my amusing arteestic past, with emphasis on past
I went through my paper drawer, and I discovered a lot of old stuff. Apparantly I was so much funnier before. And creative. Lots more creative. I used to create silly drawings and short stories, songs and sculptures, lately my greatest achievement is: I made a collage background to my earring hanger. Verily, it is to be said that my earring hanger is of my own creations, but it is hardly the peak of my chefs d'oeuvre. Unless I find lots of protesting here I think I'll post a few of the drawings and stories here (I cant exactly post the songs here, it's not like I write notes or anything). I'll start with this little thing I wrote a couple of years ago. I know some of you already read it, as it is a couple of days since I found it and it got me overly excited to remember that: yes, I used to be funny once.
ow Tom Marvolo Riddle Changed His Name
TOM: I’m bored
FANBOY #1: Are you, Tom?
FANGIRL#1: Yeah, Tom, are you?
FANGIRL #2: Really, Tom?
FANBOY #2: Bored, Tom?
FANBOY #3: What?
TOM: Yeah, kinda. I want something new to happen.
FANGIRL #2: Yeah, Tom. Me too.
FANBOY #1: I want something to happen too, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: Me too, Tom. I’m also bored.
FANGIRL #3 (suggestively): I can entertain you, Tom.
FANBOY#2: I can entertain you too, Tom.
FANBOY #2 starts tap dancing
TOM glares at FANBOY #2
FANBOY #2 stops suddenly and starts to cough and choke
FANBOY #2: I mean, I’m also bored, Tom.
TOM: Tom, Tom, Tom! I’m sick of that name! Hmm…
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: Yep! I’m gonna change my name!
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Excellent Idea, Tom… er…
FANGIRL #2: Yeah er… Tom… you should!
FANGIRL #3: You’re so smart, Tom… er… I mean…
FANBOY #3: What?
FANBOY #2: I want to change my name as well!
TOM: No! Only I get to change my name!
FANBOY #2: Sure, Tom. Whatever you say, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: Of course, Tom.
TOM: Okay, go away now, I need to think.
FANBOY #1: Yes, Tom.
FANGIRL #2: Right away, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: We’re gone, Tom.
EVERYBODY not leaving
TOM: …
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: Why are you still here?
FANGIRL #3: This is the common room, Tom. And it’s after curfew.
FANBOY #3: Yeah, Tom, where shall we go?
TOM: I don’t know, I don’t care! Anywhere else? Just leave!
FANBOY #1: Sure Tom.
FANGIRL #2: Whatever you say, Tom.
later
TOM talks to himself
TOM: Hmm… Carl? Joshua? Yeah, I quite like Joshua. Joshua Marvolo Riddle. It has some
kind of ring to it. Joshua Marvolo Riddle. But then again if I’m changing names I should do something about the ”Riddle” part as well. OOH! What if I mix up all the letters and make something out of that? T O M M A R V O L O R I D D L E… that could be… TIM MOVRALO RODDLE! Or maybe something more original… MOLOTOV DRIDLEMAR, ooh that’s cool! Or DORM MEDLI OLTOVO. Yeah, I prefer Molotov Dridlemar. IMAM OVERLORD DOLT? Though I am not muslim. IMMORTAL DOVE LORD? I like Lord. LORD VOMITED MORAL Oooor… LORD VOLDEMORTAMI. I rather like the Lord bit, But Voldemortami is a tad bit long. Hmmm… Oh! I’ve got it! Guys! Guys! Come back in!
EVERYBODYnot there
next day
TOM: So! I’ve finally found my new name! Look!
TOM holds up piece of parchment
FANBOY #2: So… Lord Voldemort, is it?
TOM: I Am Lord Voldemort
FANGIRL #1: Lord Voldemort? Why?
TOM: No, I Am Lord Voldemort!
FANGIRL #1: That’s what I said.
TOM: No, you’ve got to say it all! Everything on the paper!
FANGIRL #1: But I am not Lord Voldemort!
FANBOY #1: I thought we weren’t supposed to change names!
TOM: No, no, you fools! The name is I Am Lord Voldemort!
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: …
EVERYBODY: Aaaahh??
