Hello, I am one of your editors this week, substituting for lacombe at his request.
I found it difficult to understand this piece. It might just be me, though. The concept seems really cool and exciting, I have a great many questions.
The Ringers of Hallowmas Night (or The Ryngars of Holowmas Nyte)
Who are the ringers? What is their purpose? You mention them several times, and it seems that their “purpose” changes down the years until they no longer exist. I understand that everyone in the story knows about them. Somehow, the readers need to know as well.
At the end of the second paragraph, after you call the army a “tessellation” (which I had to look up, by the way - nice word, I really love it), and Elanor asked the lead person why he was there and then walked off, I am not clear if the army is alive.
I love that each paragraph starts with a different day, since Hallows is not on the same day every year.
More questions: What happens to the women? Are these soldiers, this “metal army” always there, or are they only there on Hallowmas?
I found it interesting (and it may just be coincidence) that you have an Elaine going to a party (I can't help thinking of “The Lady of Shallot”), which I, of course, put together with the Arthurian canon. (Again, just me.)
Kay destroys the army. (Again - is the Arthurian reference there intentionally or just in my head?) That's good - I think. I wonder about her hand, though. Is that “slime” something to worry about or can it just wipe or wash off?
What is the connection between the Ringers and the army?
I love the concept and I get drawn in - only to come to a crashing stop with a question.
You have wonderfully vivid imagery about these women, through time. I 'd love to see this concept fleshed out - or see a piece which answers some of the questions.
I found it difficult to understand this piece. It might just be me, though. The concept seems really cool and exciting, I have a great many questions.
The Ringers of Hallowmas Night (or The Ryngars of Holowmas Nyte)
Who are the ringers? What is their purpose? You mention them several times, and it seems that their “purpose” changes down the years until they no longer exist. I understand that everyone in the story knows about them. Somehow, the readers need to know as well.
At the end of the second paragraph, after you call the army a “tessellation” (which I had to look up, by the way - nice word, I really love it), and Elanor asked the lead person why he was there and then walked off, I am not clear if the army is alive.
I love that each paragraph starts with a different day, since Hallows is not on the same day every year.
More questions: What happens to the women? Are these soldiers, this “metal army” always there, or are they only there on Hallowmas?
I found it interesting (and it may just be coincidence) that you have an Elaine going to a party (I can't help thinking of “The Lady of Shallot”), which I, of course, put together with the Arthurian canon. (Again, just me.)
Kay destroys the army. (Again - is the Arthurian reference there intentionally or just in my head?) That's good - I think. I wonder about her hand, though. Is that “slime” something to worry about or can it just wipe or wash off?
What is the connection between the Ringers and the army?
I love the concept and I get drawn in - only to come to a crashing stop with a question.
You have wonderfully vivid imagery about these women, through time. I 'd love to see this concept fleshed out - or see a piece which answers some of the questions.
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Your questions helped a lot to put the piece in perspective -- I do have some answers for them, but not time to delve into them yet.
I've been reading/ studying Samuel Beckett lately, and thus haven't felt obligated to explain what I write ;)
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