(no subject)
I haven't been online much lately. Again.
This is what always happens when anything makes me feel uncomfortable or upset. I end up running away from the whole thing rather than just the specific thing that's bothering me. I'm sorry... I keep meaning to come online but I get that feeling like if I do it's only going to make me feel shitty so I avoid it at all costs. I'm going through a change in my life right now and getting used to things operating differently from how they always have, so I'm kinda chaotic and I think that's got something to do with it.
It feels like all I do is work and sleep and avoid. I don't wanna be doing this, but I don't see any alternative. If I face my fears and stop avoiding the confrontations I'm worried about, it's just going to add to all the other stuff I'm working out and sorting through. I don't like the idea of facing issues with a cluttered mind.
This is all excuses and I know it. That just makes it worse. x_x Gah, I don't blame anyone for being upset at me.
/emo entry of the month.
This is what always happens when anything makes me feel uncomfortable or upset. I end up running away from the whole thing rather than just the specific thing that's bothering me. I'm sorry... I keep meaning to come online but I get that feeling like if I do it's only going to make me feel shitty so I avoid it at all costs. I'm going through a change in my life right now and getting used to things operating differently from how they always have, so I'm kinda chaotic and I think that's got something to do with it.
It feels like all I do is work and sleep and avoid. I don't wanna be doing this, but I don't see any alternative. If I face my fears and stop avoiding the confrontations I'm worried about, it's just going to add to all the other stuff I'm working out and sorting through. I don't like the idea of facing issues with a cluttered mind.
This is all excuses and I know it. That just makes it worse. x_x Gah, I don't blame anyone for being upset at me.
/emo entry of the month.