the mailman
my family. i love my family. but their faults makes me irritated. the same way my faults irritates them. god what a day. i'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
sometimes i actually contemplate on the idea that i make some weird anonymous journal about my family's "adventures".
it's like a soap opera. the women on my family are all strong people. we're all fucking snakes inside. all have a dirty secret that all the women happen to know about.
but i'm relieved, somehow. that i'm not the only person anymore that thinks "R" is a fucking asshole. i'm not the only one anymore that thinks that he's using my sister. she never listens to me. somehow because i'm 7 years younger, with little experience on heart aches and relationships and life in general, my advice to her aren't valid. it frustrates me because i'm trying to help her come to a decision.
i maybe young, with no experience, maybe so... but i've seen her in almost every stage of her life, been together with her for 20 years, known every one of her dirty secret, every single pricks that have asked her out, that my opinions shouldn't be brushed aside so easily. if there is anyone else on this entire goddamn world that i know inside and out other than myself, it's my sister. i've kept most of her secrets, save the ones i blurted out of anger when i was a kid... but honestly, when something is so big like this, that i know in my heart, that i should tell my parents, or atleast my aunt... it's so hard to just keep it in.
keeping it in wouldn't benefit anyone. if her decision really is to "seperate", now is that perfect opportunity but she's covering it up again. there's no place to move to anymore. can't go forward coz it's a dead-end. she's scared, and as my cousin told me "she's a coward". afraid of the outcome.
but you reap what you sow, right? if she feels such strong convictions towards a certain issue, she should push forward... but it's going nowhere. just another stalemate. and the entire circle of pain just comes back again. she shouldn't think of what anybody else would think of her. who fucking cares! that is one of the stupidest reason.. and the biggest on why she's on this situation in the first place. giving a fucking damn about what people would think of her.
she needs to realize that, but she doesn't listen to me. argghhh, it's so frustrating.
sometimes i actually contemplate on the idea that i make some weird anonymous journal about my family's "adventures".
it's like a soap opera. the women on my family are all strong people. we're all fucking snakes inside. all have a dirty secret that all the women happen to know about.
but i'm relieved, somehow. that i'm not the only person anymore that thinks "R" is a fucking asshole. i'm not the only one anymore that thinks that he's using my sister. she never listens to me. somehow because i'm 7 years younger, with little experience on heart aches and relationships and life in general, my advice to her aren't valid. it frustrates me because i'm trying to help her come to a decision.
i maybe young, with no experience, maybe so... but i've seen her in almost every stage of her life, been together with her for 20 years, known every one of her dirty secret, every single pricks that have asked her out, that my opinions shouldn't be brushed aside so easily. if there is anyone else on this entire goddamn world that i know inside and out other than myself, it's my sister. i've kept most of her secrets, save the ones i blurted out of anger when i was a kid... but honestly, when something is so big like this, that i know in my heart, that i should tell my parents, or atleast my aunt... it's so hard to just keep it in.
keeping it in wouldn't benefit anyone. if her decision really is to "seperate", now is that perfect opportunity but she's covering it up again. there's no place to move to anymore. can't go forward coz it's a dead-end. she's scared, and as my cousin told me "she's a coward". afraid of the outcome.
but you reap what you sow, right? if she feels such strong convictions towards a certain issue, she should push forward... but it's going nowhere. just another stalemate. and the entire circle of pain just comes back again. she shouldn't think of what anybody else would think of her. who fucking cares! that is one of the stupidest reason.. and the biggest on why she's on this situation in the first place. giving a fucking damn about what people would think of her.
she needs to realize that, but she doesn't listen to me. argghhh, it's so frustrating.