a very real problem
Hyvää huomennaa, sluts.
An overabundance of advertising for these vile objects, as well as a brief but thought-provoking conversation with Jonelle over the etymology of sandwiches, prompted me to compose the following letter, which I then e-mailed the KFC's Customer Service department. I believe I selected the heading "Marketing Suggestions."
To Whom It May Concern,
In advertisements, your new "Double Down" item boasts its lack of a bun, yet is consistently referred to as a "sandwich." As the following definition of "sandwich" from the Oxford English Dictionary clearly displays, a bun, or other bread product, is required in order to define a food object as a "sandwich."
sandwich, n.2 1. An article of food for a light meal or snack, composed of two
thin slices of bread, usu. buttered, with a savoury (orig. spec. meat, esp. beef or
ham) or other filling. Freq. with specifying word prefixed indicating contents, as
ham, egg, watercress, peanut butter (see PEANUT 3a) sandwich, or form, as
club (see CLUB n. 20), Dagwood, Denver, hero (see HERO n. 5), poor boy
(see POOR a. (n.) 8), submarine sandwich (see SUBMARINE n.). Occas. with
only one slice of bread, as in open or open-faced sandwich (see OPEN a. (adv.)
22c), or with biscuits, sliced buns, or cake.
I realize that this may come as a shock to you, and I understand your distress. Proper, grammatical marketing of such an object as the Double Down is a challenging task indeed. However, don't despair. When used as a verb, "sandwich" has a much broader definition:
sandwich, v. 2. trans. To put in or as in a sandwich; chiefly fig., to insert
(something) between two other things of a widely different character; to place
(different elements) alternately; rarely, to enclose like a sandwich. Freq. const. in.
In light of this information, you may wish to begin referring to the Double Down as a "food item in which certain types of meat are sandwiched between other meats," "food-like item involving sandwiching," or simply "disturbing and unlikely amalgamation of meats which can be held in the hand, much like a real sandwich."
I strongly encourage you to devote your full attention to this matter, as the Double Down is problematic enough even without semantic irregularities such as these.
Sincerely,
Emily Beauprey
University of Washington Department of Linguistics
I didn't include my Works Cited page, but that was only due to the 1800 character limit. Motherfuckers wanna limit my self-expression.
An overabundance of advertising for these vile objects, as well as a brief but thought-provoking conversation with Jonelle over the etymology of sandwiches, prompted me to compose the following letter, which I then e-mailed the KFC's Customer Service department. I believe I selected the heading "Marketing Suggestions."
To Whom It May Concern,
In advertisements, your new "Double Down" item boasts its lack of a bun, yet is consistently referred to as a "sandwich." As the following definition of "sandwich" from the Oxford English Dictionary clearly displays, a bun, or other bread product, is required in order to define a food object as a "sandwich."
sandwich, n.2 1. An article of food for a light meal or snack, composed of two
thin slices of bread, usu. buttered, with a savoury (orig. spec. meat, esp. beef or
ham) or other filling. Freq. with specifying word prefixed indicating contents, as
ham, egg, watercress, peanut butter (see PEANUT 3a) sandwich, or form, as
club (see CLUB n. 20), Dagwood, Denver, hero (see HERO n. 5), poor boy
(see POOR a. (n.) 8), submarine sandwich (see SUBMARINE n.). Occas. with
only one slice of bread, as in open or open-faced sandwich (see OPEN a. (adv.)
22c), or with biscuits, sliced buns, or cake.
I realize that this may come as a shock to you, and I understand your distress. Proper, grammatical marketing of such an object as the Double Down is a challenging task indeed. However, don't despair. When used as a verb, "sandwich" has a much broader definition:
sandwich, v. 2. trans. To put in or as in a sandwich; chiefly fig., to insert
(something) between two other things of a widely different character; to place
(different elements) alternately; rarely, to enclose like a sandwich. Freq. const. in.
In light of this information, you may wish to begin referring to the Double Down as a "food item in which certain types of meat are sandwiched between other meats," "food-like item involving sandwiching," or simply "disturbing and unlikely amalgamation of meats which can be held in the hand, much like a real sandwich."
I strongly encourage you to devote your full attention to this matter, as the Double Down is problematic enough even without semantic irregularities such as these.
Sincerely,
Emily Beauprey
University of Washington Department of Linguistics
I didn't include my Works Cited page, but that was only due to the 1800 character limit. Motherfuckers wanna limit my self-expression.