Recently,
I've been thinking a lot.
Maybe because I'm stressed?
I'm tired of life.
That's what I'm trying to say, but it sounds too gloomy.
Coming out of my mouth that is.
I have a lot I want to say, but it's boring so I don't want anyone to hear me say it.
Even to the point, that I feel tired of doing things that I used to enjoy.
I used to love myself.
I believed so.
I thought it doesn't matter where I am, or who I meet or talk to. Even if I'm in love.
I'm tired of that now.
I'm bored.
I don't have time though.
I don't have time to be doing this.
I can be doing better.
I've seen better days.
Or so I'd like to believe. That's the truth.
Lately, I've been thinking.
The pace I'm at right now, is slow to everyone else. I understand why.
Because everyone else can do a lot better than I can. That's why they can say that.
To the government, they think everyone can run at this pace, and that it's the right pace
to get through life.
I think about that, and I think about history. I wonder if Galileo had a time limit to when he had to finish David?
I wonder if he had to learn all that I have to learn today?
The things that are boring.
Why are humans constricted like this?
It's silly to me.
Apparently, god doesn't like freedom.
Nor does he like confinement.
My teachers tell me, that I have a choice.
My mother tells me, that I have a choice. She just needs the money.
My father tells me, that I have a choice. I just have to make the right one.
My brother tells me, I have to make a choice. Now or never.
My sister tells me, I have a choice. I just have to work harder.
As I listen to myself, she tells me, "If you don't feel like working or doing it, don't do it then. Nobody needs half-assed answers or choices or work." Why do I feel this way?
I get angry when people are half-assed. Yet, my hard work is never recognized.
Only the result matters.
That pisses me off.
Where the fuck does my time go then?
I need time to make a good result. Why do you only want my half-hearted work?
Don't ask for it then. Don't ask for so much then.
Therefore, I give up.
I want to be somebody else.
Not for a day. because then I would miss it.
Not as somebody else. Because then I would get tired of it sooner or later.
I want to be reborn.
I want to keep my life a secret.
I wish I knew nothing, but everything.
Family is tiring.
Existing is tiring, but if I could exist without existing, that would make me feel better.
I think I would look different.
Maybe because I'm stressed?
I'm tired of life.
That's what I'm trying to say, but it sounds too gloomy.
Coming out of my mouth that is.
I have a lot I want to say, but it's boring so I don't want anyone to hear me say it.
Even to the point, that I feel tired of doing things that I used to enjoy.
I used to love myself.
I believed so.
I thought it doesn't matter where I am, or who I meet or talk to. Even if I'm in love.
I'm tired of that now.
I'm bored.
I don't have time though.
I don't have time to be doing this.
I can be doing better.
I've seen better days.
Or so I'd like to believe. That's the truth.
Lately, I've been thinking.
The pace I'm at right now, is slow to everyone else. I understand why.
Because everyone else can do a lot better than I can. That's why they can say that.
To the government, they think everyone can run at this pace, and that it's the right pace
to get through life.
I think about that, and I think about history. I wonder if Galileo had a time limit to when he had to finish David?
I wonder if he had to learn all that I have to learn today?
The things that are boring.
Why are humans constricted like this?
It's silly to me.
Apparently, god doesn't like freedom.
Nor does he like confinement.
My teachers tell me, that I have a choice.
My mother tells me, that I have a choice. She just needs the money.
My father tells me, that I have a choice. I just have to make the right one.
My brother tells me, I have to make a choice. Now or never.
My sister tells me, I have a choice. I just have to work harder.
As I listen to myself, she tells me, "If you don't feel like working or doing it, don't do it then. Nobody needs half-assed answers or choices or work." Why do I feel this way?
I get angry when people are half-assed. Yet, my hard work is never recognized.
Only the result matters.
That pisses me off.
Where the fuck does my time go then?
I need time to make a good result. Why do you only want my half-hearted work?
Don't ask for it then. Don't ask for so much then.
Therefore, I give up.
I want to be somebody else.
Not for a day. because then I would miss it.
Not as somebody else. Because then I would get tired of it sooner or later.
I want to be reborn.
I want to keep my life a secret.
I wish I knew nothing, but everything.
Family is tiring.
Existing is tiring, but if I could exist without existing, that would make me feel better.
I think I would look different.