Not FriendsankhoriteDecember 12 2008, 17:05:18 UTC
I'm with Karine above: "Good lord, who put that last straw on the camel's back?"
*sigh* I'm sorry this is still happening to you. It's been eons since I heard "friend" used this way, even in the Midwest, even in non-urban families (except in obits, see below).
This is what Savant and I are forever getting when I intro him to law school acquaintances, including my Gay Rights prof who should have known better:
"I'd like you to meet my partner, Savant."
"Oh, and what kind of law do you practice?"
"Not That Kind of Partner, Professor."
In our case, it's not gender, it's age. I am older, and while an older man/younger woman combo is dead common in Washington, DC, the Land of the Trophy Wife, the reverse emphatically is not.
But this is nothing compared to what you are forced to confront; I mention it only to try to make you laugh.
As a genealogist, "beloved friend" in obituaries makes me want to gnaw my keyboard. Was this person truly a beloved friend? Or were they a same-sex spouse and the grieving family or the overly-timid obit writer is too lily-livered to come out and say so?
Re: Not FriendsaislingtheachDecember 12 2008, 18:33:34 UTC
I'm with Karine above: "Good lord, who put that last straw on the camel's back?"
A coworker with whom I was starting to build a friendship. Who seemed to be upfront about prejudices, but then backtracked and went into full denial and resistance mode even though I was going really mellow with her. It comes in a context of me having used a good deal of my patience throughout the years with several close ones. Dealing with strangers, I find, is far easier than dealing with people you love.
"Not That Kind of Partner, Professor."
In our case, it's not gender, it's age. I am older, and while an older man/younger woman combo is dead common in Washington, DC, the Land of the Trophy Wife, the reverse emphatically is not.
I never had to experience that, but I relate. Sexism really is not my thing and this reeks of it.
As a genealogist, "beloved friend" in obituaries makes me want to gnaw my keyboard. Was this person truly a beloved friend? Or were they a same-sex spouse and the grieving family or the overly-timid obit writer is too lily-livered to come out and say so?
I'm with Karine above: "Good lord, who put that last straw on the camel's back?"
*sigh* I'm sorry this is still happening to you. It's been eons since I heard "friend" used this way, even in the Midwest, even in non-urban families (except in obits, see below).
This is what Savant and I are forever getting when I intro him to law school acquaintances, including my Gay Rights prof who should have known better:
"I'd like you to meet my partner, Savant."
"Oh, and what kind of law do you practice?"
"Not That Kind of Partner, Professor."
In our case, it's not gender, it's age. I am older, and while an older man/younger woman combo is dead common in Washington, DC, the Land of the Trophy Wife, the reverse emphatically is not.
But this is nothing compared to what you are forced to confront; I mention it only to try to make you laugh.
As a genealogist, "beloved friend" in obituaries makes me want to gnaw my keyboard. Was this person truly a beloved friend? Or were they a same-sex spouse and the grieving family or the overly-timid obit writer is too lily-livered to come out and say so?
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A coworker with whom I was starting to build a friendship. Who seemed to be upfront about prejudices, but then backtracked and went into full denial and resistance mode even though I was going really mellow with her. It comes in a context of me having used a good deal of my patience throughout the years with several close ones. Dealing with strangers, I find, is far easier than dealing with people you love.
"Not That Kind of Partner, Professor."
In our case, it's not gender, it's age. I am older, and while an older man/younger woman combo is dead common in Washington, DC, the Land of the Trophy Wife, the reverse emphatically is not.
I never had to experience that, but I relate. Sexism really is not my thing and this reeks of it.
As a genealogist, "beloved friend" in obituaries makes me want to gnaw my keyboard. Was this person truly a beloved friend? Or were they a same-sex spouse and the grieving family or the overly-timid obit writer is too lily-livered to come out and say so?
Amen to that.
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