantage of, or leeched off of, or cancelled on at the last minute, and I'll keep my mouth shut.
However.
If someone that I care about does something consistantly, or dramatically against me, with no reasonable explanation; There will be Anger.
This anger does not pass, or blow over. It's all those things that I've been ignoring before. I now have decided that you are intentionally, or even unintentionally fucking me over. But you see, I realize that time and words can hurt much worse than you can do to me.
For those of you who know Daniel D, and the talk I had with him; you know what I'm talking about.
I don't actively seek out revenge. I'm not a revengeful person. I do however, beleive in justice. I also beleive that karma can actively justify more things than I can.
But more than revenge, and more than justice, are my words. I am patient. And during this time, I'm going to figure out exactly what it is I have to say to you. I will make it as sharp as I think it needs to be. It is my own personal justice. It is my way of moving on. I will have said my peace.
Now, back to the main subject. I care for Amy. I've been praying for amy. I will continue to do that no matter how mad I may get.
However. She's starting to work up a case against herself. There are things that I will tell her one day. Right now, it would be pointless and ineffective. Right now it is not 'sharp' nor hurtful or mean. But this is all starting to make me...agitated.
I am aware that there are jokes being made at my expense. And I am aware that intentionally, or unintentionally, she is perpetuating this. By her actions she is beginning to burn the bridge that I'm holding up. I'm holding it up still because I have faith in her. And while I am aware there may never be a future there, I know she's a good person inside. I'm hanging on to the beleif that this is a "phase" or what not. She's 16, and that comes with the territory. I knew it from the beginning. If this keeps up though, she will not only have burned her bridge to a good friend, but she will be dead to me, and cut off from my world. I don't have the time, effort, or care for stupid drama.
That about sums it up.
She said hello, and then put on one of her sister's friends. He then asked me how I was, and if I was dating someone else.
I asked to speak to amy. She said hello, then put heather on the phone. She also asked how I was doing. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me it was because I didn't want to hang out with her one day. I apologized.
I asked about Amy, heather told me that "Amy said 'Hell no I don't wanna talk to him'" and hung up.
Let's examine.
Right off the bat I'm asked if I'm with someone else. Curious anyone?
I'm told by _heather_ that amy doesn't want to talk to me.
Which I suppose is true, since she didn't.
But she called _me_.
Now, for those of you who have known me for any amount of time, you should know how I react to things. Let me digress to address my reactions, then I will refocus on why this is relative to the main subject of this post.
I am very black and white when it comes to my emotions and reactions. There are very few gray Areas. Normally when I react, I exxagerate my concern. I don't get as mad as I may outwardly react, and then it's over in about 10 seconds. That's if I even get roused by whatever it may be. If I don't care about something, or someone who made me mad, I'm more likely to be roused. If I care, then I'm going to let it blow over and pass. I don't want to cause unescessary rifts in friendship.
For instance, I may yell at a driver on the street, and then forget about it seconds later
And then be taken advantage of, or leeched off of, or cancelled on at the last minute, and I'll keep my mouth shut.
However.
If someone that I care about does something consistantly, or dramatically against me, with no reasonable explanation; There will be Anger.
This anger does not pass, or blow over. It's all those things that I've been ignoring before. I now have decided that you are intentionally, or even unintentionally fucking me over. But you see, I realize that time and words can hurt much worse than you can do to me.
For those of you who know Daniel D, and the talk I had with him; you know what I'm talking about.
I don't actively seek out revenge. I'm not a revengeful person. I do however, beleive in justice. I also beleive that karma can actively justify more things than I can.
But more than revenge, and more than justice, are my words. I am patient. And during this time, I'm going to figure out exactly what it is I have to say to you. I will make it as sharp as I think it needs to be. It is my own personal justice. It is my way of moving on. I will have said my peace.
Now, back to the main subject. I care for Amy. I've been praying for amy. I will continue to do that no matter how mad I may get.
However. She's starting to work up a case against herself. There are things that I will tell her one day. Right now, it would be pointless and ineffective. Right now it is not 'sharp' nor hurtful or mean. But this is all starting to make me...agitated.
I am aware that there are jokes being made at my expense. And I am aware that intentionally, or unintentionally, she is perpetuating this. By her actions she is beginning to burn the bridge that I'm holding up. I'm holding it up still because I have faith in her. And while I am aware there may never be a future there, I know she's a good person inside. I'm hanging on to the beleif that this is a "phase" or what not. She's 16, and that comes with the territory. I knew it from the beginning. If this keeps up though, she will not only have burned her bridge to a good friend, but she will be dead to me, and cut off from my world. I don't have the time, effort, or care for stupid drama.
That about sums it up.