it's hard for me to imagine

[aitai_shoon]

ugly girls being sad
ugly boys being depressed

it's a common thing

yet they get the strength to look at beautiful people
and talk to them
and laugh with them
and be perfect with them

perfect girls being sad
perfect boys being depressed

is a sad thing.

I may be biased,
because I'm one of the ugly ones.

In my eyes,
"perfects" don't deserve to feel such things
they don't deserve
it

I close my eyes
and for some reason
I'm shot

Even though I can't see anyone
Even though I can't tell whether they're beautiful
perfect
or not
I can still see myself

for some reason
I feel that
I can never be good enough for anyone
not even my own mother

it's like
what I say
becomes my face
becomes my body
and murders me so, so slowly
because I can never open up
or say nice things
or show my body
like how I want

degrading life line
decaying, eroding
I want to just give up
because I don't have the face
or the body
or the looks
or the intelligence
or the power
to try anymore

I should wash up
or I'll just get more pimples
but it doesn't really matter
I'm not beautiful anyway.