[Fic] Refabricate KaixRuki 1/1
Title: Refabricate
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: aiska_eien
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama
Warnings: fluff, dual-sided Ruki, implied manxman
Rating: PG
Pairings: Kai/Ruki
Synopsis: Stress has gotten to Ruki and shattered the persona he puts forth. Fortunately Kai is there to piece it back together.
Comments: Enjoy! Comments are love.
There are times when everything just becomes too much.
The stress of everything, of photoshoots and interviews, of designing tour goods and writing lyrics just becomes too much for me to bear. I can feel myself cracking under the pressure. They break the image of Ruki that I project to the world, leaving vulnerable, unguarded Takanori exposed to everything. Takanori could not take the pressure of being the amazing vocalist of such an awesome band like the GazettE. That was why the persona of Ruki had been created. Ruki was able to handle the pressure and was thus essential to the continued success of the band. But in the end Ruki was just an image I projected and I would eventually just become plain, fragile Takanori once again.
Today had been one of those days when Ruki had shattered. Lyrics for the new album would not flow out the tip of my pen like they normally did, my computer somehow managed to lose all the tour goods designs I had been working on, and at practice I had kept stumbling over lyrics I knew that I knew by heart. By the third time I had just outright blanked on a piece of lyrics Kai had decided to call for a break.
I had grabbed my pack of cancer sticks and something to light them before all but fleeing the room. I quickly ascended to the roof of the building, the pieces of Ruki fracturing off and leaving a path behind me that only I could see. I thanked whatever higher power that the roof was deserted when I got there so that no one could see my fumbling and shaking hands struggle to light a cigarette. With my first inhalation of the nicotine-laden smoke the final piece of Ruki fell away and I was Takanori once again.
I stood on that rooftop staring blankly out at the city laid out before me, robotically making the movements to smoke. As I looked out at the city I thought about the situation before me. Takanori could finish the practice that Ruki had stumbled through for Takanori loved to sing as much as Ruki did. But what if I wasn’t able to reform Ruki by tomorrow? We had both a photoshoot and interview tomorrow and Takanori was simply too shy to command a fierce presence in front of a camera lens or be able to give intelligent answers to the questions posed by the interviewer. I had to piece Ruki back together even if it was just a shoddy version of him.
A hand stopped me from taking another drag, alerting me to the fact that my cigarette had burned down to the filter. I dropped the butt and habitually squashed it to smithereens on the plaster and concrete roof where it joined hundreds of its brethren that had been put there by many of the other individuals that worked or practiced in this building. I managed to bring my gaze up from the remains of numerous cancer sticks to find that it had been Kai who had stopped my robotic motions of smoking.
“Are you okay, Ruki?” he asked, concern visible in his chocolate-brown eyes.
“Yeah,” I answered automatically, trying not to stutter or give Kai any indication that I was lying to him. The fact that I was indeed lying to him made me feel guilty in a way but I didn’t wish to worry him for I knew he had his own stresses to deal with and it would be cruel of me to heap my own stresses onto him.
“You sure? You were making a lot of mistakes during practice today, much more than you normally make. “Of course Kai had been his usual observant self and noticed that something was indeed wrong with me, meaning that his first question had been rhetorical. I should have realized it in the first place since Kai had been the one to call for a break and he had obviously noticed my flight from the practice room. “If there really is something wrong you can tell me, you know that right? You don’t have to keep things to yourself.”
“There’s nothing wrong.” I turned my gaze away from Kai and back towards the city because I couldn’t find myself able to lie straight to his concerned face. “I’m just having an off day, that’s all. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”
I wanted to add “I hope” to the end of that.
“I see then,” I couldn’t even guess his tone. “Can you finish practice today or do you want to end early?”
“I can keep going,” I said turning towards the door that would take me off the roof. “I guess I needed a smoke break more than I thought.”
We walked back to the practice room in a semi-awkward silence and I was glad that he could not see the pieces of Ruki that littered our path. The others were waiting for us in the practice room, Aoi and Uruha chattering on the couch while Reita fiddled with his bass. Uruha had stopped in mid-sentence when Kai and I had walked in and though I saw a flicker of worry in his eyes it was soon replaced with enthusiasm to get back to practice.
As Takanori I was able to sail through the rest of practice without any more mistakes except for accidentally dropping the mike once or twice due to Takanori’s ever present clumsiness. But the singing was on par with Ruki’s. full of the same emotion and passion with which I wrote my lyrics. Only Ruki could perform them on stage though because for Takanori much of the songs meant too much to simply be “performed” in front of large audiences.
