Hitting stressball level
Yeah, uh huh, definitely stressed! I'm actually at the point where I am hitting stressball level, which really isn't good. First of all, the school year really is only a few weeks young so how I am already hitting that dangerous level is beyond me. I think, to venture a guess, that it's because I have taken on too much. Between homework, work study, NU Calling (money troubles got me singing the blues), and drumline I'm finding it hard to balance everything....and I refuse to give one up. Everything all at once is starting to get a little overwhelming, I guess you could say....but I'll be able to handle it.
Today was an okay day. I got up and went to Middler Year Writing class at the library, where we learned about the database search engines and even got to do a little research for our papers. Mine is a recommendation for major record labels to not be allowed to merge together anymore (like Sony and BMG just did) because I think it violates monopoly laws. But, the topic is a little hard to research on, so I've been having problems, and I'm a little behind. I feel like I have, in general, been slacking. I really need to buckle down and just get my shit done, while still making time for everything else. I think I can do it...strike that...I know I can do it.
I feel like I may be giving off a bad vibe, almost like I changed a little bit (some people complain that people never comment in their live journals....I write this for me and really don't care who reads it or comments on it, but in this particular case I'm going to ask whoever reads this for some feedback; those that know me well enough to answer the question: do you think I have changed a little bit, and do you think for better or for worse?). I feel like I have been getting so stressed and involved with my busy schedule that I don't have time to chill out. I try to make time, but I have absolutely NO idea how to relax. So, I think that I come off very mellow because I am kinda mellow in group settings by nature, and that it may come off as rather anti-social. Like, who wants to talk/hang out with someone that is stressed and mellowed out? It seems like everyone would rather hang out with someone that is extremely out-going, hyper, fun, energetic.....Talia and Heather, basically. Which, believe you me, is a great thing. But I almost feel like I'm becoming obsolete, so to speak. No one wants to hang out with someone that is very chill and likes to just hang out and talk and be calm at times as much anymore. I could just be smacking myself around (something I know Joe will get angry at me for) like I seem to be doing lately, but it's just what I noticed. Not that I plan to change my way of going about things.....I am who I am and I don't plan to try and be like anyone else....I like being me....strike that....I love being me! :) But it's just something I noticed....I apologize if I seem to be giving off an anti-social, too mellow vibe and seeming like I can't be fun to hang out with....I don't mean to be giving off that vibe.
Anyway, so yeah, after class I hung around and had lunch and stuff. I hung out with Jeremie a lot today, actually. It was very awesome. We have been complaining that he seems to be spending way too much time with just Katie and that we never get to see him anymore. I'll admit, I have said that numerous times....but I am also the first to admit that he is making a better effort that I expected and is trying really hard to balance it all out. I have no worries about it anymore. My best friend isn't going anywhere. :) I went to my second class which was cool; sat next to Ryan Doerr again. :D He's so hot; we talk all the time during class. He's definitely a pretty cool guy. He's a senior, but we exchanged numbers today, so we'll definitely have to keep in touch. Paul canceled class for tomorrow so we can watch this video he posted on Blackboard, so I have no classes tomorrow. I actually have no obligations tomorrow except for full drumline rehearsal at 8:30p, so that's definitely cool.
I went to go and work the women's soccer game against Holy Cross today, but as I found out when I got there, Mike had given me a schedule with the wrong date on it. They apparently had the game on Monday...won 3-2 in overtime, I hear. Must have been a great game....and I missed it. I also lost a game in which I could have made money. I think I remember over the summer that this was the game where there was a contract for the 20th and the 22nd.....I can't remember at the time what Mike said reigned as correct....I guess I found out too late it was the 20th. :(
I definitely need to make some freakin' money. I'm so broke; it's really ridiculous. NYC definitely set me back a ton and I haven't been able to fully recover. It's tough, but hopefully these two jobs will pay off like I hope they will.
I skipped tenor sectionals tonight (which is awful because I am the caption head), but I was supposed to be at the game and wasn't planning on making it anyway. Even though the game didn't happen today, I skipped sectionals anyway to get work done....took it as a free night to get some reading and research out of the way so tomorrow isn't a complete "nerd day."
I think I'm going to try and get to the driving range tomorrow if it's nice out. I've been so stressed and golfing, frustrating as it is, has a way of getting my mind off of my worries and troubles and stresses...it's nice, because it's 90% mental, so I have to concentrate heavily on golf and nothing else...really helps me clear my mind.
