(no subject)
Here's the dilemma
I was mindlessly watching tv today during my lunch break from being outside, and I stumbled across the most ridiculously stupid show ever, the flavor of love. 'Flava Flav' drives me up a wall, and I can't stand him, but I found him engaged in a bachelor-esque type setting choosing between two girls, whom he dubbed 'New York' and 'Hoops'. New York was nothing special, however I found myself looking at Hoops and feeling odd. Why couldn't I stop looking at her? She reminded me of a mix of my friend Carmen and Alicia Keys. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and it hit me when I realized I was actually attracted to this girl. I had never met her, never even followed the show, but sitting here today I found myself thinking like an average straight guy and being fascinated by this girl. I guess its not really a new feeling, but this is the first time I've ever really taken the time to think about it. Carmen's all for the idea of me liking girls, because that means we can take our relationship 'to the next level'. ha.
I guess I'm starting to have a lot of questions about life, about after life's over, about a lot of those big questions that we may think about but fail to ever discover the answers. I'm starting to turn more and more to the one place I never thought I would...religion. I guess religion is a bad word for it, because I'm not really sure what religion exactly fits with me yet, but rather I'm turning towards the ideals and the such that are put forth by religions, and whats found in the bible. I've decided that faith is something that I've gone long enough without.
This has been a really bad week in terms of getting upsetting news. I hope this coming week (Mid-term week) doesn't let me down as much :(