When Kai called an end to practice I flopped onto the practice room couch out of relief. I watched out of half-lidded eyes as everyone else proceeded to pack up. It was nice just to innocently observe everyone. I paid attention to how Aoi and Uruha were being devious in their seemingly innocent ploy to get Reita to go drinking with them. From the way Aoi’s lips were curling I was sure they planned to share more than drinks with the bassist. Kai must have caught on too for he made it a point to remind them once again that we had a photoshoot tomorrow as the three departed together. I closed my eyes as soon as they left, fully content with taking a short nap before actually heading home. It was quiet in the practice room, the only sound being Kai shuffling around the room more than likely trying to find something he lost. I was nearly asleep when I felt him approach me.
“You should really go home if you’re that tired,” he said gently, shaking my shoulder lightly. Ruki in this situation would have whined and turned over, making a childish statement at the same time. As Takanori however I raised my head slightly and blinked sleepily at him.
“Just a nap…” I mumbled before setting my head back down and closing my eyes.
“Oh no you don’t,” he said with a laugh. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”
Reluctantly I got up, gathered my things and obediently followed Kai down to his car. The ride home was spent in comfortable silence and I nearly dozed off, the thrum of the car’s engine almost like a lullaby. Sooner than I realized we were at my building and Kai was accompanying me to my apartment. He made sure I got into my place before departing.
“I’ll come pick you up for the photoshoot tomorrow,” he stated with his usual dimpled smile. “Hopefully I won’t have to drag you out of bed.”
I shrugged at the statement, not really knowing if I would end up sleeping in or actually get up early so I could try and reform Ruki.
“Oh, one more thing,” he leaned in close to me, almost like a child telling a secret, “it’s okay if it’s Takanori I pick up tomorrow. I’m sure he can pull off one simple photoshoot. Besides I’d like to see him more often anyways.”
And then he kissed me.
In truth it was a lingering peck on the lips but it was still not a kiss one would expect from a close friend. I found myself unable to read to it. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I vaguely registered Kai saying goodbye and leaving. I managed to stumble into my apartment, closing the door behind me.
I ended up going directly to my bed since I now had no need to try and refabricate Ruki. Kai’s kiss had reformed him in a split second, and now the horny bastard was plotting a way to get himself into Kai’s pants. I however was still stuck as Takanori which meant I was doing little more than cocooning myself in my covers while I blushed madly. Maybe I would try to be Takanori more often if it meant that I’d be able to obtain the elusive Kai.
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: aiska_eien
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Drama
Warnings: fluff, dual-sided Ruki, implied manxman
Rating: PG
Pairings: Kai/Ruki
Synopsis: Stress has gotten to Ruki and shattered the persona he puts forth. Fortunately Kai is there to piece it back together.
Comments: Enjoy! Comments are love.
There are times when everything just becomes too much.
The stress of everything, of photoshoots and interviews, of designing tour goods and writing lyrics just becomes too much for me to bear. I can feel myself cracking under the pressure. They break the image of Ruki that I project to the world, leaving vulnerable, unguarded Takanori exposed to everything. Takanori could not take the pressure of being the amazing vocalist of such an awesome band like the GazettE. That was why the persona of Ruki had been created. Ruki was able to handle the pressure and was thus essential to the continued success of the band. But in the end Ruki was just an image I projected and I would eventually just become plain, fragile Takanori once again.
Today had been one of those days when Ruki had shattered. Lyrics for the new album would not flow out the tip of my pen like they normally did, my computer somehow managed to lose all the tour goods designs I had been working on, and at practice I had kept stumbling over lyrics I knew that I knew by heart. By the third time I had just outright blanked on a piece of lyrics Kai had decided to call for a break.
I had grabbed my pack of cancer sticks and something to light them before all but fleeing the room. I quickly ascended to the roof of the building, the pieces of Ruki fracturing off and leaving a path behind me that only I could see. I thanked whatever higher power that the roof was deserted when I got there so that no one could see my fumbling and shaking hands struggle to light a cigarette. With my first inhalation of the nicotine-laden smoke the final piece of Ruki fell away and I was Takanori once again.
I stood on that rooftop staring blankly out at the city laid out before me, robotically making the movements to smoke. As I looked out at the city I thought about the situation before me. Takanori could finish the practice that Ruki had stumbled through for Takanori loved to sing as much as Ruki did. But what if I wasn’t able to reform Ruki by tomorrow? We had both a photoshoot and interview tomorrow and Takanori was simply too shy to command a fierce presence in front of a camera lens or be able to give intelligent answers to the questions posed by the interviewer. I had to piece Ruki back together even if it was just a shoddy version of him.