I've been doing a ton of reading tonight.....and getting annoyed as I was reading. It wasn't an easy read (for more reasons than just the text). What's not good is that when I hit stressball level, I get very annoyed at any little distraction. Everything and everyone around me was annoying me (although, granted, they were all ridiculously and unnecessarily loud).....I really need to learn to relax. I need to hit the bed now because I'm wicked tired. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Good night.
Today was an okay day. I got up and went to Middler Year Writing class at the library, where we learned about the database search engines and even got to do a little research for our papers. Mine is a recommendation for major record labels to not be allowed to merge together anymore (like Sony and BMG just did) because I think it violates monopoly laws. But, the topic is a little hard to research on, so I've been having problems, and I'm a little behind. I feel like I have, in general, been slacking. I really need to buckle down and just get my shit done, while still making time for everything else. I think I can do it...strike that...I know I can do it.
I feel like I may be giving off a bad vibe, almost like I changed a little bit (some people complain that people never comment in their live journals....I write this for me and really don't care who reads it or comments on it, but in this particular case I'm going to ask whoever reads this for some feedback; those that know me well enough to answer the question: do you think I have changed a little bit, and do you think for better or for worse?). I feel like I have been getting so stressed and involved with my busy schedule that I don't have time to chill out. I try to make time, but I have absolutely NO idea how to relax. So, I think that I come off very mellow because I am kinda mellow in group settings by nature, and that it may come off as rather anti-social. Like, who wants to talk/hang out with someone that is stressed and mellowed out? It seems like everyone would rather hang out with someone that is extremely out-going, hyper, fun, energetic.....Talia and Heather, basically. Which, believe you me, is a great thing. But I almost feel like I'm becoming obsolete, so to speak. No one wants to hang out with someone that is very chill and likes to just hang out and talk and be calm at times as much anymore. I could just be smacking myself around (something I know Joe will get angry at me for) like I seem to be doing lately, but it's just what I noticed. Not that I plan to change my way of going about things.....I am who I am and I don't plan to try and be like anyone else....I like being me....strike that....I love being me! :) But it's just something I noticed....I apologize if I seem to be giving off an anti-social, too mellow vibe and seeming like I can't be fun to hang out with....I don't mean to be giving off that vibe.
Anyway, so yeah, after class I hung around and had lunch and stuff. I hung out with Jeremie a lot today, actually. It was very awesome. We have been complaining that he seems to be spending way too much time with just Katie and that we never get to see him anymore. I'll admit, I have said that numerous times....but I am also the first to admit that he is making a better effort that I expected and is trying really hard to balance it all out. I have no worries about it anymore. My best friend isn't going anywhere. :) I went to my second class which was cool; sat next to Ryan Doerr again. :D He's so hot; we talk all the time during class. He's definitely a pretty cool guy. He's a senior, but we exchanged numbers today, so we'll definitely have to keep in touch. Paul canceled class for tomorrow so we can watch this video he posted on Blackboard, so I have no classes tomorrow. I actually have no obligations tomorrow except for full drumline rehearsal at 8:30p, so that's definitely cool.
I went to go and work the women's soccer game against Holy Cross today, but as I found out when I got there, Mike had given me a schedule with the wrong date on it. They apparently had the game on Monday...won 3-2 in overtime, I hear. Must have been a great game....and I missed it. I also lost a game in which I could have made money. I think I remember over the summer that this was the game where there was a contract for the 20th and the 22nd.....I can't remember at the time what Mike said reigned as correct....I guess I found out too late it was the 20th. :(
I definitely need to make some freakin' money. I'm so broke; it's really ridiculous. NYC definitely set me back a ton and I haven't been able to fully recover. It's tough, but hopefully these two jobs will pay off like I hope they will.
I skipped tenor sectionals tonight (which is awful because I am the caption head), but I was supposed to be at the game and wasn't planning on making it anyway. Even though the game didn't happen today, I skipped sectionals anyway to get work done....took it as a free night to get some reading and research out of the way so tomorrow isn't a complete "nerd day."
I think I'm going to try and get to the driving range tomorrow if it's nice out. I've been so stressed and golfing, frustrating as it is, has a way of getting my mind off of my worries and troubles and stresses...it's nice, because it's 90% mental, so I have to concentrate heavily on golf and nothing else...really helps me clear my mind.
I've been doing a ton of reading tonight.....and getting annoyed as I was reading. It wasn't an easy read (for more reasons than just the text). What's not good is that when I hit stressball level, I get very annoyed at any little distraction. Everything and everyone around me was annoying me (although, granted, they were all ridiculously and unnecessarily loud).....I really need to learn to relax. I need to hit the bed now because I'm wicked tired. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Good night.