FANBOY #3: Why?
TOM: Why what?
FANBOY #3: Why the I Am in the beginning?
FANBOY #2: yeah. Why not cut it and just say Lord Voldemort?
FANGIRL #2: Yes, because the I am bit is somewhat confusing.
TOM: BeCAUSE! Otherwise it won't be an anagram of my real name. Tom Marvolo Riddle.
FANGIRL #3: Your name is Marvolo?
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Marvolo!
TOM: yes, why?
FANGIRL #2: Hey! You should just call yourself that!
TOM: What, Marvolo?
FANGIRL #2: Exactly! Like Marvolo the Marvellous.
FANBOY #1: Or just Marvolous.
FANGIRL #1: Or Marvollous! With two L’s.
FANGIRL #3: Marvolo is such a rad name!
FANBOY #2: Yeah, cause I Am Lord Voldemort is really long, you know, and, I mean, isn’t
it a bit passé with made up names?
TOM glares at FANBOY #2
FANBOY #2 chokes and gasps
TOM: Okay! So I’ll just stick with Lord Voldemort then! Happy? Gods! But then it won’t make any sense when I do my neat pyro-tech trick!
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Pyro-tech!
FANBOY #3: Flames!
FANGIRL #2: What kind of pyro-tech?
TOM er… LORD VOLDEMORT does the neat pyro-tech trick where he draws the letters of his name in the air with flames and then rearranges them into I AM LORD VOLDEMORT.
EVERYBODY: Oooh!
TOM er… LORD VOLDEMORT: but there!
LORD VOLDEMORT points at I AM
LORD VOLDEMORT: see what I mean? It won’t be an anagram without them!
FANGIRL #3: But you’ll rule the world.
LORD VOLDEMORT: You’re right! How dare they question me! *shouts* Their Lord and master. Their Ruler and leader! Insolent ingrates! I shall strike them down and smite them with the power of my mighty wrath!
LORD VOLDEMORT pants
EVERYBODY: …
FANBOY #1: So… It’s settled then!
FANGIRL #1: So now what do you want to do, Lord Voldemort?
FANGIRL #3: Yeah, Lord Voldemort, are you still bored?
FANBOY #2: I can entert… never mind. Er… yeah, Lord Voldemort, are you bored?
FANGIRL #2: What do you want to do, Lord Voldemort?
Play some goofy end of sketch music.
ow Tom Marvolo Riddle Changed His Name
TOM: I’m bored
FANBOY #1: Are you, Tom?
FANGIRL#1: Yeah, Tom, are you?
FANGIRL #2: Really, Tom?
FANBOY #2: Bored, Tom?
FANBOY #3: What?
TOM: Yeah, kinda. I want something new to happen.
FANGIRL #2: Yeah, Tom. Me too.
FANBOY #1: I want something to happen too, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: Me too, Tom. I’m also bored.
FANGIRL #3 (suggestively): I can entertain you, Tom.
FANBOY#2: I can entertain you too, Tom.
FANBOY #2 starts tap dancing
TOM glares at FANBOY #2
FANBOY #2 stops suddenly and starts to cough and choke
FANBOY #2: I mean, I’m also bored, Tom.
TOM: Tom, Tom, Tom! I’m sick of that name! Hmm…
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: Yep! I’m gonna change my name!
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Excellent Idea, Tom… er…
FANGIRL #2: Yeah er… Tom… you should!
FANGIRL #3: You’re so smart, Tom… er… I mean…
FANBOY #3: What?
FANBOY #2: I want to change my name as well!
TOM: No! Only I get to change my name!
FANBOY #2: Sure, Tom. Whatever you say, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: Of course, Tom.
TOM: Okay, go away now, I need to think.
FANBOY #1: Yes, Tom.
FANGIRL #2: Right away, Tom.
FANGIRL #1: We’re gone, Tom.
EVERYBODY not leaving
TOM: …
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: Why are you still here?
FANGIRL #3: This is the common room, Tom. And it’s after curfew.
FANBOY #3: Yeah, Tom, where shall we go?
TOM: I don’t know, I don’t care! Anywhere else? Just leave!
