Twisted Mental State
What was once a thing that I am passionately into overtime lost its luster due to a lot of deep, personal, and undisclosed reasons. I was an advocate for it. Telling people not to leave. Getting hurt and confused when they leave, come back, then leave again in a cycle. I got affected bec I felt they were leaving me. I considered it a symbolic medium for something that's special and magical. By leaving it, I was alone in that magical place.
I fiercely loved it. Rammed it down their throat to love it or find a silver lining despite the disappointments. They yielded, but half-heartedly.
Because I loved it, I attached my persona to it. Hence, every disappointment in it felt I was disappointing them. I tried though. Tried to win them back by pointing at what's still amazing about it. I kept knocking to say "Hey! Try it out! Join me!" But it fell on deaf ears.
I took a break. Maybe they will miss me, I said to myself. Maybe they will miss the magic. That spark.
I go back, I see they're doing well.
I no longer feel I belong.
I no longer carry the magic. No longer have any exciting thing to offer.
-------
Twisted mind of mine to be affected by it this deeply.
I can't find the joy I found once bec of this ugly mental state I have. I only blame myself for this.
Gotta get out of this funk...NOW.
I fiercely loved it. Rammed it down their throat to love it or find a silver lining despite the disappointments. They yielded, but half-heartedly.
Because I loved it, I attached my persona to it. Hence, every disappointment in it felt I was disappointing them. I tried though. Tried to win them back by pointing at what's still amazing about it. I kept knocking to say "Hey! Try it out! Join me!" But it fell on deaf ears.
I took a break. Maybe they will miss me, I said to myself. Maybe they will miss the magic. That spark.
I go back, I see they're doing well.
I no longer feel I belong.
I no longer carry the magic. No longer have any exciting thing to offer.
-------
Twisted mind of mine to be affected by it this deeply.
I can't find the joy I found once bec of this ugly mental state I have. I only blame myself for this.
Gotta get out of this funk...NOW.