daisy
I went to my first funeral service today.
The deceased was a person from my mother's side of the family. It's actually a really far distance...my mother's father's father's brother's son's wife. So, my grandfather's cousin's wife. When my two eldest aunts went to live in Hong Kong, it was this auntie that took care of them and provided for them. Apparently, my parents took us to visit her once, but I don't remember. Originally, it was just going to be my mom going with her sisters, but then Janson called and said he was going. So my mom decided to take Vivian and me. I didn't want to go because I didn't want to be sad, and I didn't really know her. But my mom told me that it was a happy funeral, because she had died of old age. So I agreed and we three girls trooped over to Janson's house, where we all met and took off from. So, it was my big aunt, my second aunt plus husband, my mom and two girls, my youngest aunt and her son. Before we left, my grandma told the three kids not to laugh too loud or be fidgety. We went there and when we got there, it was my aunts that were laughing loud and my eldest aunt scolded them, saying how my grandma had told us to be good and they weren't being good. haha. Inside the chapel, we met people and there was hugging and introductions. We met the deceased's sons and their families. We signed the guestbook and got the little package thingies. We had some refreshments and then it was time for the funeral. It started off rather unexceptional, with a chinese priest reading off a service book of prayers and blessings. The really emotional part was when the deceased's granddaughter spoke her eulogy. This granddaughter was raised by her because when she was really young, her mother had died of a tumor and her father left. So the granddaughter's speech was really moving and personal. It made me cry. But I didn't shed a tear because I felt that it was a happy funeral. Before the service, her sons were laughing and joking around with my aunts and uncle. It sounded like my distant relative really did have a fulfilled and happy life. While it had it's ups and downs, she really left a great legacy behind in her children and her grandchildren, and in the people who knew her and loved her. If it hadn't been for her taking in my two aunts in Hong Kong, they might have never had the opportunity they did to move to Canada to study and therefore my mother might not have moved here either. So, I'm really grateful to her. In a way, I owe my peaceful and wonderful life to her and I thank her.
There was a man in the second row who was crying really hard. I noticed him as soon as the service started. He was a really old man and looked really sad. I found out later that that man was the granddaughter's father. The granddaughter, understandable, said not a word to her father, but from his tears, I understood how much of an impression my relative must've made in his life. Apparently, she had forgiven him for leaving, while his own daughter had not.
Then we ate our candies and left. To spend the dollar, we decided to pool our money ($8) and get $8 worth of gas. It was fun watching my aunts and my mom talking and laughing together. My mom and my youngest aunt had never lived with my two eldest aunts. Before they were born, the two eldest had already gone to Hong Kong. This is why I really admire their relationship right now. How amiable and so loving it is, even though they really aren't that close. Even though my own mother had the three of us all in a row so that we'd grow up together, our relationship is not great at all. I hope though, that one day, the three us of would have the relationship my mother envisioned for us.
When people say "thanks for coming," I say "take care boh jong" (excuse my bad pinyin). Not "...." I learned that today.
The deceased was a person from my mother's side of the family. It's actually a really far distance...my mother's father's father's brother's son's wife. So, my grandfather's cousin's wife. When my two eldest aunts went to live in Hong Kong, it was this auntie that took care of them and provided for them. Apparently, my parents took us to visit her once, but I don't remember. Originally, it was just going to be my mom going with her sisters, but then Janson called and said he was going. So my mom decided to take Vivian and me. I didn't want to go because I didn't want to be sad, and I didn't really know her. But my mom told me that it was a happy funeral, because she had died of old age. So I agreed and we three girls trooped over to Janson's house, where we all met and took off from. So, it was my big aunt, my second aunt plus husband, my mom and two girls, my youngest aunt and her son. Before we left, my grandma told the three kids not to laugh too loud or be fidgety. We went there and when we got there, it was my aunts that were laughing loud and my eldest aunt scolded them, saying how my grandma had told us to be good and they weren't being good. haha. Inside the chapel, we met people and there was hugging and introductions. We met the deceased's sons and their families. We signed the guestbook and got the little package thingies. We had some refreshments and then it was time for the funeral. It started off rather unexceptional, with a chinese priest reading off a service book of prayers and blessings. The really emotional part was when the deceased's granddaughter spoke her eulogy. This granddaughter was raised by her because when she was really young, her mother had died of a tumor and her father left. So the granddaughter's speech was really moving and personal. It made me cry. But I didn't shed a tear because I felt that it was a happy funeral. Before the service, her sons were laughing and joking around with my aunts and uncle. It sounded like my distant relative really did have a fulfilled and happy life. While it had it's ups and downs, she really left a great legacy behind in her children and her grandchildren, and in the people who knew her and loved her. If it hadn't been for her taking in my two aunts in Hong Kong, they might have never had the opportunity they did to move to Canada to study and therefore my mother might not have moved here either. So, I'm really grateful to her. In a way, I owe my peaceful and wonderful life to her and I thank her.
There was a man in the second row who was crying really hard. I noticed him as soon as the service started. He was a really old man and looked really sad. I found out later that that man was the granddaughter's father. The granddaughter, understandable, said not a word to her father, but from his tears, I understood how much of an impression my relative must've made in his life. Apparently, she had forgiven him for leaving, while his own daughter had not.
Then we ate our candies and left. To spend the dollar, we decided to pool our money ($8) and get $8 worth of gas. It was fun watching my aunts and my mom talking and laughing together. My mom and my youngest aunt had never lived with my two eldest aunts. Before they were born, the two eldest had already gone to Hong Kong. This is why I really admire their relationship right now. How amiable and so loving it is, even though they really aren't that close. Even though my own mother had the three of us all in a row so that we'd grow up together, our relationship is not great at all. I hope though, that one day, the three us of would have the relationship my mother envisioned for us.
When people say "thanks for coming," I say "take care boh jong" (excuse my bad pinyin). Not "...." I learned that today.