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i feel like writing a reaaaaaally long entry that no one will read because it's too long and will get boring after the first three lines...hmm...i never write more than four lines usually...hm. oh well. anyways. i think i think too much. i've started to daydream and think about ... people. a person. THINGS! that have nothing to do with anything. and it's fun. cuz in my own way, i'm reading a book that i'm writing in my head and it's fun cuz then i can adjust what i want to hear...hehe...maybe i'm just going insane from all the pokemon i've been playing. CAN YOU BELIEVE I'M PLAYING POKEMON?? and even with all my japanese knowledge, i still pronounce it po-kee-moon. lol, joanne would be ashamed of me. someone said that of me once...i don't know what i said, but someone didn't like it and they said that they were ashamed of me. that made me feel bad. i don't remember who said that though. hm. my mom's complaining that i scream out of nowhere and she doesn't like it. it seems like i'm changing a lot. i didn't used to be like this. i used to be polite, quiet, and good. now, i'm not good, quiet, and less polite than before. but now, i'm more outgoing and less shy. but people don't seem to like the now-me. but i don't like the before-me that much. before, i was too shy. if i am the way i was before, i wouldn't have as much fun and i wouldn't be able to see things the way i see them now. i'd probably see things differently but i like the way i see things now. and i'm more open now. before you'd kill me before i'd tell you who i like. now, it's easier...hm. or maybe it's cuz you tell me who you like so it's easier for me to tell you who i like. no.... my friends have always told me who they like...but i could never tell them who i liked. but we've all grown up now and i don't play with my friends from childhood. i've made new friends and that's cool. lol. very coo. i like thinking about the past. the past makes me smile. but sometimes i think of things that make me shudder and hit my head because i don't want to remember. right now, i can't think of anything but there have been really bad times in my life that i'd rather forget...when i think of the future i think about school and family. that's it. i want to make something of my life. ever since i was young, i told my friends that i don't know what i want to do when i grow up, i just want something of mine to make people happy and have it known. like tupperware. tupperware makes my mom happy but she doesn't know and doesn't care who invented it or who produced it or whatever. [oh. john's back.] but now that i've become more mature and realistic, i think that there have been many people who think like me but who have died already, without completing there heart's desire. will i die like that? i'm scared...but i don't have the ability to be like mr. tupper. everything has already been invented. ok fine not everything buy my mind isn't creative enough to think of anything else. inventions come with a need. a purpose. and life for me is perfect. (except for money)i have everything that i could ever need. que sera sera. man. go simpsons. the simpsons have taught me many things. in fifteen minutes, i will go watch the simpsons. it's 7:45 right now. i've been writing for fifteen minutes already. heh i can keep going. there's so much that i haven't experienced yet but what if i die before i can experience it all? then what's the point of trying in the first place? what's the point of me having a goal. yes there's this slim chance that i won't die before i've completed all my goals and experienced all that i'd ever need to experience, but then is there a point in starting? obviously i believe there is. and i won't give up either just cuz i'm ignorant or have no network. hah. go careers. sometimes i think that what i'm working towards isn't a successful life, but a full life. i don't care if i make millions of dollars (but it would help! ^^)i just want to be able to climb the himalayan mountains, swim in the indian ocean, fix a computer, become friends with kimeru, and fold a thousand cranes all by myself. lol maybe that's a bit farfetched, but that's how i think sometimes. then sometimes (other times) i think that all i want is to marry a cute guy who would love me forever, have kids, and raise super-intelligent and super-athletic children who will conquer the next generation. lol. that's not farfetched is it? ok maybe it is. stop it =p. i don't know what i want to do with me life. i suck. see, i do think too much. about him. about THINGS. ^___^ i still have two more minutes to fill. i think i'm fat. i'm going to play tennis in the summer time and lose some weight before we go to china in the summer. march break's just started, and i have a whole week to think, shop, and play. yeah man. go yorkdale mall. and pmall =P .one day, i'm going to walk to the park at midnight. go me!