FANBOY #1: Sure Tom.
FANGIRL #2: Whatever you say, Tom.
later
TOM talks to himself
TOM: Hmm… Carl? Joshua? Yeah, I quite like Joshua. Joshua Marvolo Riddle. It has some
kind of ring to it. Joshua Marvolo Riddle. But then again if I’m changing names I should do something about the ”Riddle” part as well. OOH! What if I mix up all the letters and make something out of that? T O M M A R V O L O R I D D L E… that could be… TIM MOVRALO RODDLE! Or maybe something more original… MOLOTOV DRIDLEMAR, ooh that’s cool! Or DORM MEDLI OLTOVO. Yeah, I prefer Molotov Dridlemar. IMAM OVERLORD DOLT? Though I am not muslim. IMMORTAL DOVE LORD? I like Lord. LORD VOMITED MORAL Oooor… LORD VOLDEMORTAMI. I rather like the Lord bit, But Voldemortami is a tad bit long. Hmmm… Oh! I’ve got it! Guys! Guys! Come back in!
EVERYBODYnot there
next day
TOM: So! I’ve finally found my new name! Look!
TOM holds up piece of parchment
FANBOY #2: So… Lord Voldemort, is it?
TOM: I Am Lord Voldemort
FANGIRL #1: Lord Voldemort? Why?
TOM: No, I Am Lord Voldemort!
FANGIRL #1: That’s what I said.
TOM: No, you’ve got to say it all! Everything on the paper!
FANGIRL #1: But I am not Lord Voldemort!
FANBOY #1: I thought we weren’t supposed to change names!
TOM: No, no, you fools! The name is I Am Lord Voldemort!
EVERYBODY: …
TOM: …
EVERYBODY: Aaaahh??
FANBOY #3: Why?
TOM: Why what?
FANBOY #3: Why the I Am in the beginning?
FANBOY #2: yeah. Why not cut it and just say Lord Voldemort?
FANGIRL #2: Yes, because the I am bit is somewhat confusing.
TOM: BeCAUSE! Otherwise it won't be an anagram of my real name. Tom Marvolo Riddle.
FANGIRL #3: Your name is Marvolo?
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Marvolo!
TOM: yes, why?
FANGIRL #2: Hey! You should just call yourself that!
TOM: What, Marvolo?
FANGIRL #2: Exactly! Like Marvolo the Marvellous.
FANBOY #1: Or just Marvolous.
FANGIRL #1: Or Marvollous! With two L’s.
FANGIRL #3: Marvolo is such a rad name!
FANBOY #2: Yeah, cause I Am Lord Voldemort is really long, you know, and, I mean, isn’t
it a bit passé with made up names?
TOM glares at FANBOY #2
FANBOY #2 chokes and gasps
TOM: Okay! So I’ll just stick with Lord Voldemort then! Happy? Gods! But then it won’t make any sense when I do my neat pyro-tech trick!
FANBOY #1: Ooh! Pyro-tech!
FANBOY #3: Flames!
FANGIRL #2: What kind of pyro-tech?
TOM er… LORD VOLDEMORT does the neat pyro-tech trick where he draws the letters of his name in the air with flames and then rearranges them into I AM LORD VOLDEMORT.
EVERYBODY: Oooh!
TOM er… LORD VOLDEMORT: but there!
LORD VOLDEMORT points at I AM
LORD VOLDEMORT: see what I mean? It won’t be an anagram without them!
FANGIRL #3: But you’ll rule the world.
LORD VOLDEMORT: You’re right! How dare they question me! *shouts* Their Lord and master. Their Ruler and leader! Insolent ingrates! I shall strike them down and smite them with the power of my mighty wrath!
LORD VOLDEMORT pants
EVERYBODY: …
FANBOY #1: So… It’s settled then!
FANGIRL #1: So now what do you want to do, Lord Voldemort?
FANGIRL #3: Yeah, Lord Voldemort, are you still bored?
FANBOY #2: I can entert… never mind. Er… yeah, Lord Voldemort, are you bored?
FANGIRL #2: What do you want to do, Lord Voldemort?
Play some goofy end of sketch music.