A hand stopped me from taking another drag, alerting me to the fact that my cigarette had burned down to the filter. I dropped the butt and habitually squashed it to smithereens on the plaster and concrete roof where it joined hundreds of its brethren that had been put there by many of the other individuals that worked or practiced in this building. I managed to bring my gaze up from the remains of numerous cancer sticks to find that it had been Kai who had stopped my robotic motions of smoking.
“Are you okay, Ruki?” he asked, concern visible in his chocolate-brown eyes.
“Yeah,” I answered automatically, trying not to stutter or give Kai any indication that I was lying to him. The fact that I was indeed lying to him made me feel guilty in a way but I didn’t wish to worry him for I knew he had his own stresses to deal with and it would be cruel of me to heap my own stresses onto him.
“You sure? You were making a lot of mistakes during practice today, much more than you normally make. “Of course Kai had been his usual observant self and noticed that something was indeed wrong with me, meaning that his first question had been rhetorical. I should have realized it in the first place since Kai had been the one to call for a break and he had obviously noticed my flight from the practice room. “If there really is something wrong you can tell me, you know that right? You don’t have to keep things to yourself.”
“There’s nothing wrong.” I turned my gaze away from Kai and back towards the city because I couldn’t find myself able to lie straight to his concerned face. “I’m just having an off day, that’s all. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”
I wanted to add “I hope” to the end of that.
“I see then,” I couldn’t even guess his tone. “Can you finish practice today or do you want to end early?”
“I can keep going,” I said turning towards the door that would take me off the roof. “I guess I needed a smoke break more than I thought.”
We walked back to the practice room in a semi-awkward silence and I was glad that he could not see the pieces of Ruki that littered our path. The others were waiting for us in the practice room, Aoi and Uruha chattering on the couch while Reita fiddled with his bass. Uruha had stopped in mid-sentence when Kai and I had walked in and though I saw a flicker of worry in his eyes it was soon replaced with enthusiasm to get back to practice.
As Takanori I was able to sail through the rest of practice without any more mistakes except for accidentally dropping the mike once or twice due to Takanori’s ever present clumsiness. But the singing was on par with Ruki’s. full of the same emotion and passion with which I wrote my lyrics. Only Ruki could perform them on stage though because for Takanori much of the songs meant too much to simply be “performed” in front of large audiences.
When Kai called an end to practice I flopped onto the practice room couch out of relief. I watched out of half-lidded eyes as everyone else proceeded to pack up. It was nice just to innocently observe everyone. I paid attention to how Aoi and Uruha were being devious in their seemingly innocent ploy to get Reita to go drinking with them. From the way Aoi’s lips were curling I was sure they planned to share more than drinks with the bassist. Kai must have caught on too for he made it a point to remind them once again that we had a photoshoot tomorrow as the three departed together. I closed my eyes as soon as they left, fully content with taking a short nap before actually heading home. It was quiet in the practice room, the only sound being Kai shuffling around the room more than likely trying to find something he lost. I was nearly asleep when I felt him approach me.
“You should really go home if you’re that tired,” he said gently, shaking my shoulder lightly. Ruki in this situation would have whined and turned over, making a childish statement at the same time. As Takanori however I raised my head slightly and blinked sleepily at him.
“Just a nap…” I mumbled before setting my head back down and closing my eyes.
“Oh no you don’t,” he said with a laugh. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”
Reluctantly I got up, gathered my things and obediently followed Kai down to his car. The ride home was spent in comfortable silence and I nearly dozed off, the thrum of the car’s engine almost like a lullaby. Sooner than I realized we were at my building and Kai was accompanying me to my apartment. He made sure I got into my place before departing.
“I’ll come pick you up for the photoshoot tomorrow,” he stated with his usual dimpled smile. “Hopefully I won’t have to drag you out of bed.”
I shrugged at the statement, not really knowing if I would end up sleeping in or actually get up early so I could try and reform Ruki.
“Oh, one more thing,” he leaned in close to me, almost like a child telling a secret, “it’s okay if it’s Takanori I pick up tomorrow. I’m sure he can pull off one simple photoshoot. Besides I’d like to see him more often anyways.”
And then he kissed me.
In truth it was a lingering peck on the lips but it was still not a kiss one would expect from a close friend. I found myself unable to read to it. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I vaguely registered Kai saying goodbye and leaving. I managed to stumble into my apartment, closing the door behind me.
I ended up going directly to my bed since I now had no need to try and refabricate Ruki. Kai’s kiss had reformed him in a split second, and now the horny bastard was plotting a way to get himself into Kai’s pants. I however was still stuck as Takanori which meant I was doing little more than cocooning myself in my covers while I blushed madly. Maybe I would try to be Takanori more often if it meant that I’d be able to obtain the elusive Kai.