No shakes? No night terrors?
So in a couple of days, it will be three full weeks since the last time I ventured into #plastic chat.
There have been a couple times in the interim where I've found myself with both an idle moment and a sudden urge to break my self-imposed moratorium, but I resisted temptation both times. The first happened a couple days after I cut myself off, after I got a Plastic Note from Sue, wondering if it was her fault that I hadn't been back; I reassured her that she wasn't to blame. The second was a few days ago, when Greg sent me a Plastic Note asking for help with a story submission, and asking where I'd been lately; I helped him and informed him that I just hadn't been in the mood lately.
I'm actually fairly surprised at how little effect staying away has had on my daily existence, considering the amount of time I'd spent in chat previously. If I get bored at work, I can edit some Plastic stories -- I actually posted stories seven days in a row last week, which is unprecedented in Plastic history. If I get bored at home, I can watch TV or play PS2, or go out. There's just no need for me to sit in #plastic all day and all night. It's fun (after a fashion) and convenient as a means of killing time, but I guess I wasn't really as "invested" in it as I'd thought.
Someone who visits infrequently told me the other day that "the dynamic" of chat was different without me around. That's a neutral enough comment that I don't really feel like I'm missing anything by continuing to stay away. And it seems that at some point, avoiding #plastic changed from a self-imposed cool-off period into a challenge...like when I quit smoking (July 1st, 1997. And no, I didn't quit to protest the return of Hong Kong to China. It's just a coincidence. But it does make it easier to remember the anniversary.) So now, even when I feel tempted to drop by for a few minutes to catch up, I'm telling myself "Why bother? You've done without for 18 days, might as well make it 19. Let's see how long we can go."
I still feel like I'll end up going back at some point, but I'm kind of past the point where I'd expected I wouldn't be able to resist anymore. So maybe I'm wrong; maybe I've quit for good. Not sure how to feel about that, or if I should feel anything at all.
--- Ajax.
There have been a couple times in the interim where I've found myself with both an idle moment and a sudden urge to break my self-imposed moratorium, but I resisted temptation both times. The first happened a couple days after I cut myself off, after I got a Plastic Note from Sue, wondering if it was her fault that I hadn't been back; I reassured her that she wasn't to blame. The second was a few days ago, when Greg sent me a Plastic Note asking for help with a story submission, and asking where I'd been lately; I helped him and informed him that I just hadn't been in the mood lately.
I'm actually fairly surprised at how little effect staying away has had on my daily existence, considering the amount of time I'd spent in chat previously. If I get bored at work, I can edit some Plastic stories -- I actually posted stories seven days in a row last week, which is unprecedented in Plastic history. If I get bored at home, I can watch TV or play PS2, or go out. There's just no need for me to sit in #plastic all day and all night. It's fun (after a fashion) and convenient as a means of killing time, but I guess I wasn't really as "invested" in it as I'd thought.
Someone who visits infrequently told me the other day that "the dynamic" of chat was different without me around. That's a neutral enough comment that I don't really feel like I'm missing anything by continuing to stay away. And it seems that at some point, avoiding #plastic changed from a self-imposed cool-off period into a challenge...like when I quit smoking (July 1st, 1997. And no, I didn't quit to protest the return of Hong Kong to China. It's just a coincidence. But it does make it easier to remember the anniversary.) So now, even when I feel tempted to drop by for a few minutes to catch up, I'm telling myself "Why bother? You've done without for 18 days, might as well make it 19. Let's see how long we can go."
I still feel like I'll end up going back at some point, but I'm kind of past the point where I'd expected I wouldn't be able to resist anymore. So maybe I'm wrong; maybe I've quit for good. Not sure how to feel about that, or if I should feel anything at all.
--- Ajax.