i should get laid more often now that i'm single, so thats a plus.
so... how am i? i literally have no idea. Yesterday was a life altering experience, and i don't know what to do about it.
i have never begged in my life, never fought for someone so hard, but he fucking broke up with me. and the asshole tried to do it over the phone?! no respect.
i made him come over, and i cried and begged, and he just said that he needs to figure himself out and can't handle having me waiting for him. that i'm too good for him, blah, blah, blah. he's right, i am too good for him. who throws away someone's love like that? he says he loves me still, but that he can't deal with me right now. I guess he just doesn't love me enough, so i'll find someone who will.
So i cried hysterically for about an hour or so.... but then i stopped, and i havent cried since. Strange for me. Now i'm just pissed off, bitter, and numb. its great, but it kinda freaks me out at the same time, because i've been that cold-hearted-bitch before, and i don't really want to do it again, but now i'm in the same mode he was in when he said he was done yesterday. I just hope it doesn't sink as deep as i fear it will. Maybe it'll just be like it should, and take the top layer of pain off.
I went to the bar to get shitfaced, and was promptly drunk by 7:30. As soon as i got thee, Josh said i was hot, and the other guy (can't for the life of me remember his name) said i wouldn't stay single long. They gave me stiff drinks, and it was good. I spent 40 bucks on drinks last night. I never do that. Josh and Timmy took care of me and kept me laughing and talked to me about everything. And boosted my confidence as well. We went upstairs and played pool, If Timmy won they got to see boobs, if josh won they got to see ass. Boobs it was. And they complimented me quite nicely. Not my usual deal, usually much more shy and reserved, but i just didn't give a fuck, and it was nice to get noticed, even if it was for my assets...
anyways, now i'm just bitter and angry, because he should have handled this better, he shouldn't have taken me for granted, and he should have loved me more, it's his loss. I will survive, i will go on, and i will find someone better. Fuck him.
.....
don't get me wrong i won't be a bitch to him or anything... well i might talk some shit, but i do that a lot when i'm like this. It'll be kinda funny to hang out with that crowd at the bar and make cracks about how i'll be able to get laid now that i'm single, or that i'll be able to get someone that actually can last more than a few minutes, or the sideways comments that might be an insult... but you're not quite sure.... its tuesday bar night for that crowd, and i'm going to go down there tonight all sexy, and flirt my ass off, and be indifferent to him. I will not cry any fucking more, i'm done. His loss, cause i really am the best girlfriend ever.
i have never begged in my life, never fought for someone so hard, but he fucking broke up with me. and the asshole tried to do it over the phone?! no respect.
i made him come over, and i cried and begged, and he just said that he needs to figure himself out and can't handle having me waiting for him. that i'm too good for him, blah, blah, blah. he's right, i am too good for him. who throws away someone's love like that? he says he loves me still, but that he can't deal with me right now. I guess he just doesn't love me enough, so i'll find someone who will.
So i cried hysterically for about an hour or so.... but then i stopped, and i havent cried since. Strange for me. Now i'm just pissed off, bitter, and numb. its great, but it kinda freaks me out at the same time, because i've been that cold-hearted-bitch before, and i don't really want to do it again, but now i'm in the same mode he was in when he said he was done yesterday. I just hope it doesn't sink as deep as i fear it will. Maybe it'll just be like it should, and take the top layer of pain off.
I went to the bar to get shitfaced, and was promptly drunk by 7:30. As soon as i got thee, Josh said i was hot, and the other guy (can't for the life of me remember his name) said i wouldn't stay single long. They gave me stiff drinks, and it was good. I spent 40 bucks on drinks last night. I never do that. Josh and Timmy took care of me and kept me laughing and talked to me about everything. And boosted my confidence as well. We went upstairs and played pool, If Timmy won they got to see boobs, if josh won they got to see ass. Boobs it was. And they complimented me quite nicely. Not my usual deal, usually much more shy and reserved, but i just didn't give a fuck, and it was nice to get noticed, even if it was for my assets...
anyways, now i'm just bitter and angry, because he should have handled this better, he shouldn't have taken me for granted, and he should have loved me more, it's his loss. I will survive, i will go on, and i will find someone better. Fuck him.
.....
don't get me wrong i won't be a bitch to him or anything... well i might talk some shit, but i do that a lot when i'm like this. It'll be kinda funny to hang out with that crowd at the bar and make cracks about how i'll be able to get laid now that i'm single, or that i'll be able to get someone that actually can last more than a few minutes, or the sideways comments that might be an insult... but you're not quite sure.... its tuesday bar night for that crowd, and i'm going to go down there tonight all sexy, and flirt my ass off, and be indifferent to him. I will not cry any fucking more, i'm done. His loss, cause i really am the best girlfriend ever.