Still so sad...
I said to Colby last Wednesday afternoon, after leaving the mercy meal following Ava's funeral, that it almost seemed surreal. Here we were, grieving, coping with such horrible pain just gnawing at your heart, and people were out on the streets strolling along, riding bikes, walking dogs, running errands, pushing strollers, having not a clue about what just happened, what our family is going through. It was almost surreal that life was going on for others while the world had stopped turning for us. I was angry -- really angry at the smiling, happy, oblivious people we were passing. And just so sad. But it's been overwhelming, and inspiring, to see just how people do pull together to help when something this unexplainable happens. In case you didn't know, Annette & I work at the same child care center. Our co-workers went to work the weekend after Ava was born to cook tons of meals for Annette & Andy to stock in their freezer. I carried home two huge boxes filled with meals for them -- lasagna, baked ziti, casseroles, breakfast breads, bagels & juice, desserts...
Many parents of children at the center began leaving checks for Annette & Andy, a spontaneous fund to help them with expenses. co-workers and parents keep checking in on me, they ask how my sister's doing, then want to know how I'm doing, how our family's doing, is there anything anyone needs? It's overwhelming, and humbling. I thank God I work where I do, that we do pull together to help each other out.
Of course, not everyone is sensitive. The day after Ava's funeral, the parents of one of my preschoolers shoved a photo of his new baby daughter under my nose. Born the evening before -- hours after we buried my niece. I don't even remember what I said, how I responded. I choked out something appropriate, I'm sure, congratulations, how exciting, she's beautiful, etc. Went to the bathroom & cried. I can't begrudge anyone else's happiness, but I just wasn't prepared to see that photo right then and there.
Many parents of children at the center began leaving checks for Annette & Andy, a spontaneous fund to help them with expenses. co-workers and parents keep checking in on me, they ask how my sister's doing, then want to know how I'm doing, how our family's doing, is there anything anyone needs? It's overwhelming, and humbling. I thank God I work where I do, that we do pull together to help each other out.
Of course, not everyone is sensitive. The day after Ava's funeral, the parents of one of my preschoolers shoved a photo of his new baby daughter under my nose. Born the evening before -- hours after we buried my niece. I don't even remember what I said, how I responded. I choked out something appropriate, I'm sure, congratulations, how exciting, she's beautiful, etc. Went to the bathroom & cried. I can't begrudge anyone else's happiness, but I just wasn't prepared to see that photo right then and there.